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Seems like, to me, that most men don't like it when women do the driving. If he gives you grief, you could always tell him, "fine. I don't mind being the passenger sometimes. You drive." (I'm assuming he'll drive his own car? Or does he want to drive YOUR car?
I look at it like that too. She said he always gives her compliments, so for me that kind of cancels out the critiquing of others, especially food and service.
Not me. Anyone can be super-nice to people they are fond of and want to impress. It's how they treat other people, including service staff, that is more telling about their personality. (And again, if he is never satisfied with restaurants, maybe he needs to stop going to them.)
Abusive types also can be super-sweet... except when they're not. I'm not saying he's abusive, but I am saying that "he gives her compliments" does not necessarily mean "he's a nice guy."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hackopotamus
Well, do you (tailgate)? Some people are backseat drivers but some people have poor driving habits. Some don't know that they have poor driving habits. Do you know what the proper interval to maintain is? Does he mention this while you are driving and do you back off accordingly?
When he is driving "aggressively" do you say anything to him? Something like, "I know you are a good and experienced driver but I get scared easily. Could you slow down just a little?".
Do you not clean your pots thoroughly? Are there bits of food left in them? If so, them maybe you might want to do a better job at it.
Sometimes criticism isn't unfounded. I don't think criticism in itself is a bad thing. However, I think the way someones criticizes can make a difference. If it is presented in a mean malicious way versus a more helpful way then that is a red flag.
The inability to accept criticism can also be a red flag. Sometimes you have to do some self examination and be willing to be a better person. This obviously applies to both people in a relationship.
If someone doesn't like the way I drive... they are welcome to not ride in my car. If they don't like how I keep my pots, they are welcome to not come to my home. To continue to do either of those things and complain, well-- you don't garner much sympathy from me if you complain about a situation you could easily change yet choose not to (and think you are entitled to keep complaining).
If someone doesn't like the way I drive... they are welcome to not ride in my car. If they don't like how I keep my pots, they are welcome to not come to my home. To continue to do either of those things and complain, well-- you don't garner much sympathy from me if you complain about a situation you could easily change yet choose not to (and think you are entitled to keep complaining).
Really? So if you are a bad and dangerous driver and someone calls you out on it, rather than trying to improve you just say "don't ride with me"?
Really? So if you are a bad and dangerous driver and someone calls you out on it, rather than trying to improve you just say "don't ride with me"?
Where did OP say they were a bad and dangerous driver? Where did I say I was? All we know is that OP gets criticized (by someone who seems to criticize everything); we don't know if it's warranted.
And yes, if someone were concerned that I was so "dangerous," maybe they should report me instead of willingly getting in my car and riding along. If I'm not "bad and dangerous" but they just don't like the way I drive... well, they still shouldn't willingly get in my car and then complain.
It sounds like he is a perfectionist. He may be accurate in his criticisms but a complainer does not make an enjoyable companion. Perhaps you should let him know how his intolerance of others comes across and diminishes the experience for you.
“He’s thoughtful to me me and my family” “Sometimes he critiques the restaurant and some times he compliments it” “He’s” a very good cook”.
Yeah, I was just having dinner with someone who’s family is in the restaurant/service/culinary industry. All of them. He does notice bad service and improperly cooked food. He’s nice to me, not so patient with other people. Oh well, I take the positive with the negative. It’s not like I suspect something ominous for the future because he’s opinionated on the things he’s experienced in.
Everyone gets to decide what their own personal dealbreakers are OP, at the end of the day does he make you unhappy? Then there’s your answer.
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