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Huh. I thought OP's adult son did not get along at all with the abusive ex-boyfriend. I guess I had it wrong. Maybe there was just discord at the end.
OP is now Not A Member, which is no surprise. But if she happens to read this: you really have to block him from reaching out to you. For your own good, and for the good of your new relationship (glad that's still going well - I assume he paid you back for the train tickets). Doesn't it stress you out to have him contacting you? Just cut him out. He was abusive. He doesn't deserve to have any of your attention. Be happy, be free.
I don’t want to be a jerk about this since we were together for a long time but: 1. I don’t see myself back with him too 2. I am seeing someone new and don’t think it’s right to communicate with my ex 3. I don’t trust his motives and 4. I don’t want to be harassed if that’s what this is. What should I do?
You need to communicate this to him. Without telling him your intentions you’re allowing him to “harass” you.
Stop sitting in the fence and inform the other party of your intentions. Without doing so you’re leaving the door open to him and just praying he gets the message and goes away eventually.
Stop contact.Period! What is so hard about this? You don't owe this person anything.You were being cordial to him YET he thought it was ok to meet your son (without your knowledge until later)..who does that?! Creepy and crossing boundaries. Just block him and before you do so,tell him you wish him a good life and for him to move on...then block him.Enough.Yes, it is not cool for you to continue contact with your ex while not dating someone new.This new guy doesn't deserve that.
Stop contact.Period! What is so hard about this? You don't owe this person anything.You were being cordial to him YET he thought it was ok to meet your son (without your knowledge until later)..who does that?! Creepy and crossing boundaries. Just block him and before you do so,tell him you wish him a good life and for him to move on...then block him.Enough.Yes, it is not cool for you to continue contact with your ex while not dating someone new.This new guy doesn't deserve that.
I'm glad someone finally said this. OP, I think he's hanging out with your son in order to get information about you. That is super-creepy, super-manipulative. Ugh. Anyone going to that length may not give up without a fight of some sort. Brace yourself for the worst, but hope that blocking him will take care of it. You'll have to get your son on board with this, too.
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