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My guideline and finish line IS "you do you." Not someone else telling me, "you do me." My guideline is, "is it what I want?" and my finish line is, "am I happy living my life this way?" I'm relieved I grew up at a time when it's more accepted for a person to live the way they want to and that works best for them, without so many people telling them they're wrong because there's a "life script" and they need to follow that one narrow path.
That's how you end up with people miserable in marriages with a bunch of kids they never actually wanted, who possibly gave up what they really wanted in life to do "what you are supposed to do"...
I would’ve missed out on the most important thing that happened in my life though, if I hadn’t thought I was “suppose to” get married and have a baby. I’d be looking back now wondering if I should have. I really didn’t want to get married. That’s what I meant.
Yeah, it's kind of like asking, "Is it normal to eat food sometimes?" or "Is it normal to have an itch to scratch?"
Although, in this context, I can't help but wonder why someone would ask this kind of question, but I think the headline should be, "Do some people just not think they are relationship bound?"
Well, yes. Why would it be abnormal? If it wasn't normal, nobody'd ever bother to find a relationship, would they?
In my case I find it abnormal because rationally I know that I shouldn't and won't have a relationship. I don't know why my mind would linger around these thoughts when it knows that's not meant to happen.
In my case I find it abnormal because rationally I know that I shouldn't and won't have a relationship. I don't know why my mind would linger around these thoughts when it knows that's not meant to happen.
How on earth do you "know" this? What makes you so special that you can predict the outcome of your life before your brain is even finished developing?
"Primal" was a good word for what you describe. It is a biological urging towards finding someone to go through life with.
I say: nobody says you have to start actively dating, but don't write off the possibilities, either. The feelings you've been having may be a sign that you're ready to give it a try, so just stay open to the possibility. You may meet someone in the next year whom you have a connection with. If that happens, just try not to say to yourself "But I'm not the kind of person who dates." Let things develop naturally. See what happens.
In my case I find it abnormal because rationally I know that I shouldn't and won't have a relationship. I don't know why my mind would linger around these thoughts when it knows that's not meant to happen.
Because we're wired by biology and society (hard to know which is more prevalent) to pair up?
We're heavily influence biologically (for sex and reproduction) and socially (monogamy/marriage/nobility) to pair up. But the fact we KNOW the reasoning behind it, allows us to decide whether or not it's right for us.
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