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How do you know for sure he loves you? You ARE his rebound relationship (those rarely, if ever, last), or he could just be using you, because you're there, close by. You're convenient. When you're 40 and still looking sharp and are full of energy, do you want to be married to a 60-year-old about to retire, with ED issues?
It says a lot about his lack of integrity that he'd begin an affair with one of his employees. However, if you're serious and want to see if he's serious, do the right thing, and find a job outside his company. If he loves you, he'll give you a good recommendation, and will help you get that new job.
And btw, what do you think would happen to your current job, if there's a falling-out with him at some point? You can bet, that at that point, you wouldn't get a positive recommendation, when you're suddenly unemployed.
I doubt it will last. Not because of the age difference, but because you are only 21. That aside, neither of you made a good decision as he is your boss. Find a new job. There's a saying about not pooping where you eat. For future relationships avoid dating in your work place.
Enjoy the fling now for what it is but give yourself time to finish growing up.
I second this.
OP, I was you at your age. When I was 19, I began a relationship with a guy (also someone I worked with) who was 37. He'd never been married.
I remember feeling the way I think you're feeling. The excitement of being with a grown, adult guy, not a boy. Someone who had more life experience, was educated, intelligent, owned his own home, etc. In some ways, your attraction to this guy is kind of natural at this stage of your life.
But your infatuation with him won't last, as much as you think you'll "love" him forever. It might go well for a year or two, maybe a little longer, but I promise you you'll start to outgrow him. And men closer to your own age will eventually begin to be much more attractive to you.
I know this might sound impossible right now, that you you can't imagine not "loving" him, but there will likely come a point in your life when you'll look back at this and ask yourself, what in the world was I thinking?
As BB says, enjoy the fling, but don't tie yourself down. You have too much life to live, too much fun to have, and too much learning about yourself to do.
The OP is 21 and has no life experience yet. Dude is 41, filed for divorce and is having a good time with a young babe.
Plus he is her boss. That’s is very wrong. I think it’s different if he is not her boss. But he should know better, this is a form of sexual harassment at work. Why do young women still think this is ok. It was never ok when I was younger. Let alone now with all the #metoo movement.
The OP is 21 and has no life experience yet. Dude is 41, filed for divorce and is having a good time with a young babe.
I think this post by moon girl was very insightful;
Quote:
Originally Posted by moongirl00;
OP I think he is taking advantage of you. When I was 20 I ended up getting into a relationship with a 37 year old man. My family knew and they didnt like it, but I was an adult so they couldnt forbid it. I didnt understand what the big deal was.
Now I understand. That relationship is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I know now I was essentially being molested the whole time. Though I was a consenting adult, his extra life experience and relationship savvy put me at a severe disadvantage.
And in the OP's case, this is her boss! He has leverage over her, which is why this type of relationship is considered highly unethical. He went into this probably thinking, that she couldn't turn him down, even if she wanted to. That's taking advantage not only of someone's naivety and lack of strength to assert herself, but also of her status as a subordinate to him.
Someone in another discussion used the word "predatory" to describe this type of relationship, where the one initiating it holds all the cards, whether it's a predatory clergy person, an employer or supervisor, or a professor with his students. That really puts the matter into perspective, IMO.
The test of this relationship may well be whether he supports her getting a job elsewhere, to give the relationship at least a smidge more legitimacy. He may prefer the situation as it is, assuming she'll be reluctant to break up if/when compatibility or other issues arise.
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