My guy friend contacted me again..... (girl, family, 2015, call)

[Raena77]

Long story short this guy never makes me his priority totally, but we were friends since 2015. He made it clear that he just wanted to be friends but sends many crazy signals out that he wants more.
Well things went crazy with me getting a new job and I canceled my summer plans with him. Meanwhile he was there for me during my stress with my new job.
Then I noticed he does this distance thing, then calls to hang out all of a sudden, then decides not to, disappears and later I find out he's in a realationship. Mother effer he was just talking to me!!! Then I was tired of his nonsense blocked him.

Now that was nice not to have his darn drama for a month. Suddenly he then texted me Saturday, he urgently needs to talk to me. I blocked him on social media. I'm stupid and unblock him. Then in front of others on social media he asks

"Raena why wont you talk to me??" Me being either stupid or a softie I listen to what he has to say. He broke up with his realationship and a coworker passed away.

I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment because in the past I told him that I had feelings for him. He told me he just wants to be friends.(I know how you men feel)
I'm literally just a buddy for emotion support.....meanwhile I'm the one that feels like crap again.
Mainly because I do care and will be more than likely dropped like a hat again.....why do people like me do this to ourselves? Why doesn't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want me?

[mascoma]

If he's making you feel bad just tell him then block him. You call yourself a sucker for punishment, so just stop being one.

[Raena77]

Yep you are correct.

[moongirl00]

As a fellow softie, I get it.

But you must stop letting your emotions overrule your logic. You know he's not good for you, so block him.

[Raena77]

Yeah I need to stop letting him back into my life.

[D217]

Is this primarily an online thing, or do you know eachother IRL?


I guess I'm wondering if there are "benefits" to this friendship..or just strictly platonic for 5 years

[Daffodil_fields]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Why doesn't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want me?

That's it right there. Do you have romantic feelings for this guy? Be honest (with yourself).

Or, do you feel slightly rejected, hurt... that he doesn't have romantic feelings for you? Even if you don't feel that way toward him.

It sounds to me that he is just a friend. And, he disappeared because he had met a girl he was interested in and was seeing her for a little while, then things didn't work out with her, and he wanted to talk to you... as a friend, because you're his friend.

I'm just not clear what you are upset about regarding him?

[bobman]

My 10c, stop contemplating his reasoning and start contemplating yours.

Block him again and be strong
It's all too easy to get sucked in by people like this, been there, done that, got that t shirt.

Think of this incident as a reminder of why you blocked him in the first place, print out your post and pin it to the fridge, if you are ever tempted to unblock him again, read it a time or two.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Long story short this guy never makes me his priority totally, but we were friends since 2015. He made it clear that he just wanted to be friends but sends many crazy signals out that he wants more.
Well things went crazy with me getting a new job and I canceled my summer plans with him. Meanwhile he was there for me during my stress with my new job.
Then I noticed he does this distance thing, then calls to hang out all of a sudden, then decides not to, disappears and later I find out he's in a realationship. Mother effer he was just talking to me!!! Then I was tired of his nonsense blocked him.

Now that was nice not to have his darn drama for a month. Suddenly he then texted me Saturday, he urgently needs to talk to me. I blocked him on social media. I'm stupid and unblock him. Then in front of others on social media he asks

"Raena why wont you talk to me??" Me being either stupid or a softie I listen to what he has to say. He broke up with his realationship and a coworker passed away.

I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment because in the past I told him that I had feelings for him. He told me he just wants to be friends.(I know how you men feel)
I'm literally just a buddy for emotion support.....meanwhile I'm the one that feels like crap again.
Mainly because I do care and will be more than likely dropped like a hat again.....why do people like me do this to ourselves? Why doesn't he just leave me alone if he doesn't want me?

You have a really bad habit of being human and trying to see the best in people you have a connection to. This connection has never had any just conclusion so you reopen yourself up in a quest to get that conclusion and throw the caution caused by the history of this connection to the wind. I get it. You don’t want to put the old sick dog down but keeping him alive because you can’t deal with him being just gone and moving on just prolongs the inevitable and potentially puts the other dogs on the farm at risk for being compromised by the sickness.

[Raena77]

Originally Posted by D217

Is this primarily an online thing, or do you know eachother IRL?


I guess I'm wondering if there are "benefits" to this friendship..or just strictly platonic for 5 years

No I know him in real life. He's from my neighborhood and friends with mutual friends. We had benefits in the beginning but no more. I helped him through hard times, with family, shopped together for a picnic we were invited to, went out to dinners and did fun things with friends but we came together in his car. I think it's me giving in and hoping for the better. But he isn't innocent either.