Are women as visually stimulated as men? (dating, wife, marriage)
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I shake my head a little at the idea that if a woman likes casual sex, then it must be that she is drawn by looks. It's the same thing I've seen where, "Well, how else would you decide what stranger to approach in a club? You must be drawn to their looks!"
Not necessarily, no. I cannot speak for most/all women, but I guarantee I'm not the only one whose brain works a different way. If I am looking over a room full of strangers, I am more apt to approach and talk to ones who signal some common interest, usually with what they are wearing, or I see an opening to initiate conversation based on something that I can see. Regardless if that person is average, or hot looking. In fact the extremely good looking people, I will rarely talk to, as I figure that they're so used to getting hit on, they will assume I have an agenda, and they might be snobby, fake, pretentious or superficial besides. Initially, my agenda isn't mate seeking even if I'm available, it's CONVERSATION. The mental diversion to be found in a brand new "let's exchange ideas" session.
And I'll talk to pretty much anyone, though as I mention above, who I select to talk to if I'm choosing might steer away from extremes in appearance. Others might select me, and unless I get a vibe I don't like off them, I'll chat with anybody who tries to talk to me.
It is only then, during that exchange, that I can think about or decide if I am attracted enough to consider sex with them, if they are interested and willing. I've had plenty of casual sex in my life, yet most of my partners were very average looking people, and I was not selecting them mainly on the grounds of looks. Pretty appearances don't arouse me, even if I sometimes enjoy the looking...like I enjoy looking at beautiful art, sunsets, landscapes, and tigers at the zoo, but it doesn't make my ladyparts tingle, nor my mind wander to sex acts. Only conversational interaction gets me going like that.
Or even, in the case of my celebrity crush Jeff Goldblum, my interest in him came about from watching video interviews and reading things he has said. He is one hell of a character, and it's that character that hooked me. I wasn't into him in his Jurassic Park days.
Again, I know I'm no representative of "women in general" but I also know that I'm not the only woman who is like this.
I cannot imagine anything I could possibly watch on a screen that would trigger arousal to a point of inspiring me to "be in my bunk." That kind of mindset just happens on its own, usually when I'm trying to focus on something I find incredibly boring and my brain apparently has decided we've had quite enough and will now think of something else.
I'm saying that aesthetically, men don't take as much care with their appearance (or their health) so weight, clothing, shaving, teeth, cleanliness...all affect their appearance and are things women often need to be prepared to look past, to a degree otherwise the pickings are pretty slim. Whether general slobbishness is learned because men have figured out they don't have to care how they look to get women is a topic for discussion.
Very true.
But, as I said upthread, men who think they don't have to care about how they look in order to get a woman do themselves no favors.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 06-05-2020 at 04:15 PM..
I think guys (oh, not ALL guys) are dumb to get all hot and bothered over women they'll never get anyway - like going to strip clubs - what's the point? I guess I'm not quite that short sighted...and so why do men bother going out with women they consider "beneath them"? They want the model but they can only score with a "4" - they take the "4" and then put her down and complain to their friends.
Yep. I think this goes back to a common complaint of men, especially here in CD: that women are "too picky," but men are attracted to all kinds of women. I've always been skeptical of this claim.
I think that women are less willing to "settle," because they don't see the point of entering a relationship with a guy they're not really into. As you say, what's the point? They're happier to wait until a more suitable guy comes along.
Men, on the other hand, as you say, are more likely to jump into a relationship with someone they're not really into because it's better than nothing, because it beats being alone, because at least they're getting (regular) sex, etc.
They're happy to stay with her until something "better" comes along. The possibility that the other partner might be hurt at the end of that relationship, that the breakup could be messy, etc, doesn't seem to cross their minds.
I find it unfortunate that women will never know the sexual drive of wide open, unrelenting testosterone.
They say they understand...pffffffff...HAHAHAHAAAHAAA!!!!
This is what you tell yourself?
For casual sex, which I've never really been into, the guy -- even one with "wide open, unrelenting testosterone" -- would have to be really good-looking, really, really smart, and really funny.
It completely depends on the individual. I've encountered females who are very much only interested in the visual aspects of a man, and as a guy with several female family members I'll say females are more visually interested in men than the media tells everyone, even if not supposedly as much as men are. Also, far from all men are interested in screwing a woman just because of her looks. Maybe a majority are, but I can only speak for myself. In my case I need to know the person's personality, values, attributes and character and trust it completely before I even think about doing anything sexual. Lust is a folly in my book.
Females are having just as much casual sex as males, clearly, and there's obviously going to be mostly lust involved in that, on both sides.
It's generally the younger, immature members of both genders who prioritise visuals over character, as compared with older, wiser people, who are more selective based on character, and it being an innate male/female thing is over-stated.
Last edited by Eman Resu VIII; 06-05-2020 at 05:26 PM..
I shake my head a little at the idea that if a woman likes casual sex, then it must be that she is drawn by looks. It's the same thing I've seen where, "Well, how else would you decide what stranger to approach in a club? You must be drawn to their looks!"
Do you think women's minimum threshold of required attractiveness for a guy is higher for casual sex or for a relationship? In general I think women are more forgiving of a guys appearance if they think its in a long term relationship, are you arguing that isn't true? Whereas I think its the opposite for guys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Not necessarily, no. I cannot speak for most/all women, but I guarantee I'm not the only one whose brain works a different way. If I am looking over a room full of strangers, I am more apt to approach and talk to ones who signal some common interest, usually with what they are wearing, or I see an opening to initiate conversation based on something that I can see. Regardless if that person is average, or hot looking. In fact the extremely good looking people, I will rarely talk to, as I figure that they're so used to getting hit on, they will assume I have an agenda, and they might be snobby, fake, pretentious or superficial besides. Initially, my agenda isn't mate seeking even if I'm available, it's CONVERSATION. The mental diversion to be found in a brand new "let's exchange ideas" session.
And I'll talk to pretty much anyone, though as I mention above, who I select to talk to if I'm choosing might steer away from extremes in appearance. Others might select me, and unless I get a vibe I don't like off them, I'll chat with anybody who tries to talk to me.
It is only then, during that exchange, that I can think about or decide if I am attracted enough to consider sex with them, if they are interested and willing. I've had plenty of casual sex in my life, yet most of my partners were very average looking people, and I was not selecting them mainly on the grounds of looks. Pretty appearances don't arouse me, even if I sometimes enjoy the looking...like I enjoy looking at beautiful art, sunsets, landscapes, and tigers at the zoo, but it doesn't make my ladyparts tingle, nor my mind wander to sex acts. Only conversational interaction gets me going like that.
Ok that is definitely a big difference between you and me and possibly between men and women.
There are definitely women I can connect with because we have built great rapport and who are just a lot of fun to hang out with, and that is probably the vast majority of women. But there are a few women who are just I works of art, that make me stupid.
I remember working in a book store and there was this Japanese girl who came in who I managed to talk into going for a burrito with me who I think just wanted to practice her English on me. It was immaterial matter what she said because she really couldn't speak English very well at all. I still think of her alabaster skin, crimson lips and just the way she moved like a samba. I am still smitten today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
Or even, in the case of my celebrity crush Jeff Goldblum, my interest in him came about from watching video interviews and reading things he has said. He is one hell of a character, and it's that character that hooked me. I wasn't into him in his Jurassic Park days.
Again, I know I'm no representative of "women in general" but I also know that I'm not the only woman who is like this.
Fair point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newdixiegirl
Yep. I think this goes back to a common complaint of men, especially here in CD: that women are "too picky," but men are attracted to all kinds of women. I've always been skeptical of this claim.
I think that women are less willing to "settle," because they don't see the point of entering a relationship with a guy they're not really into. As you say, what's the point? They're happier to wait until a more suitable guy comes along.
Men, on the other hand, as you say, are more likely to jump into a relationship with someone they're not really into because it's better than nothing, because it beats being alone, because at least they're getting (regular) sex, etc.
They're happy to stay with her until something "better" comes along. The possibility that the other partner might be hurt at the end of that relationship, that the breakup could be messy, etc, doesn't seem to cross their minds.
I think women vet men before they agree to sleep with them. I think men vet women afterwards. I think that is also driven partially by our biology (it can be done volitionally as well and I know that sucks for women when that happens but I am talking about something different here). What I mean is a lot of guys aren't doing this with the purpose of intentionally trying to manipulate women. There have been a few women who I really didn't see who the really were until after I had sex with and my mindset here wasn't I want to hit and quit it going into it. But some of the things that she did, that annoyed me after we had sex, didn't even show up on my radar until after we had done the deed. I mean there was this one girl who was untrustworthy, but my mind looked right past her misdeeds that I should have caught earlier but didn't and I am thinking the narrative that I created for her clouded my judgement here. But after we were having sex regularly well I started seeing her for who she was and I realized okay. I need to end this.
Well if your “unrelenting testosterone” would last more than a minute or two..... we might.
Need some aloe for the burn. And some lidocaine for the premature exuberance.
Are women visual? Yes, as far as I can tell. However, I presume a picture of the trouser trout isn’t an aid in stimulation. Just a hunch.
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