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I really do feel like I am cursed with interpersonal relationships. I do not have any friends, I have surely been wronged & never had an actual relationship. I feel like most women get attention from guys, they don’t even have to do anything to show interest. They just go about their day & love/potential suitors find them. I have tried the dating apps & have more negative than positive experiences. Hence, I have to use dating apps because of my inability to have a social life & get approached by a decent guy in person. I have tried the paid & free apps. I must say, paid does not necessarily mean any better in my life. When I have spoken to guys on the free app, I get noticed by the wrong ones. The ones I don’t find attractive always show interest & when I do get noticed by the good looking ones, they’re not the nicest. I feel like I’m cursed, I’m told I’m attractive. So you’d think I would have them wrapped around my finger but clearly not the case. I just don’t have the confidence to approach someone & I don’t think I should need to, considering most women don’t have to approach men.
Is the issue me or are men just this trashy?
From how you described things, it sounds like the problem here is you, more than the app. A relationship is a more involved version of a friendship. The things that are keeping you from making friends likely are going to keep you from forming a relationship too. I would take some time off dating and just spend some time getting
If you show a lot of skin, you probably can find some guy who will agree to have sex with you. But I also suspect the things that are keeping you from having any friends are also going to be the thing that keep you from finding longer term relationships.
You might also benefit from time with a shrink to help you figure out why you are having problem making friends.
Hey, look at that. I get to give the exact same advice to a woman, that I do to men who talk this way.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how "attractive" looking you are, if your personality, character, and/or attitude are bad. Granted, a lifetime of loneliness and disappointment can make a person cynical or negative, sure. But it's a circular problem. You fail to get what you want, you get salty and sour about it, that attitude seeps into your interface with the world, no one wants to be around it, which means more rejection/loneliness, more salty-sour, more "men/women are trash!", more avoidance from others, ... Round and round it goes.
You know, I wonder if all the guys on here who complain about how they can't get a woman's interest, would date a supposedly good looking woman who literally just complained about men being "trashy." Oh, but that's right, she insists (like the lonely men do) that well...SOME men do want her, but not the good looking ones that she wants.
Bravo, OP, for leveling the playing field.
All I can say is that a sense of frustrated entitlement will get you nothing. You are welcome to want whatever you want in a partner, but ultimately if you're struggling to get it, you either make peace with being alone, you broaden your acceptable criteria filters, and/or you work on self improvement. The guys who come in here with this get told, "hit the gym, bruh" so I guess someone might show up to give you makeup and hair advice or something, but personally I think it's more likely an attitude issue, especially since you say you don't have any friends either.
Are you any fun to be around? If not, then why would anyone want to be around you? Fortunately, that IS something you can change. But you'd have to drop the "surely I've been wronged" attitude and put some effort in. I'm one of those "other women" you complain about, and yes, sometimes men have "approached" me...but it was because I project and display personality traits that they found appealing. It wasn't because I'm gorgeous, I am average looking at best, I think. But I've never had any issue attracting suitable dating prospects, nor friends.
People I meet say that they are drawn to my "energy." That is not some mystical woo-woo nonsense, it's simply my humor, my attitude, how I talk and act. That's the part you need to work on. Maybe some kind of therapy or journaling or something would help...self awareness and mindfulness.
I really do feel like I am cursed with interpersonal relationships. I do not have any friends, I have surely been wronged & never had an actual relationship. I feel like most women get attention from guys, they don’t even have to do anything to show interest. They just go about their day & love/potential suitors find them. I have tried the dating apps & have more negative than positive experiences. Hence, I have to use dating apps because of my inability to have a social life & get approached by a decent guy in person. I have tried the paid & free apps. I must say, paid does not necessarily mean any better in my life. When I have spoken to guys on the free app, I get noticed by the wrong ones. The ones I don’t find attractive always show interest & when I do get noticed by the good looking ones, they’re not the nicest. I feel like I’m cursed, I’m told I’m attractive. So you’d think I would have them wrapped around my finger but clearly not the case. I just don’t have the confidence to approach someone & I don’t think I should need to, considering most women don’t have to approach men.
Is the issue me or are men just this trashy?
Old is difficult and it takes time to find a decent person
Attractiveness does not equal wrapped around your finger. You note that the good looking guys are not the nicest.
Looking at your a few of your previous posts and this one you seem to be very focused on looks. It doesn't seem that focus on appearance is helping you have a happy dating life.
People also pick up on your attitude. The way I read it is that you think you shouldn't have to do anything. Men should be falling at your feet. It's an entitled attitude. That's unattractive to many people.
You might want to think about that and how that's NOT working for you.
My son met his very serious GF on a dating app. They've been together over a year now and are quite happy.
Hey, look at that. I get to give the exact same advice to a woman, that I do to men who talk this way.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how "attractive" looking you are, if your personality, character, and/or attitude are bad. Granted, a lifetime of loneliness and disappointment can make a person cynical or negative, sure. But it's a circular problem. You fail to get what you want, you get salty and sour about it, that attitude seeps into your interface with the world, no one wants to be around it, which means more rejection/loneliness, more salty-sour, more "men/women are trash!", more avoidance from others, ... Round and round it goes.
You know, I wonder if all the guys on here who complain about how they can't get a woman's interest, would date a supposedly good looking woman who literally just complained about men being "trashy." Oh, but that's right, she insists (like the lonely men do) that well...SOME men do want her, but not the good looking ones that she wants.
Bravo, OP, for leveling the playing field.
All I can say is that a sense of frustrated entitlement will get you nothing. You are welcome to want whatever you want in a partner, but ultimately if you're struggling to get it, you either make peace with being alone, you broaden your acceptable criteria filters, and/or you work on self improvement. The guys who come in here with this get told, "hit the gym, bruh" so I guess someone might show up to give you makeup and hair advice or something, but personally I think it's more likely an attitude issue, especially since you say you don't have any friends either.
Are you any fun to be around? If not, then why would anyone want to be around you? Fortunately, that IS something you can change. But you'd have to drop the "surely I've been wronged" attitude and put some effort in. I'm one of those "other women" you complain about, and yes, sometimes men have "approached" me...but it was because I project and display personality traits that they found appealing. It wasn't because I'm gorgeous, I am average looking at best, I think. But I've never had any issue attracting suitable dating prospects, nor friends.
People I meet say that they are drawn to my "energy." That is not some mystical woo-woo nonsense, it's simply my humor, my attitude, how I talk and act. That's the part you need to work on. Maybe some kind of therapy or journaling or something would help...self awareness and mindfulness.
Yeah I think OP's issue is definitely within her attitude. I feel like a large part of the frustration with dating is that people are trying to control a process that is suppose to be natural. Everyday people are bombarded with TV shows about homely people getting makeovers, following dating coaches, and suddenly getting the guy/girl of their dreams and they're hearing all kinds of formulaic advice that will "get them the guy/girl." And that is just not reality. No one ever talks about people working on themselves and learning how to manifest the kind of energy they want to attract. If you want someone you find attractive to to like you, you have to be a person that YOU like. I'm also one of the women she's complaining about, I have little to no interest in dating in general and there's no one I'm interested in at the moment, but I keep finding myself around people who like me. It's VERY interesting. Learning introspection and mastering self reflection are major keys to finding one's own happiness.
For some people they work. I always wonder when someone tells me that he met his soulmate on a dating site. I think that dating sites exist just for fun, nothing serious
For some people they work. I always wonder when someone tells me that he met his soulmate on a dating site. I think that dating sites exist just for fun, nothing serious
Dating is meeting people, until you find someone you want to stay with.
I guess it COULD matter where ya met someone, if it was in an inappropriate place. But overall, what difference does it make? Dating sights make it easier to meet than just walking up to someone. I think it's better than just meeting someone at a bar.
I've had pretty good luck on dating sights. Why can't you meet your soulmate and have it work on on a dating sight?
For some people they work. I always wonder when someone tells me that he met his soulmate on a dating site. I think that dating sites exist just for fun, nothing serious
Meeting people online is the way of the world. Dating sites expose people to dates they'd never have come across in the real world, and if people click, it doesn't really matter how they were introduced. Probably most of the weddings I've been to in the past 10 years have been between people who've met online.
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