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I just had the most bizarre experience this week, and I felt like this would be the best place to share.
So there is a coffeeshop I have gone to somewhat regularly over the past few (or more) years. And there's one person who works there as a senior staffer that I'd see on most visits, we were friendly and made general small talk. At some point we connected on social media - but didn't really interact there.
The bar fell out of my rotation for a while, but before quarantine I managed to add it back in a few times, since I was in that neighborhood.
In the past year or so he has decided to run his own private events, and started inviting me to them (which I totally expect from social media connections). So I thought that was normal. Then he started sending more personal messages, commenting on my Facebook posts or trip photos. I thought it was kinda odd - just because at this point we have been connected for a couple of years and that hadn't happened in the past.
So this week he reached out wanting to meet up for a special coffee tasting as he has a new one he wanted to share/show off and I love specialty coffees.
So in the midst of coordinating this meetup. He asks me about dating. And I thought it was random. And that lead to a convo about casual hookups. And how he often hooks up with people from the coffeeshop.
I had no idea! Now I know why he is so friendly and well known to all the ladies.
I just had the most bizarre experience this week, and I felt like this would be the best place to share.
So there is a coffeeshop I have gone to somewhat regularly over the past few (or more) years. And there's one person who works there as a senior staffer that I'd see on most visits, we were friendly and made general small talk. At some point we connected on social media - but didn't really interact there.
The bar fell out of my rotation for a while, but before quarantine I managed to add it back in a few times, since I was in that neighborhood.
In the past year or so he has decided to run his own private events, and started inviting me to them (which I totally expect from social media connections). So I thought that was normal. Then he started sending more personal messages, commenting on my Facebook posts or trip photos. I thought it was kinda odd - just because at this point we have been connected for a couple of years and that hadn't happened in the past.
So this week he reached out wanting to meet up for a special coffee tasting as he has a new one he wanted to share/show off and I love specialty coffees.
So in the midst of coordinating this meetup. He asks me about dating. And I thought it was random. And that lead to a convo about casual hookups. And how he often hooks up with people from the coffeeshop.
I had no idea! Now I know why he is so friendly and well known to all the ladies.
You probably won’t be the last... your call. ( you’re a big girl lol) If you want to hook up with him go for it. If not it’s a moot question anyway.
I think it's creepy and it's never something I'd do, I let her be the one to make it clear that she was interested that way but whatever, not about me. Do what your gut tells you to do, it's usually right.
I think it's creepy and it's never something I'd do, I let her be the one to make it clear that she was interested that way but whatever, not about me. Do what your gut tells you to do, it's usually right.
Thank you! I don't understand why store staff think, that just because patrons exchange pleasantries politely or cheerfully, that that may mean staff has a chance to start something on a personal level with customers. The customer base is not there to be staff's dating pool.
Does this guy not have a social life, where he can meet women? Does the manager not have a policy prohibiting trying to use the customer base as a potential dating pool? (Many owners/managers do, because it can cause customers uncomfortable with personal come-ons to take their business elsewhere.) In some cases, staffers persist, even when the customer does not engage in conversation, and makes it clear she's not interested. Talk about creepy!
Hopefully, this situation won't become problematic. Keep us posted as to how (if) it resolves.
I think it's creepy and it's never something I'd do, I let her be the one to make it clear that she was interested that way but whatever, not about me. Do what your gut tells you to do, it's usually right.
I do think it is an interesting approach. Honestly, I think he is an interesting guy, not into hookups really. But would be totally fine having an actual friendship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Thank you! I don't understand why store staff think, that just because patrons exchange pleasantries politely or cheerfully, that that may mean staff has a chance to start something on a personal level with customers. The customer base is not there to be staff's dating pool.
Does this guy not have a social life, where he can meet women? Does the manager not have a policy prohibiting trying to use the customer base as a potential dating pool? (Many owners/managers do, because it can cause customers uncomfortable with personal come-ons to take their business elsewhere.) In some cases, staffers persist, even when the customer does not engage in conversation, and makes it clear she's not interested. Talk about creepy!
Hopefully, this situation won't become problematic. Keep us posted as to how (if) it resolves.
I am making assumptions that he is pretty discreet about it. This come-on for me came over Facebook, after several years of being connected. I'll read into his gradual warmup messages over time. I probably seemed like a warm enough contact as we had several getting to know you Facebook conversations in the past (unrelated to coffee). It would have been really weird if it was the first message ever. I probably seemed potentially receptive based on prior conversations.
Seems like he has a fairly large circle, but I guess it is hard to find coffee nerds. :P
That being said, I am kind of an almost overly friendly person. I definitely make enough small talk with workers that makes people feel like we are on the path to being friends. I am a personable patron.
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Do what your gut tells you to do, it's usually right.
