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I'm married but likely getting divorced soon and am thinking ahead to life as a single guy again. I'm wondering if I'll have a hard time finding a match in the future because of lifestyle issues. I would love the *kind* perspective of the group. 1.) I work a full-time job with erratic & often long hours and am starting a consulting practice on the side. My lack of free time can't be a help to building a relationship. 2.) I have young children so I'm putting effort into kiddie care. 3.) When I have free time, I'm pretty outdoorsy/active, a hardcore natural history enthusiast and have little interest in indoor/sedentary activity. 4.) I have a long list of food allergies. Eating out isn't much fun for me so I avoid it as much as possible. However, it's a pretty standard date activity. 5.) While I'm active and reasonably fit, I have autoimmune symptoms and they flare up periodically and have also caused some permanent loss of function. My wife complains bitterly about some of this. 6.) I'm an urbanite and a car free person. I take Uber when I need to but observe that some women evaluate you by whether you own a car and a house. Oh yeah, I'll be renting when I'm separated.
Without changing myself as a person, what should I expect if I resume dating?
I'm married but likely getting divorced soon and am thinking ahead to life as a single guy again. I'm wondering if I'll have a hard time finding a match in the future because of lifestyle issues.
...
Without changing myself as a person, what should I expect if I resume dating?
I'm married but likely getting divorced soon and am thinking ahead to life as a single guy again. I'm wondering if I'll have a hard time finding a match in the future because of lifestyle issues. I would love the *kind* perspective of the group. 1.) I work a full-time job with erratic & often long hours and am starting a consulting practice on the side. My lack of free time can't be a help to building a relationship. 2.) I have young children so I'm putting effort into kiddie care. 3.) When I have free time, I'm pretty outdoorsy/active, a hardcore natural history enthusiast and have little interest in indoor/sedentary activity. 4.) I have a long list of food allergies. Eating out isn't much fun for me so I avoid it as much as possible. However, it's a pretty standard date activity. 5.) While I'm active and reasonably fit, I have autoimmune symptoms and they flare up periodically and have also caused some permanent loss of function. My wife complains bitterly about some of this. 6.) I'm an urbanite and a car free person. I take Uber when I need to but observe that some women evaluate you by whether you own a car and a house. Oh yeah, I'll be renting when I'm separated.
Without changing myself as a person, what should I expect if I resume dating?
Don't expect anything. Try being single. You just now getting out of something don't be in a rush to get back into the fire. When you no longer need someone in your life that's when higher quality people want to be part of it.
If you just have to be in a relationship that gives someone a position in which they can manipulate you.
Outdoorsy is good. Food allergies and autoimmune disease would make you a miserable match, long term. You need to stick with martyrs or figure out how to fix your marriage.
Don't expect anything. Try being single. You just now getting out of something don't be in a rush to get back into the fire. When you no longer need someone in your life that's when higher quality people want to be part of it.
If you just have to be in a relationship that gives someone a position in which they can manipulate you.
Not worried about the other stuff, but I'd pass on someone too busy with their job or kids to put anything into the relationship. There are only so many hours in a day, and sometimes you have to give up some things you would like to do because you just don't have time for everything. For you, "some things" may be a relationship right now.
Is that part of the reason you're "likely getting divorced"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyWest
No doubt plus he's not loyal, already looking out to see what's out there, when he is still married.
Also this. (Still married and not even yet sure he's getting divorced...)
When you say you're likely getting divorced, is that because you are pursuing the divorce, or your spouse is? Your answer has a lot to do with my answer.
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