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the car and apartment thing is less likely an issue in a place like boston where a large percentage of commuters also rely on the t and live in dense three family/condo/apartment buildings.
The only part I'm going to address is the job)kid stuff:
I personally am not looking for someone to spend a ton of time with. I am busy with my job and my kids, and enjoy - no, NEED - alone time. If I meet someone who is busy with work and kids and life, I'm ok with only seeing them once a week or even once every two weeks. I'd appreciate a daily text just to say helloand check in, but lengthy conversations don't have to happen every day. So in summary, I wouldn't be bothered by your lack of time due to work and kids.
I am bothered that you make it sound as though you're only "likely" to get a divorce if you think you can find someone who will have a relationship with you given your 'lifestyle issues'. Sounds like you're going to keep your wife around if you don't think you can find something "better". Not cool.
The only part I'm going to address is the job)kid stuff:
I personally am not looking for someone to spend a ton of time with. I am busy with my job and my kids, and enjoy - no, NEED - alone time. If I meet someone who is busy with work and kids and life, I'm ok with only seeing them once a week or even once every two weeks. I'd appreciate a daily text just to say helloand check in, but lengthy conversations don't have to happen every day. So in summary, I wouldn't be bothered by your lack of time due to work and kids.
I am bothered that you make it sound as though you're only "likely" to get a divorce if you think you can find someone who will have a relationship with you given your 'lifestyle issues'. Sounds like you're going to keep your wife around if you don't think you can find something "better". Not cool.
Let me clarify. I'm not the spouse pushing for a divorce. We argue a lot but the root issues aren't what cite as problems above. Without going off on a tangent. My wife expected when we got a married that I would be a "high earner" like her dad and relatives. We are all in the same profession. Unfortunately, that profession wasn't a fit for me and I had to change career paths. I'm now a mere a corporate bureaucrat with a middle class income. She was pretty angry about it. She does complain about the other issues but they aren't really at the root of our problems. If I was clearing $500k + a year like Dad I'm pretty sure there would be a change of attitude. I asked about lifestyle issues because I'm wondering what to expect from others who may have a problem with me working a ton, being tied up with kids, having medical issues, etc.
When you say you're likely getting divorced, is that because you are pursuing the divorce, or your spouse is? Your answer has a lot to do with my answer.
She is pushing for it. I'm reacting. I still haven't consulted a lawyer but she has at least twice. Her parents have retitled some of her assets to keep them out of a divorce. I'm just starting to thinking about life post-marriage. For example, I took a look at local apartment prices and went into shock.
You are LIKELY getting a divorce? Does that mean you aren't sure? Don't you think you ought to solve that problem before jumping on to the next?
Does your getting a divorce or not depend on our answers on what we think your dating prospects would be?
I say "likely" because my spouse would be the initiator. I wouldn't do that to my kids unless she hits them or something. She has been talking about this for a couple years off and on. I think she is holding off because she 1) fears being a single parent (me too!!!) and 2) she is worried she may fare poorly in a property settlement if there is actually a divorce.
Why don't you wait until after you are divorced (and you handle the aftermath) until you think about dating? You have a lot going on, including small kids that will be affected, and trying to worry about dating and all of that is a bit much, in my opinion.
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