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You know, I've got something ironic floating around in my mind...
So most divorces are initiated by women (we've discussed how that statistic just means she did the filing, but hey whatever)... And most divorced women that I know, I can tell you, feel great about getting out of the marriage. I know a woman who changed her last name to "Free" after her divorce. It's like having a new lease on life.
I know a lot of middle aged women who are very happy single. Some of them would not turn down Mr. Perfect if he showed up, but they are not grumpy about being alone. They do fun things with friends, they live happy lives.
And yet men who would agree with these things yet call them different names, like women being too picky or deluded or whatever it is....seem to also be saying a lot of the time that marriage is just a terrible thing FOR THE MAN.
Sure seems to me like men are the ones wanting it and mad they can't get it and keep it. And it seems to me like it isn't the man for whom marriage is such a terrible idea...it's the woman...at least if stats and anecdotes line up to say the same thing, that she's happier when she's left one.
Oh wait. It's not MARRIAGE that is bad for men. It's DIVORCE.
Honestly all this hypergamy talk that guys get up to... I mean, marriage as it has stood seems a bad deal for women, some men don't want to do anything to change this, and they're big mad that women leave when we're not happy. It is not "realistic" for our expectations to be met? Hm. Sounds more like ya'll don't want to try. It IS possible, you know...happy marriages, and long lasting ones, do exist. I guarantee that the reason they exist is not because the woman was shackled in place unable to leave, or prevented from knowing of the existence of other men, or humbled in her place...more like, two people felt some degree of commitment to one another's happiness. The Mister in those matches, probably ain't no slouch.
Women tell you and tell you what makes us feel unhappy and unfulfilled in marriages. But hey, no, ya'll figure you know better. OK. I guess time will tell how all that works out for ya.
You are arguing semantics here. Divorce is so common these days that it might as well be considered as part of a marriage.
I, personally, think that marriage should be a binding contract that can only be dissolved if one of the parties breaks that contract. Given that marriage vows are so easily broken in today's world, the concept is almost meaningless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjrose
Yeah, sure it's all her fault and she is nothing but a gold digger with a long game.
It's always the womans fault, the man can do no wrong even when they have stated as a couple that they have been working on their relationship and have decided to divorce and they have filed their own separation contract with the court on how the families assets and debts are to be split.
Maybe they just don't work as a couple anymore and want to go forward with their lives.
You're projecting here. I didn't say any of that really.
I'm just saying that, given the factors involved, it is more likely that the divorce is her idea given the substantial benefits that she will likely receive.
The OP seems to be making a lot of assumptions about this divorce announcement and this couple. Maybe he wanted out, maybe they decided that they were no longer compatible who knows. The OP seems to want to blame one party and not the other here without any facts to back it up, even criticizing Melinda for wanting to be known as an individual and not just a billionaires wife.
I agree
I think it's not fair to analyze their marriage. It seems that they worked in it for a long time and kept it intact for as long as they could for the kids sake.
What happened to them is really not our business.
His wife wasn't "nobody" - she was a general manager at Microsoft and later on a partner and active supporter/co-chair and founder of their joint foundation. She is not some gold digger who wants a divorce (we don't know who filed for it) to get rich and famous. She is well educated and successful woman, received many awards and recognitions. Over the years she empowered and encouraged women to contribute more to the economic well-being of societies around the world.
All the bashing speculations about her are out of place.
Yeah, sure it's all her fault and she is nothing but a gold digger with a long game.
It's always the womans fault, the man can do no wrong even when they have stated as a couple that they have been working on their relationship and have decided to divorce and they have filed their own separation contract with the court on how the families assets and debts are to be split.
Maybe they just don't work as a couple anymore and want to go forward with their lives.
i would respect the women more if she didn't get any assets in the divorce or whatever that she owned prior. Bill gates is the one who amassed the fortune not her.
i would respect the women more if she didn't get any assets in the divorce or whatever that she owned prior. Bill gates is the one who amassed the fortune not her.
She quit work to raise their children, she has worked along side of him to start and run their foundation.
It's not like she sat on the couch eating bon bons all day while he slaved away in the mines. It seems that he agrees since they came up with a separation contract with no judge having to rule to give her anything. Maybe he understands how much she contributed to their life and various foundations.
Honestly all this hypergamy talk that guys get up to... I mean, marriage as it has stood seems a bad deal for women, some men don't want to do anything to change this, and they're big mad that women leave when we're not happy. It is not "realistic" for our expectations to be met? Hm. Sounds more like ya'll don't want to try. It IS possible, you know...happy marriages, and long lasting ones, do exist. I guarantee that the reason they exist is not because the woman was shackled in place unable to leave, or prevented from knowing of the existence of other men, or humbled in her place...more like, two people felt some degree of commitment to one another's happiness. The Mister in those matches, probably ain't no slouch.
Women tell you and tell you what makes us feel unhappy and unfulfilled in marriages. But hey, no, ya'll figure you know better. OK. I guess time will tell how all that works out for ya.
Honestly, that's the odd thing about these guys who are so vehemently against divorce. Like, they don't care that the partner that they've chosen for life is unhappy? And if she is unhappy, it has to be for silly, frivolous reasons that don't matter, so she needs to take her lumps and just stay unhappy forever? That alone is reason to part from someone who doesn't care about their well being. A marriage is a choice that a couple makes, every day.
As for the Gates, they both seem to be sensible, responsible people. If they don't want to be married any more, and have separated amicably and without fanfare, then good for them.
When I was younger and naive I believed in the idea that you will eventually find your soul mate get married have kids and its happily ever after. Now from my own experiences with women and hearing about people's stories and experiences, the news etc. I am starting to not believe it anymore. I am starting to get a very negative view of women in the dating realm especially in the western world.
So then don't date. Problem solved. There is no need to go on about other people you have never even met, whose personal business you are not privy to, and whose lives are really none of your business. If you let what other people say and do be your barometer for judging the worthiness of something like marriage, you are not mature enough for marriage, anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
You know, I've got something ironic floating around in my mind...
So most divorces are initiated by women (we've discussed how that statistic just means she did the filing, but hey whatever)... And most divorced women that I know, I can tell you, feel great about getting out of the marriage. I know a woman who changed her last name to "Free" after her divorce. It's like having a new lease on life.
I know a lot of middle aged women who are very happy single. Some of them would not turn down Mr. Perfect if he showed up, but they are not grumpy about being alone. They do fun things with friends, they live happy lives.
And yet men who would agree with these things yet call them different names, like women being too picky or deluded or whatever it is....seem to also be saying a lot of the time that marriage is just a terrible thing FOR THE MAN.
Sure seems to me like men are the ones wanting it and mad they can't get it and keep it. And it seems to me like it isn't the man for whom marriage is such a terrible idea...it's the woman...at least if stats and anecdotes line up to say the same thing, that she's happier when she's left one.
Oh wait. It's not MARRIAGE that is bad for men. It's DIVORCE.
Honestly all this hypergamy talk that guys get up to... I mean, marriage as it has stood seems a bad deal for women, some men don't want to do anything to change this, and they're big mad that women leave when we're not happy. It is not "realistic" for our expectations to be met? Hm. Sounds more like ya'll don't want to try. It IS possible, you know...happy marriages, and long lasting ones, do exist. I guarantee that the reason they exist is not because the woman was shackled in place unable to leave, or prevented from knowing of the existence of other men, or humbled in her place...more like, two people felt some degree of commitment to one another's happiness. The Mister in those matches, probably ain't no slouch.
Women tell you and tell you what makes us feel unhappy and unfulfilled in marriages. But hey, no, ya'll figure you know better. OK. I guess time will tell how all that works out for ya.
I am one of those middle-aged women who is very happy single. My own experience--see that, OP? my own experience--is that I enjoy living alone and doing what I want when I want to, without having to worry about compromising with someone else or worry about someone else's feelings and needs.
As for divorce being worse for men, that trope is old and inaccurate. Studies have shown again and again that women bear the financial brunt of divorce.
Marriage AND divorce are FAR riskier socioeconomic propositions for most Western women. That is why I would not remarry, even if I wanted a relationship. Also, divorced men are far more likely to remarry than divorced women. That is evidence of how NOT bad marriage is for men if so many want to do it again.
Likewise, the concept of "hypergamy" is quite silly. Given a choice between falling in love with and marrying a rich person and falling in love with and marrying a poor person, most HUMANS would choose falling in love with and marrying a rich person. That includes men.
Furthermore, one very big reason the age for a first marriage is rising is that young women now have their own means, through their own work and careers, and would like an equal partner who brings something other than his wallet and the other thing in his pants, because young women can make their own money and they can get sex anywhere if they want it. They aren't going to marry someone unless there is a true partnership in which to build a life, a home, and a family.
As for initiating divorce, yes, that is really more about who files the paperwork than anything else. I divorced in 2005 but if I waited for my ex-husband to do it, I'd still be married.
Sonic makes great points about women leaving when they are not happy. That, too. But it often takes a lot for them to get to that point, especially if they have children, because they worry about providing stability for the kids and often will sacrifice their own inner happieness for their children.
At any rate, OP, if you don't think dating and marriage are good ideas, don't do it. The world will be okay with you not dating and marrying anyone, just like it's okay with me not dating and remarrying.
She quit work to raise their children, she has worked along side of him to start and run their foundation.
It's not like she sat on the couch eating bon bons all day while he slaved away in the mines. It seems that he agrees since they came up with a separation contract with no judge having to rule to give her anything. Maybe he understands how much she contributed to their life and various foundations.
Yes, we don't know how much of being married to her influenced their wealth.
There is a saying that :
behind every successful man there stands a woman.
A man's achievements are often made possible by the support and work of their wife or female partner.
We don't really know her role in his drive on a daily basis. She wasn't stay at home wife. From her altruism to her social entrepreneurship to her desire to advance technology worldwide, Melinda's ideas have inspired many and made her a powerhouse figure across the globe.
She was inspired to start the now ~ $50 billion in assets organization after visiting Africa in 1993.
She has led the organization to become the world’s wealthiest charitable foundation.
I am pretty sure she had a big role in their success.
A lot of stuff society (mainly the entertainment media) taught us about relationships is not true. This is not news. Stop idolizing other people's relationships because you have NO IDEA what's going on in them. Let go of the fairy tail and live life in reality. Relationships are a gamble and nothing is guaranteed. You find someone you like and it's mutual, cool. If not, it's not the end of the world. Just live your life and don't worry about it.
Last edited by Auraliea; 05-04-2021 at 04:24 PM..
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