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And I agree with @TashaPosh that telling your SO that is very condescending and mean spirited.
Funny you say that, I remember a friend of mine briefly dated a guy and he was telling her he was very drawn to her despite her being not his "type" and that he didn't even really take notice her of when he first saw her. I thought that was so backhanded, and I remember being offended for her. I mean fine if he felt that way, but he should've never have verbalized to her that he didn't take notice of her when he first met her or that she wasn't his type.
As a guy who was married to a Chinese woman before my divorce about 5 years ago (married 15 years)- you are dreaming if you think that's how they are... Quite the opposite, actually...
Oh...THAT I truly believe! :-) But there are a lot of men who THINK they're getting a subservient sweet young thing...and then find out different. LOL
I have a type also, but I have dated women who didn't appear to be my type. I guess you could say I have certain preferences more than a specific type. The only consistent thing for me is that a woman is healthy, a little physically fit, and a non-smoker. Other than that I'm pretty flexible.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
I think the issue is that many people gain physical attraction because a person has the right other characteristics that you mention. I’m more likely to be attracted by someone who is super smart/witty than I am just by someone’s physical appearance. A person can be “handsome” just because he has a certain type of charisma that draws people, even if the guy isn’t at all physically attractive in a conventional sense.
Ita! Having a physical type that we are normally attracted to doesn’t mean that you are attracted to them if they bring nothing else AND Ita about charisma too. BUT if I wasn’t physically attracted to a man or I didn’t think he was handsome, I wouldn’t have gone on a 1st date with him...even if I knew he was smart. I never understood anybody that expected physical attraction to grow with time or expected a lot of physical intimacy without being attracted to their partner. It makes no sense to me. IMO it may decline as time goes by...so why start without it?
Don’t settle for anything but your type....or it will always be in the back of your mind IMO. I’ve heard a couple of my friends at work say..(after breaking up.)..”he wasn’t my type anyway”. So why were you dating? It seems like settling.
I think the issue is that many people gain physical attraction because a person has the right other characteristics that you mention. I’m more likely to be attracted by someone who is super smart/witty than I am just by someone’s physical appearance. A person can be “handsome” just because he has a certain type of charisma that draws people, even if the guy isn’t at all physically attractive in a conventional sense.
Yup. I've never been involved with a guy who made me say "WOWZA!" as soon as I saw him. They were just average-looking guys. But the person they were made me see the beauty in them and made me all too happy to jump their bones. I've also known plenty of men who were nice to look at but once I knew what they were like, I was done. Attraction is not just physical, at least not for everyone. And not everyone goes out with people they don't already know.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I dated outside my type and it was just as fruitless as waiting for someone who is my type. If I’m going to waste time either way, I’d rather wait for someone who is my type.
The trouble is that we all think we KNOW who our type is and that that type wont change as we change. Are we really considering that we dont grow in understanding ourselves with each new relationship we jump into? Of course we do.
So, for everyone who says they will not move outside their type...you are kidding yourselves that you know what your type is, and projecting that probably old and outdated vision on the people you meet. You are shooting yourself in the foot each time you reject someone who is not your type.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182
This new woman he's dating is extremely petite and Asian, I'll admit I know nothing of her personality or anything, but I was a bit shocked that he was dating someone so much on the opposite end of his "type" and I even recall him telling me he was not attracted to Asian women.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182
I disagreed with her and said there are plenty of people who are married to people that are not at all their types.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocpaul20
The trouble is that we all think we KNOW who our type is and that that type wont change as we change. Are we really considering that we dont grow in understanding ourselves with each new relationship we jump into? Of course we do.
So, for everyone who says they will not move outside their type...you are kidding yourselves that you know what your type is, and projecting that probably old and outdated vision on the people you meet. You are shooting yourself in the foot each time you reject someone who is not your type.
Our type doesn’t have to be rigid....BUT that’s totally different than what the O.P. was talking about. She said that a lot of ppl marry somebody that is “not their type at all”.^^ That makes no sense IMO. If you married them, doesn’t that make them your type?
AND..it’s also totally different than the O.P. saying her ex isn’t attracted to Asian women & now he’s dating one. Ppl don’t change preferences like that easily IMO. That’s not talking about super small stuff like a few years age difference or the color of somebody’s hair. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He is the type to run into a burning building to save a dog
I can 'tell' if someone is a good guy/gal from 50 feet. They are a rare breed. If you end up with one in your life, you will be forever enriched by the relationship.
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It seems like settling.
