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Well I had such a ridiculous date the other day, I thought I should come back for a visit and share!
I matched with a guy online. Seemed ok at the cursory scan of the photos. He sent actually a really good opening line, so I replied back. We exchanged a few getting to know you messages.
I have made a pact with myself in the recent year to be way more open to possibilities in dating. I like meeting new people, and I am always interested in having a good conversation - even if no sparks fly. Talking to new people is super fun for me.
Anyway we exchanged some messages and I agreed to meet the following week for drinks. In the intervening days, things seemed to get a bit strange. He was a little evasive on some questions, but nothing that was like a deal breaker. He just started to seem immature (he was 30 and I am early 40s). I told him, you are too young for me!
So I was like yeah, this guy is a no. But I did promise him a drinks, so I'll just meet up and part ways on friendly terms. He lives in a city that is around a 20 minute drive/25-30 minute subway ride away.
So the day before we were supposed to meet I was like what time, let's firm up the details. And he forgot. I was like crap I could have ignored this whole thing.
So of course he was like oh I am so sorry I didn't confirm the details of course we should meet, blah blah. Anyway I was continuing to be nice, and we were going to meet at a bar close to home for me. So I went.
And in the hours leading up to the date, I just started getting these slightly weird messages. "OMG I saw a robbery when I was going to turn in my job application." And then he would say, oh that question you asked, I will tell you in person.
Then a couple hours later he was like "oh I got to [my city] early, I am checking into my hotel room and then I am going to grab some food.
I was like WTF? Hotel room? Why would you get a hotel room?
So obviously I am getting some weird vibes.
As I am leaving to head to the bar I get a pic from him. He sent a pic of the stain on his shirt. The stain he got while eating dinner before we met. And was like "heheheh I spilled on myself."
I get to the bar, and we do an intro and sit at the bar. He tells me he is really grateful to be there. Then he then tells me he got me a gift. He hands me some kid of aromatherapy gift set. He wanted me to know that he cold take care of me.
And from here, he just starts again telling me he was really grateful to be on the date (he repeated this at least a dozen times). He then tells me about all of the serious health issues he has had in his life. But leaving out random details or anecdotes, saying he will tell me about them later. And then tells me about his terrible faily life, poor relationship with his parents. And then makes a bunch of comments on the stories he plans to tell me later, interspersed with "I'm grateful."
He tries to also ask me if I want food or to go to the movies, because he wants to make sure I can understand that he can buy stuff for me. And he knows the optics of having an older woman taking care of him, so he needs to demonstrate self-sufficiency. And mentions all the stuff he has to tell me later (at the hotel room? I don't know).
Eventually he asks me one question, but cuts me off before I can answer and drones on and on about something. I finish my drink and excuse myself to go home.
He proceeds to tell me he knows I am the one for him because of my aura. He then asks if he can kiss me.
I politely decline. And I head home. By the time I get home (15 minutes later) he has sent me several messages of memes and love stories......
Not that their might be danger just annoyance, sending flowers, gifts etc.
Oh seriously! Yes! He tried to get a bit more info, about where I lived, when I hopped on the bus. I just said nearby! So the only info he has is that I got on a bus, that runs through some of the senses parts of my city and a neighboring one (and who knows if I transferred!). So I am pretty safe from that!
I also purposely spell my name wrong in OLD, because my real spelling pops me up in the 1st or second result.
The guy sounds goofy but I'd bet he's harmless. I think he was just really excited to go on a date with you, and he was trying really hard to impress you.
The hotel thing seems weird although I think his intentions are possibly being misinterpreted. OP, I noticed that your location is Oakland. I am going to guess the guy was concerned about riding the subway at night (after the date). Note that he arrived in Oakland early (likely during daylight). I think the hotel was about safety, not a plan to have sex.
The guy sounds goofy but I'd bet he's harmless. I think he was just really excited to go on a date with you, and he was trying really hard to impress you.
The hotel thing seems weird although I think his intentions are possibly being misinterpreted. OP, I noticed that your location is Oakland. I am going to guess the guy was concerned about riding the subway at night (after the date). Note that he arrived in Oakland early (likely during daylight). I think the hotel was about safety, not a plan to have sex.
I think you are right, he didn't seem scary just overeager! And awkward.
Possibly! But the trains are running till midnight, they are fine, I would ride it till midnight (and have) ... I would just call an uber home from the station - or an uber the whole way home!
I think he wanted to have a (harmless) chat in his hotel room and extend the evening as long as possible. A nearby hotel would be an option over other ideas!
Well I had such a ridiculous date the other day, I thought I should come back for a visit and share!
I matched with a guy online. Seemed ok at the cursory scan of the photos. He sent actually a really good opening line, so I replied back. We exchanged a few getting to know you messages.
I have made a pact with myself in the recent year to be way more open to possibilities in dating. I like meeting new people, and I am always interested in having a good conversation - even if no sparks fly. Talking to new people is super fun for me.
Anyway we exchanged some messages and I agreed to meet the following week for drinks. In the intervening days, things seemed to get a bit strange. He was a little evasive on some questions, but nothing that was like a deal breaker. He just started to seem immature (he was 30 and I am early 40s). I told him, you are too young for me!
So I was like yeah, this guy is a no. But I did promise him a drinks, so I'll just meet up and part ways on friendly terms. He lives in a city that is around a 20 minute drive/25-30 minute subway ride away.
So the day before we were supposed to meet I was like what time, let's firm up the details. And he forgot. I was like crap I could have ignored this whole thing.
So of course he was like oh I am so sorry I didn't confirm the details of course we should meet, blah blah. Anyway I was continuing to be nice, and we were going to meet at a bar close to home for me. So I went.
And in the hours leading up to the date, I just started getting these slightly weird messages. "OMG I saw a robbery when I was going to turn in my job application." And then he would say, oh that question you asked, I will tell you in person.
Then a couple hours later he was like "oh I got to [my city] early, I am checking into my hotel room and then I am going to grab some food.
I was like WTF? Hotel room? Why would you get a hotel room?
So obviously I am getting some weird vibes.
As I am leaving to head to the bar I get a pic from him. He sent a pic of the stain on his shirt. The stain he got while eating dinner before we met. And was like "heheheh I spilled on myself."
I get to the bar, and we do an intro and sit at the bar. He tells me he is really grateful to be there. Then he then tells me he got me a gift. He hands me some kid of aromatherapy gift set. He wanted me to know that he cold take care of me.
And from here, he just starts again telling me he was really grateful to be on the date (he repeated this at least a dozen times). He then tells me about all of the serious health issues he has had in his life. But leaving out random details or anecdotes, saying he will tell me about them later. And then tells me about his terrible faily life, poor relationship with his parents. And then makes a bunch of comments on the stories he plans to tell me later, interspersed with "I'm grateful."
He tries to also ask me if I want food or to go to the movies, because he wants to make sure I can understand that he can buy stuff for me. And he knows the optics of having an older woman taking care of him, so he needs to demonstrate self-sufficiency. And mentions all the stuff he has to tell me later (at the hotel room? I don't know).
Eventually he asks me one question, but cuts me off before I can answer and drones on and on about something. I finish my drink and excuse myself to go home.
He proceeds to tell me he knows I am the one for him because of my aura. He then asks if he can kiss me.
I politely decline. And I head home. By the time I get home (15 minutes later) he has sent me several messages of memes and love stories......
Welcome back and thanks for the lolz
Glad you actually made it home safely, the story was getting kinda creepy there for a minute.. or two hahahah
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
I’d block and run from this dude. Not even a close call. The hotel thing is a red flag for me as well. A hour drive for a date would never phase me to rent a hotel.
I think you are right, he didn't seem scary just overeager! And awkward.
Possibly! But the trains are running till midnight, they are fine, I would ride it till midnight (and have) ... I would just call an uber home from the station - or an uber the whole way home!
I think he wanted to have a (harmless) chat in his hotel room and extend the evening as long as possible. A nearby hotel would be an option over other ideas!
Is it possible he fudged his location and just hopes to live in the area he mentioned? It just seems weird to me. I HAVE stayed in a hotel in Chicago (I live in the suburbs) when friends come to visit on occasion. That said, 99% of the time, I drive or take the train. The area around one train station I used tend to get a bit creepy later in the evening, but if it got too late, I could always call an Uber/Lyft.
Ask yourself one very important question, do you like drama? If you do keep contact otherwise the healthy choice would be to block him.
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