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My BF doesn't like the word "love" because he was badly hurt in the past. He never says he loves me, and in some ways he keeps a distance. But in some ways, he seems very loving.
So we don't use the word "love." I don't know if that even matters. We are both over 65 and neither of us wants to get married. We don't want to be entangled financially, and we don't want to be together all the time. We both need a lot of space.
We like doing certain things together, and we communicate almost every day. It has been about 6 or 7 months so far.
We are opposites in some ways, but we have some things in common.
I think he is actually making an effort to not love me, and maybe he is afraid of being abandoned like he was in the past. I am also trying to not love him too much. I think maybe it's ok to keep some distance from each other, and just let things turn out however it's supposed to eventually.
I don't care about having a relationship. I got involved with him because for some unknown reason I love him. And I guess maybe I do like having a close affectionate relationship, which we do have.
I am wondering if he and I are settling for a less than ideal relationship. Or if, on the other hand, this is an ideal relationship for an older couple that doesn't want too much togetherness.
My BF doesn't like the word "love" because he was badly hurt in the past. He never says he loves me, and in some ways he keeps a distance. But in some ways, he seems very loving.
So we don't use the word "love." I don't know if that even matters. We are both over 65 and neither of us wants to get married. We don't want to be entangled financially, and we don't want to be together all the time. We both need a lot of space.
We like doing certain things together, and we communicate almost every day. It has been about 6 or 7 months so far.
We are opposites in some ways, but we have some things in common.
I think he is actually making an effort to not love me, and maybe he is afraid of being abandoned like he was in the past. I am also trying to not love him too much. I think maybe it's ok to keep some distance from each other, and just let things turn out however it's supposed to eventually.
I don't care about having a relationship. I got involved with him because for some unknown reason I love him. And I guess maybe I do like having a close affectionate relationship, which we do have.
Everyone needs a partner. There are as many types of partnerships as there are people and you have found one that works for you.
I have seen every type of partnership imaginable and so have you, I imagine. Don't be afraid to call each other "my partner" even though you do not live together. I recently read the obituary of a girl I had a crush on back in high school. She had children, it said, and she "leaves a partner of 27 years". She died at age 68.
"Partner". To me, it has a very pleasant ring to it.
I myself feel still feel very uncomfortable using the word "love." I can't even say it to my mom, it makes me feel uneasy. Never told any of my previous girlfriends "I love you" either. I suppose there was love in my relationships, it just wasn't the "lovey dovey" kind.
My BF doesn't like the word "love" because he was badly hurt in the past. He never says he loves me, and in some ways he keeps a distance. But in some ways, he seems very loving.
So we don't use the word "love." I don't know if that even matters. We are both over 65 and neither of us wants to get married. We don't want to be entangled financially, and we don't want to be together all the time. We both need a lot of space.
We like doing certain things together, and we communicate almost every day. It has been about 6 or 7 months so far.
We are opposites in some ways, but we have some things in common.
I think he is actually making an effort to not love me, and maybe he is afraid of being abandoned like he was in the past. I am also trying to not love him too much. I think maybe it's ok to keep some distance from each other, and just let things turn out however it's supposed to eventually.
I don't care about having a relationship. I got involved with him because for some unknown reason I love him. And I guess maybe I do like having a close affectionate relationship, which we do have.
I could search the world over for the "perfect" relationship. Or I could have a nice friendship with a guy who just hates the word "love." For good reasons, by the way.
I think the OP's description of the relationship makes the relationship sound quite good and enjoyable.
I don't understand the critique of 'Don't you deserve better in life?' at all.
I see nothing in the relationship to criticize or diminish.
It sounds enjoyable and both are seniors over age 65 who desire companionship - which can be hard to come by as a senior.
To the OP - I think 6 or 7 months together is way too soon to be saying 'I love you' - people can be together for years without saying 'I love you'. It's not really necessary at all. If the relationship is enjoyable and companionship is accomplished, being in love is not necessary nor is saying 'I love you'.
Also one can enjoy the other person without loving the person or being in love - and the relationship is definitely still worthwhile. Especially being over 65, as you describe you two - when meeting someone compatible and meeting someone to provide companionship can be not an easy task.
I think the OP's description of the relationship makes the relationship sound quite good and enjoyable.
I don't understand the critique of 'Don't you deserve better in life?' at all.
I see nothing in the relationship to criticize or diminish.
It sounds enjoyable and both are seniors ver age 65 who desire companionship - which can be hard to come by as a senior.
To the OP - I think 6 or 7 months together is way too soon to be saying 'I love you' - people can be together for years without saying 'I love you'. It's not really necessary at all. If the relationship is enjoyable and companionship is accomplished, being in love is not necessary nor is saying 'I love you'.
Also one can enjoy the other person without loving the person or being in love - and the relationship is definitely still worthwhile. Especially being over 65, as you describe you two - when meeting someone compatible and meeting someone to provide companionship can be not an easy task.
I agree. I shouldn't worry about whether he loves me or not, especially at this early stage. He acts loving.
I myself feel still feel very uncomfortable using the word "love." I can't even say it to my mom, it makes me feel uneasy. Never told any of my previous girlfriends "I love you" either. I suppose there was love in my relationships, it just wasn't the "lovey dovey" kind.
Love is a word with many meanings. I think if we have physical affection, and we like doing things together, that's a kind of love. Even if he doesn't want to use the word. I know I am not his ideal woman -- his ideal would be a 24 year old fashion model. But he knows he can't get that. And he wants someone he can talk to.
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