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Yeah, but it's easy to walk out of said relationship if crap goes downhill.
Perhaps it depends on your definition of "crap" to begin with, but to me, if "crap goes downhill," it should be easy to walk out. No one signs up for infidelity, domestic violence, emotional abuse, substance use, or reckless spending and financial exploitation.
I will never, EVER support the notion that people should stay in marriages where they are miserable, no matter the cause. It could be as simple as falling out of love with the spouse. If you are unhappy and there is no love there, I consider that to be crap going downhill, too, and people should be able to walk away from that. That marriage makes it so difficult for people to leave bad situations is actually a deterrent, not a selling point, for marriage.
I'm afraid I don't understand. There is no need to compromise on the decor and neatness of my own house when I am the only one who lives there, for example.
Whether I live with someone or not, I do not compromise on my diet, whether I have sex, and whether I will suffer through a sleepless night while he snores away and wakes up refreshed and so on. I will not (and cannot) let anyone interrupt me while I am working unless it is an emergency--and by "emergency" I mean the building is on fire. I would not tolerate a partner attempting to tell me how to spend my money, and as we would not be co-owning anything, there is no need for him to even know such a thing in the first place. Likewise, I would never want or expect a man to compromise on those things for me.
Or are you saying that most partners would want to eventually live together or marry? Perhaps, sure, but it has also not been as common in my life as it appears to be for others. If I do not ever want to marry or live together, I would not get into a relationship with a man who did. I do not commit to a man unless we both know that we want the same things. It is a conversation that takes place, and if he is looking for someone with whom he can eventually live with or marry, then I am not that woman. I need a good bit of time alone. If he needs more time with me than I can give him without jeopardizing my own well-being, then I am not the woman for him.
Where compromise comes into my relationships are things like what we do together on vacation, whose family we see on this holiday or that, etc. The beauty of not marrying or living together is that if your partner does not want to do something you do, you have more space in which to do it yourself another time. For example, I will never eat, cook, or buy meat. If he wants to eat, cook, or buy meat, he can do that all he wants at his house or if we go to a restaurant. If he hates a band I enjoy listening to or does not want to watch a movie I want to watch, I can listen to my music or watch the movie later.
Truly, I love not fighting over the things married or cohabitating couples fight over: money, housework, how often to have friends or relatives over, etc.
BTW, I'm going to rephrase my response to you, because whomever you are, you're a person, and you didn't like it, so...
At the end of the day, we're all people here and that's bigger than whatever we were discussing.
Whatever works for you is great, it just might lessen your odds of finding someone and that is all.
The 40s is too late. It's starts to be a red flag at 34 for me. Typically, the issue is one, two, or a combination of the following
1) Lack of femininity.
2) Let themselves go look wise
3) Generally, not friendly
Number 1 seems to be the common reason. Many made/make the mistake of believing their career success would make them more valuable in the dating game. Unfortunately, they reach 34 and realize it did nothing. All those years of being single has decreased their femininity and increased their bitterness.
The 40s is too late. It's starts to be a red flag at 34 for me. Typically, the issue is one, two, or a combination of the following
1) Lack of femininity.
2) Let themselves go look wise
3) Generally, not friendly
Number 1 seems to be the common reason. Many made/make the mistake of believing their career success would make them more valuable in the dating game. Unfortunately, they reach 34 and realize it did nothing. All those years of being single has decreased their femininity and increased their bitterness.
Agreed with most of that. "You go girl" and implying women can have it all these days is, IMO, not doing them any favors to long-term evolutionary psychology goals. Nor the lies pedaled in mainstream media and pop culture. Women hit that dreaded epiphany phase by c. 28-32 and scramble to be wifed up. Usually doesn't work out too well for anyone at that point.
To the above, the responses are often as not:
1) "I should be loved for who I am, not how I look!"
2) (part and parcel to 1)
3) = entitlement issues, the swipe left culture and immense simping occurring by thirsty guys. There is immense change to the dating landscape past five years or so, not for the better.
Thankfully there exists a huge body of information around these topics, for guys caring to look. They should, pronto. Free, backed by empirical data, etc. I'll pass on all that.
So I’m describing myself with the title. Are these red flags? Would you avoid someone like this? I’ve had some dates ask me why I never married and don’t have kids. One guy even said something like “I bet you had a really bad breakup.” I thought that was an odd statement since I didn’t say that.
Someone on social media said men actually prefer women with children - they see them as more nurturing.
Are these red flags for you when dating?
They were never red flags for me until I recently became aware of attachment theory - I read that men above a certain age (I think 35/40 ish) are unlikely to marry if not married. I wonder if they had difficulty with attachments now. I do think it’s different for men vs women based on what I read.
Never married? No kids. 40s?
Redflags, you ask? No, not really, not by itself.
Would I avoid someone like that? No.
I dated two amazing women in the past, 38 and 39 who were single, never married with no kids. They were two of the best, smartest, classiest, most accomplished/successful, caring, emotionally intelligent, drama-free women, I ever dated, other than my current wonderful gf (31).
I really don't see how no marriage/no kids could raise any concerns by themselves and I don't think it means attachment issues, by themselves, not necessarily. Plenty of married people have attachment issues, by the way. It could even mean this person (by "this person" I mean anyone with the same situation) is choosey/cautious in regard to who they want to settle down with and won't jump into something without a lot of time to see that the person really is "the one".
Who I thought I would avoid is anyone over 30 who has no experience with any kind of long(er) serious relationship. But even then, I would see the maturity level of the person.
The 40s is too late. It's starts to be a red flag at 34 for me. Typically, the issue is one, two, or a combination of the following
1) Lack of femininity.
2) Let themselves go look wise
3) Generally, not friendly
Number 1 seems to be the common reason. Many made/make the mistake of believing their career success would make them more valuable in the dating game. Unfortunately, they reach 34 and realize it did nothing. All those years of being single has decreased their femininity and increased their bitterness.
Hilarious! Did it ever occur to you, that women choose their careers according to their own abilities and interests, rather than as a marketing enhancement for dating? And being on a professional career track means zilch regarding femininity. By that line of reasoning, working as a cashier, bus driver, electrician or office gopher allows women a fuller expression of their femininity. LMAO!
"Let themselves go, lookswise"? These are cliches, not reality. Your list makes you sound like you have no experience with the category of women you're attempting to describe. I can only guess, that they're avoiding you like the plague due to obvious attitude issues, or that you simply haven't been able to gain entry to the workplace or social circles, that would allow you to see, that they're just regular folks. .
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I have the feeling that "decrease their femininity" is bro code for "decreasing their naivete".
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Are these red flags? Would you avoid someone like this? I’ve had some dates ask me why I never married and don’t have kids. One guy even said something like “I bet you had a really bad breakup.” I thought that was an odd statement since I didn’t say that. 
