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I’m not sure what being male female has to do with it. In either case it’s a privacy breach and I wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone,whether I’m dating them or not. I’d maybe give them a second chance but how they react to my telling them their behavior is unacceptable would determine if we move forward.
Oh, and welcome to c-d.
I have had two women send me messages from the guy’s email/phone… in neither case was anything remotely romantic happening with the guy. I have no idea how it worked out from the girlfriend’s perspective since it is safe to say I was not interested in having any more interactions with either guy after that. I think one read through like the entire text history. I had been friends with the guy for several years before they even met, so that was a whole lot of texts!
I just wanted to ask what would your reaction be if your girlfriend asked to use your phone e.g. to video something as her memory was full and then you noticed she looked at your messages.
Would it be a problem?
What would you say or do?
I just want to compare that to the reaction that came to see what is normal for other people.
Particularly interested in hearing male opinions as men may react differently to women.
Don't give me your A1 response on a good day - tell me what you would feel like doing. Thanks so much!
It doesn't matter what other men think. It matters what yours thinks.
Call this a hunch, but it sounds to me like your partner got angry at you and you are here fishing for men who will say they wouldn't care so you can go back and invalidate his feelings about you snooping through his messages, like "other guys don't care, you're blowing this out of proportion."
You looked at something of his that you did not ask to look at and he did not give you permission to look at. That is crossing a boundary and he has every right to be unhappy about that. Own your actions and behavior and apologize to him, instead of trying to defend the indefensible.
Any expectations of my privacy or her privacy being opened as a condition of the relationship seemingly means there is no trust. I think everyone, relationship or not, should expect some level of privacy.
If she asked me to look at my phone for a particular reason, I would hand it over to her after a discussion as to the reason. Its really no big deal. However, my relationships have always been somewhat open... so you gotta have a level of trust in order for it to continue.
I just wanted to ask what would your reaction be if your girlfriend asked to use your phone e.g. to video something as her memory was full and then you noticed she looked at your messages.
Would it be a problem?
What would you say or do?
I just want to compare that to the reaction that came to see what is normal for other people.
Particularly interested in hearing male opinions as men may react differently to women.
Don't give me your A1 response on a good day - tell me what you would feel like doing. Thanks so much!
Since I have nothing to hide, I would not mind at all.
If I were hiding something, then, I would be upset.
My wife and I allow each other to look at one another's phones - messages, email, etc. And, because of that, neither of us ever look at the other's phone. We even track each other's location. It is all about trust.
Since I have nothing to hide, I would not mind at all.
If I were hiding something, then, I would be upset.
That's kind of my way of thinking, hiding things or keeping secretes would make me not trust someone, for me trust is not automatic it is based on behavior if someone tries to keep me out of aspects of their life I'm not gonna trust them and most likely will move on.
"none of your business" is not something a romantic partner should hear. I didn't hide anything from people I've been romantically involved with and tried not to do anything that would cause any doubt.
That's kind of my way of thinking, hiding things or keeping secretes would make me not trust someone, for me trust is not automatic it is based on behavior if someone tries to keep me out of aspects of their life I'm not gonna trust them and most likely will move on.
"none of your business" is not something a romantic partner should hear. I didn't hide anything from people I've been romantically involved with and tried not to do anything that would cause any doubt.
Right on, it's usually the folks that are hiding stuff that use the "trust" word. "we need to trust each other" yet they're low key on all the hookup sites.
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