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My boyfriend of about 1.5 years and I ended two days ago. He’s 34 and I’m 31. This wasn’t actually our first breakup, we ended before and I ended up contacting him back first and we started again. However, due to certain reasons, one of them being that he went on a dating app and asked another girl to hang out. They never met up but when I asked him about it; he lied saying he’s not on the app. When I went back to check, his profile was gone. He til this day denies it. But when we ended two days ago, he said the most hurtful things like: I’m the biggest regret of his life, how I only added stress to his life, how there’s not one single thing he’s thankful for in regards to me, etc.
These words pierced my heart and I told him this hurt so much. I ended up blocking him on social media and this one chatting app which was our main form of communication. He knows that I never block but to do this; it means I’m really done and hurt. It wasn’t easy to block but I did. I didn’t block him on my iMessages or phone calls on iPhone though. I didn’t expect him to contact me either.
However; he messaged me today at 5am saying how he’s sorry for the things he said and he takes everything he says back. I didn’t message him nor do I plan on doing so.
But how can he say these hurtful things and say he takes it back? Does he mean he still wants to be with me???
You're over 30? Come on, this is teenage stuff. Woman up, it's time to get some self respect. Block him from your life, iphone and all, and move on. You can do better. It doesn't matter what he means at this point unless you get your thrills through the drama.
Maybe he has a soul and for himself he is looking for redemption for what he's said. I hear that happens often in prison for those who are caught - they find Jesus and have a new perspective. You are too far beyond his league.
He's one of the flotsam and jetsam now. He's a liar, unfaithful, and angry at heart. There is everything to be commended about the insights of the prior posters. Listen to them. You will heal and find wonderful. He will sink back to the bottom of the cesspool.
Enjoy yourself if this is your drink of refreshment, but a wonderful memory is all that may be culled in this scenario, if you can pull any together. Pole vault, pogo-stick, or take the bus away from this cretin. Find happiness.
But how can he say these hurtful things and say he takes it back? Does he mean he still wants to be with me???
It probably means several things. First, yes - it probably does mean he still wants to be with you. But it also means he's really a terrible, immature, hurtful person who you can never count on to treat you with sincerity and respect. He actually helped you out quite a bit here, because if you had any doubts at all about whether you did the right thing by ending it with him, this should put an end to the second-guessing. He just showed you very clearly what kind of person he is. I wish you the best of luck in moving past him and on to someone who is more deserving and appreciative of you, and treats you more respectfully.
He's in his mid 30's and acting like he's in H.S. - you can't make those kind of comments and take them back. Well, you can but he must think you're an idiot to accept that kind of explanation.
Take it as a major red flag and find someone better who doesn't blow up with you and say hurtful things, then expect you to forgive him. He'll keep doing it and keep expecting you to let him off the hook. Do you think he really respects you?
He said things in anger. Doesn’t mean he meant them. But it really doesn’t matter. You’re not a good match. Don’t even think about responding. Move on and find a better match.
I agree with the poster who said "He said things in anger. Doesn’t mean he meant them."
But what brought this on? The breakup? And who broke up with who?
For him to say those hurtful things, I'd assume you broke up with him. BUT, your question "Does he mean he still wants to be with me???" suggests that he broke up with you.
Let me ask you something, OP. Are you innocent here? I am asking because, in my experience, people don't say hurtful things like that unless the other person has said (or done) hurtful things to them.
Why isnt he blocked on your phone? You should think about fact he makes you cry and devalues you, lies more than anything good he brings to your life. Look at the last 1.5 years. I bet you had a pattern of this, right?
He thinks you’ll take him back so you have taught him he can do anything he wants and the worst us you'll go away a while then accept him back. You are wasting your best years on junky situations. This is not a love story.
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