Friend's girlfriend (woman, single, cheated, husband)

[andreaspercheron]

I'm with the other poster that said tell. I'd definitely want to know if my fiance was doing that to me, so yes, I'd tell. I'm of the mind that honesty is the best policy even if it means someone gets hurt.

[Tzaphkiel]

no no no no no
do NOT tell, not your business, just stirs up more trouble

because when people tell me crap like that, i have to wonder what's their motive?
and usually it's about gossip and meanness
no one wants to hear "your honeybunch is a selfish as*wipe" even if it is true

they have to find that out for themself
because otherwise you just look like someone who's out to sling dirt and destroy a relationship

i lost a really good friendship over someone telling me just that
yes, she was right, but it was not her place to tell me, i needed to find that out on my own, and i did
but i also could not tolearate having a "friend" who took it upon herself to try to break us up

[The Man in SATX]

I have to agree with Dim... although the best thing would be to tell your friend that their SO had an affair with someone... it would (normally does) backfire and affect your friendship with them. How many people here like to have advice given to them only to turn around and say "hey that was pretty harsh, I was just asking for advise".

A lot of people tend to "think" they want advise but in the long run would rather have not heard it. Telling someone that their SO had an affair with someone else can only get crap happening and then your friend blames "you" for their relationship falling apart. "If you hadnt told me that she/he was having an affair I would never have known about it. It is your fault I no longer have a GF/BF." You essentially get the blame for the break up..

Zip your lip.. sooner or later the truth shall be seen!

[KYR13]

Originally Posted by burgler09

Just found out my friend's girlfriend had sex with my other buddy. Although they both really don't know eachother (two separate groups of friends). Would you guys tell your friend if his girl cheated on him or would you just keep it from him?

hell yeah. and you should too because if he finds out on his own and then finds out that you knew and didn't tell him he'll freak. you're his friend, you're supposed to have his back. if he blows up in your face, give him proof.

[beowulf7]

If you tell, you could conceivably lose both your friends.

[KYR13]

that's true. if you do it right, you might only lose one, or none.

[Miss Martha]

I would say tell! People who care about people do not cheat and if my friend (or myself) was getting into a relationship with a person who cheated, I would want to know before I took the plunge and got married to that person.

I do like the advice of the person who said print it off and stash it somewhere, so that you aren't the messenger who gets killed. If they mention the note, just act like you don't know a thing!

[chiaroscuro]

Originally Posted by beowulf7

If you tell, you could conceivably lose both your friends.

Originally Posted by KYR13

that's true. if you do it right, you might only lose one, or none.

Originally Posted by DimSumRaja

i lost a really good friendship over someone telling me just that
yes, she was right, but it was not her place to tell me, i needed to find that out on my own, and i did
but i also could not tolearate having a "friend" who took it upon herself to try to break us up

Originally Posted by The Man in SATX

I have to agree with Dim... although the best thing would be to tell your friend that their SO had an affair with someone... it would (normally does) backfire and affect your friendship with them.

*drumroll*

Originally Posted by chiaroscuro

Print out an anonymous message in wordpad that just says something like 'she cheated on you with so-and-so last week.' Then tear that part off so it's just a small strip of paper, and leave it in his mailbox or somewhere he'll find it. Then he won't 'kill the messenger' so to speak, and he will know the truth but not know who divulged it. If they ever work through the cheating and get back together, they won't both hate you, because they don't know it's you.

[Davachka]

Originally Posted by chiaroscuro

*drumroll*

Agreed.

Either:

mind your own business
or
let him know anonymously

Do you really want the drama of getting involved? And yes, long ago, I lost a friend b/c I told her that her bf was cheating. For some reason she stayed with him and decided I was the one who was causing problems/tearing them apart. You don't want to get in the middle of someone elses mess unless you love drama

[JerZ]

To the OP: I'm wondering how you know. This information may already be floating around. You may not have to say anything at all.