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In brief, I've been chatting with the bartender at a bar I frequent a lot. She's cool, friendly, attractive, etc. She seems to think I am the same, and has mentioned so. Can't tell if this is standard good customer retention tactics or if she's actually interested. I asked if she enjoys coffee, she says yes. I asked her what days she has off and if she'd be up to grab coffee sometime to chat about stuff while she isn't working. She said possibly and I managed to grab her number. I waited a four or five days and sent her a text to see if she was free for coffee sometime over the weekend. No response yet.
I go to this bar a lot so I am debating whether to casually confront her about it, don't mention it at all, or just never go back to the bar until she replies one way or the other, if at all. Thoughts?
She knows you for a bit, has talked and laughed and been cool with you. If she was interested, she would not have answered with the word possibly. That sounds to me like she felt trapped: say no and create an awkward situation after which the bar and her tip jar could lose a steady income stream, but say yes and it makes it appear that she's interested when she's not.
If she was intersted, she would have said "Sure," or "I'd like that," or something similar.
Just go and order another drink. Cut out the friendliness. Bartenders (male and female) are not much different than strippers and band members. They usually all have an endless stream of people hitting in them. Would you really want to date someone in that lifestyle. Sure, it’s a conquer now but when she is being hit on years on in, you are not gonna tolerate it. And she is gonna thorn around and tell you that you knew her profession when you met her. She will choose bartending over you. She doesn’t sound interested at all by reading your description. Good luck
Bartenders get asked of all the time and they’re paid to talk to you and act Interested. it’s actually not appropriate to ask out bartenders and wait staff.
As someone who helped run a bar with mostly female bartenders, I will say they are paid to keep the customers coming back. Bartenders set the tone of the bar... It's their job.
As noted don't confuse professional friendlyness or good customer service with actual interest.
What would you call a restaurant employee who consistently asks me personal questions such as my name, where I live, do I live alone, where do I work, etc.?
I'd say that's a couple notches above "professional friendlyness (sic) or good customer service" but let's hear from the 'experts', shall we...
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