It Seems Women Generally Disapprove of Their Spouse

[E-Twist]

My late husband was great. I never complained about him to anyone. And when I think about it I can't say any of my friends did any complaining about their spouses, except for one - and she divorced him.

I think the quickest way to shut down people bad talking about their spouses would be to ask why they ever married that person, or ask why they don't get a divorce.

I wonder what the biggest complaint about spouses is.,

[homina12]

I believe as others have said that women often do this to process what they're feeling and to get feedback, or pushback. I also believe these discussions serve as echo chambers and escalate. The words people use to talk about their partners or relationships reflect their feelings, but also reinforce, strengthen, and sometimes create a level of feeling that wouldn't exist otherwise. And feelings being the force they are, that can become something like reality.

[Stagemomma]

Originally Posted by CCS414

It seems to me that whenever I hear women talk about the SO's (husband or long time boyfriend) it's generally negative. My wife and MIL are constantly tearing downing my brother in law, sister is constantly saying negative things about her boyfriend of 7 years, co-worker always talking about how her husband doesnt help out around the house etc...Even on TV shows when you here a woman talking to another woman about there SO it's typically negative. Is it just me? I never see or here a woman talk about how handsome, loving or capable their SO is.

I agree with you 100%. Men are portrayed as hapless doofuses in a lot of media.

I grew up in this kind of environment. Men were a constant source of derision. I married a man who had been raised the opposite. His mother was a June Cleaver-esq housewife who agreed with her husband even when she didn't agree with him.

It did not bode well for our marriage.

I learned quite a few lessons, and my next husband (Because I still hope there will be one) will be treated with more respect and adoration.

[Seija]

Originally Posted by CCS414

It seems to me that whenever I hear women talk about the SO's (husband or long time boyfriend) it's generally negative. My wife and MIL are constantly tearing downing my brother in law, sister is constantly saying negative things about her boyfriend of 7 years, co-worker always talking about how her husband doesnt help out around the house etc...Even on TV shows when you here a woman talking to another woman about there SO it's typically negative. Is it just me? I never see or here a woman talk about how handsome, loving or capable their SO is.

Probably because men tend not to listen to their spouses when their spouses come to them with a problem.

Oops, was that a generalization?

[saibot]

Originally Posted by katharsis

I do think that most women WILL offer a complaint or a criticism once in a while, however, as a means of bonding with a woman who does the same. Kind of like, "My husband makes me so irritated when he leaves empty coffee cups all over the house." "Yes, I know, with my husband, he will leave his dirty socks everywhere. So aggravating!"

This seems right on. A situation where one woman is making others listen to endless complaints about her spouse, while they sit silent, is less common than the above situation. It was the same when I would get together with girlfriends when our kids were little...one would mention something trying that their husband or child was doing, and others would commiserate and tell their stories. It certainly wasn't the case that we all disapproved of our spouses or our children! It was a way of sharing that we were all experiencing similar, though slightly different, circumstances, and asking for and offering advice on how to deal with it.

People who constantly brag on their spouses and children are just as bad as the complainers, in the opposite way. I don't want to hear that your husband is perfect, any more than I want to hear that he is the world's most terrible man. This is why people telling stories about their grandchildren are so boring. They are nothing but cute, adorable, brilliant, precocious, ad nauseam.

[jobaba]

Rarely see it. If anything, the exact opposite.

Even here, you rarely see it, on an anonymous board. However ... people absolutely let loose on their EX-spouses.

Basically, people don't want to admit they made a mistake or are unsure about something, so ... they either think all positive thoughts, or don't talk about it.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by Seija

Probably because men tend not to listen to their spouses when their spouses come to them with a problem.

Oops, was that a generalization?

When a man follows his dingalinglangalong people think he is an idiot.....
When women have trouble with the men they pick , well...

[PJSaturn]

Some women complain about their male partners. Some men complain about their female partners. End of story.

For the umpteenth time, people, DO NOT make sweeping generalizations about either gender, or about any group of people. It's just wrong. This thread is now closed.