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So in the past few years of trying to date women I’ve come across a few that would say things like “You look like my ex who I’m not over yet” or “You look exactly like my brother, and would be weird to date you because of that”.
Just was curious to see if this is just some weird coincidences I been coming across or is that just another way for someone to say they aren’t interested?
And is that normal to happen if someone you talked to looked like someone you knew and you didn’t want anything to do with them because of that?
I had that happen. Met a woman for the first time.
She was a dead ringer for my best friend's mom, when she was younger.
She was a nice person too. Just could not get past the weirdness of it, to consider dating her.
Unless you have had it happen to you It's hard to understand, I guess.
So in the past few years of trying to date women I’ve come across a few that would say things like “You look like my ex who I’m not over yet” or “You look exactly like my brother, and would be weird to date you because of that”.
Just was curious to see if this is just some weird coincidences I been coming across or is that just another way for someone to say they aren’t interested?
And is that normal to happen if someone you talked to looked like someone you knew and you didn’t want anything to do with them because of that?
You know, this is not often posted about...I somehow think this is kind of a strange reason not to date someone.
I had a friend that wouldn't date any woman with the same name as his ex. I mean, they didn't even have to look like their ex. lol
I had that happen. Met a woman for the first time.
She was a dead ringer for my best friend's mom, when she was younger.
She was a nice person too. Just could not get past the weirdness of it, to consider dating her.
Unless you have had it happen to you It's hard to understand, I guess.
Your best friend's mom? I don't get that, because you're not related. It was just a friend of your mom's. There's not even an implied incest here. lol
I had that happen but I never got rejected for it.
Just recently I had a date with a guy much shorter and he said a few times that his ex was my height and it feels a bit odd walking next to me because memories now come up. They split 7 years ago and she died, so ... not really a threat
I don't care as long as I don't get rejected and if, then oh well... what an idiot.
I disagree, I think that anyone can take a pass on dating anyone for any reason or no reason.
Maybe you realize that the reason you are "not feelin' it" or you've got some bit of discomfort is that they remind you of someone that you'd rather not be reminded of. Fine.
I wouldn't want anyone dating me who was uncomfortable dating me. They don't owe me anything. If they don't want to date me they could just...not. There are billions of other people out there, I could date someone else.
I would not have wanted to date anyone who reminded me of my first husband in any of a variety of ways. In fact I got to the saucy talk with one "flirtationship" of a flirty sort of friend when we were both polyamorous (well, he still is, but I stopped doing that years ago)...and he started telling me stuff about what he likes in bed. Some of those things were things my ex was into doing and I was like, "Nope. Nope, nope, nope." And the one and only reason that this behavior was such an instant turn off, is it would remind me of the ex.
Let's see...things that my ex ruined for me (and I am not complaining)...
Soldiers, vets, gun enthusiasts, preppers, survivalists and conservatives. Men who refer to themselves as "Alpha," "Lone Wolf," or "Wolf"-anything. Men who insist that they are Native American when they are not, especially if they go on about "totems" and "spirit animals." Anyone who spits a lot. Anyone who drinks to get drunk, who drinks beer, who drinks often (as in, more than one glass of something on rare occasions) and anyone who uses cannabis. Men who drive big trucks. Libras.
I think that's enough to start with, but there's probably more that I'd have to encounter to even know about, and then there's the sex things that are nobody's business.
And I know, my whole "nobody has to date anybody, so what?" take on this, probably has to do with the relative ease by which I can meet potential partners (or at least, I could when I was doing that, but I imagine I probably could now if I wanted to)...but somebody else's scarcity is not my problem and creates no obligation for me to deal with any discomfort on my part. Sorry, not sorry. Wish ya luck, though.
It doesn't matter why they say it. They don't want to date you. Accept it graciously and move on.
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