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I'm a 26 year old male who has no romantic experience with women at all. I've never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, and I've never so much as held a girl's hand. The farthest I've ever gotten is hugging some girls here and there, but that's it.
The thing is that I usually don't have an issue with getting girls to like me. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I consider myself a fairly decent looking guy. I think back to my time in school and I know that a lot of girls liked me, it's just that I never made a move because I was just shy and awkward. I honestly think that I've never fully moved out of that phase.
Nowadays I still have a fair amount of women whom notice me. Some at work make it really obvious with the flirting (playing with their hair, giggling nonstop, touching me, complimenting me, etc) and I get some stares in public places, I just never make a move due to nerves. I know that I need to just be confident and such, but my fear or rejection and misinterpreting signs always get the better of me.
It's reached a point where I honestly can't even picture myself with a women in the romantic sense. Everytime that I think of me with a girl and doing things like romantic talk, showing support, and even physical intimacy, it just feels...off. I can't envision myself being a boyfriend and I'm worried that this is going to affect me in the hypothetical event that I get a girlfriend. I'm also at a point where a lot of my family are really pressuring me to get a move on in the dating front. Help me out here. I'm perfectly willing to hear some harsh truths or whatever to help me make some drastic changes.
Are you yourself interested in dipping your toes into the dating world?
Yeah, but my problem is getting dates in the first place. I know that it's more or less expected for guys to make the first move in asking someone out and that's where the problem lies for me.
Yeah, but my problem is getting dates in the first place. I know that it's more or less expected for guys to make the first move in asking someone out and that's where the problem lies for me.
Would you consider doing online dating? If so, perhaps a woman-driven one might work better for you as you'll already know that she's at least superficially interested in you from the get-go.
Rejection stings, to be sure, but if you never put yourself out there for fear of being turned down, you're going to be forever where you at right now unless, by some twist of fate, a woman seriously puts the moves on you first.
P.S. Tell your family members to mind their own business. You don't need the added pressure to what's already a stressful situation for you.
Your best bet is to meet women through your social circle. If you have no social circle, then your other options are bars/nightclubs, online dating, or "cold approaching." But unfortunately, those are all horrible, for different reasons:
Bars/nightclubs: women go there to have fun with their friends, or boyfriends. They have no interest whatsoever in interacting with any of the men there.
Online dating: don't even get me started.
Cold approaching: in the era of "me too" and sexual harassment/sexual assault hysteria, this is far more likely to get you some sort of charge than it is to get you a date. Plus women really don't like being "approached" by random men.
So your social circle ie friends/family is really the only way to form any lasting relationship. If you have no social circle, then the "uphill battle" of finding a mate, becomes more or less vertical.
Your best bet is to meet women through your social circle. If you have no social circle, then your other options are bars/nightclubs, online dating, or "cold approaching." But unfortunately, those are all horrible, for different reasons:
Bars/nightclubs: women go there to have fun with their friends, or boyfriends. They have no interest whatsoever in interacting with any of the men there.
Online dating: don't even get me started.
Cold approaching: in the era of "me too" and sexual harassment/sexual assault hysteria, this is far more likely to get you some sort of charge than it is to get you a date. Plus women really don't like being "approached" by random men.
So your social circle ie friends/family is really the only way to form any lasting relationship. If you have no social circle, then the "uphill battle" of finding a mate, becomes more or less vertical.
I have my social circle of friends from work. We'll hang out and throw the occasional party here and there, but we only have a small handful of women in the group. The women in our group are either gay or taken and that obviously doesn't help me. I've entertained the idea of trying to convince some of these girls to invite some of their friends to our outings, but I don't know how to do it without making it obvious that I just want to be set up with them. We're stuck with the same usual people in our group and I don't know how to expand it.
I have my social circle of friends from work. We'll hang out and throw the occasional party here and there, but we only have a small handful of women in the group. The women in our group are either gay or taken and that obviously doesn't help me. I've entertained the idea of trying to convince some of these girls to invite some of their friends to our outings, but I don't know how to do it without making it obvious that I just want to be set up with them. We're stuck with the same usual people in our group and I don't know how to expand it.
I wouldn't recommend dating within your work social circle unless you're okay with your personal business being spread about--especially given your inexperience. If you happen to come across one of your coworkers' friends when out and about an a social event that could be a decent way to meet someone new.
When you're not at work, what sort of things do you like to do?
Do you do anything or have any interests outside of work? The more you do the more chance you have of meeting people. And why so scared to ask a woman out? If she says no will it kill you? Break a bone? Shrink your balls? Make you throw up or give you a headache?
Unless you want to end up old and alone, or are asexual, you need to get outside of your comfort zone and start asking women out. Or men. Could you be in denial about about your preferences? Either way, what is sitting around doing nothing getting you?
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