Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He didn't ask for nudies. And if anyone asks for nudies, or seems to be going that way, the normal reaction if you don't like it is to cut the conversation short. Full stop. But that's not what the OP describes.
Im not understanding the controversy over asking for 'more' pics (implying the pics wanted are revealing or pornographic) that other folks are describing in this thread. The Internet being what it is these days, any perv can type in any weird permutation on his fetish and get hundreds of thousands of hits of everything and anything x-rated related to his (or her) fetish. I doubt sleazy men online are that desperate for a little eye candy.
If this is a new version of heavy-breather phone calls, just do the equivalent of a click and hang up.
Nudies?
You doubt sleazy men are looking for eye candy on a dating app? Of course they are! They don’t have to leave their house. Yes, sleazy men are allowed “online”.
It sounds like something someone would say who just wandered out of the woods.
If OP comes back, ask how many women he’s met in person from an app in the last 10 years he’s been using dating apps. Of course it’s not him.
Just to help clarify for those who think I was trying to get “more pics as in sexual”, no I was not. I was wanting a simple picture of her so I could know what she looked like when I met her, and yes a body picture would of been the preference because I’m not into dating someone who is obese, not trying to sound mean or anything.
If she was obese when I saw her in person then I would of not had a second date. I apologize for those who thought I was going to try asking for more sexual pictures
Nudies?
You doubt sleazy men are looking for eye candy on a dating app? Of course they are! They don’t have to leave their house. Yes, sleazy men are allowed “online”.
It sounds like something someone would say who just wandered out of the woods.
If OP comes back, ask how many women he’s met in person from an app in the last 10 years he’s been using dating apps. Of course it’s not him.
Well. I did somewhat metaphorically wander out of the woods, but I haven't been so deeply into them as to not be aware that the Internet is a vast repository of sleaze, among other things.. And I mean vast. All anyone has to do is type in 'xxx' into Google to get thousands of open-heart surgery style close ups, and that's just on the first twenty pages or so. Why would a sleazy guy be hard up for nudies? He can get every angle of any body part, telescopically zoomed in on a mole of one fold of a .... you get the drift. So I ask again: why would sleazy men troll some girl on a dating app for, of all things, some blurry pic of her behind?
Well. I did somewhat metaphorically wander out of the woods, but I haven't been so deeply into them as to not be aware that the Internet is a vast repository of sleaze, among other things.. And I mean vast. All anyone has to do is type in 'xxx' into Google to get thousands of open-heart surgery style close ups, and that's just on the first twenty pages or so. Why would a sleazy guy be hard up for nudies? He can get every angle of any body part, telescopically zoomed in on a mole of one fold of a .... you get the drift. So I ask again: why would sleazy men troll some girl on a dating app for, of all things, some blurry pic of her behind?
Well they do. Some women comply, so they probably think it’s worth a shot. A lot of them are interested in sex as well, I’m not making that part up either.
The OP said he just wanted to make sure she wasn’t fat though, which the other poster thought I was making up.
Just to help clarify for those who think I was trying to get “more pics as in sexual”, no I was not. I was wanting a simple picture of her so I could know what she looked like when I met her, and yes a body picture would of been the preference because I’m not into dating someone who is obese, not trying to sound mean or anything.
If she was obese when I saw her in person then I would of not had a second date. I apologize for those who thought I was going to try asking for more sexual pictures
Well you are being honest here. Some people don't like that but that is life
Op, not sure if you are just dissecting this for reference or if you had good conversations with this person and are really sorry you did not meet?
If so, you could say hey maybe we should try this over. I’m sorry we had a miscommunication. Offer to meet again, if so.
Maybe you want to hang out and get a coffee/ drink/casual lunch- so you have an escape clause, you can skedaddle.
But something tells me you didn’t have deep meaningful conversations yet. You were waiting to see if she was non obese first maybe.
I guess you coud ask if she likes to work out, maybe and say you lost 10 lbs or got way healthier after doing x,y, z after starting a new workout, and ask if she is naturally high metabolism or whatnot, see if she indicates anything.
Or the kind of foods she eats, if she is health oriented, etc.
You can get info without breaching her privacy. If she gets all touchy you can say yeah a healthy lifestyle is compatible for me because I am looking for somebody who would like to do active things together, etc.
Also op, do you have all sorts of pics? It helps your case if you do.
The don’t want to “ waste my time” crew is usually not of interest to me. If I have good conversations, I might be willing to meet if the person seems to have some social sophistication and gives me the benefit of the doubt because like me, they might feel it is about more than sex drive+the visual stimuli in front of me, to get involved. I need to know about their values. It takes a while.
I’d never go to romance on a meet. It’s just an introduction, then we go home and think about how that felt.
I never assured anybody “ I’m not obese, ok? Someone asked me that. I was silent, like, ugh. Then he says what's your dress size, I told him, he still wasn't convinced I wasn't a potential catfish- he wanted pics. I was ok not bothering. I was just as suspicious he was not a sleaze, harping on this. Just kind of distasteful.
I matched with a girl on bumble 3 days ago, she said she moved from Chicago not long ago and now she lives in my area and only had 2 pictures on her profile.
After we talked for a bit I asked for her number, we started texting even though she was at work busy (she worked in a hospital)
She sent me a selfie of her at work because we talked about being catfished on the bumble app earlier, but her selfie was a close up on her wearing a mask and you couldn’t see anything else other than her face with a mask on, her eyes and barely her work badge.
So the next 2 days we texted a bit but was mainly her just venting about her busy days at work, small talks mostly
So tonight I texted her if she was off work, she said she had just got home and was happy because she was off work the next 4 days. I asked if we could maybe try meeting up tomorrow since she was off and she said of course
I asked if I could see another picture of her now that she wasn’t at work and didn’t have a mask on, mostly for me so I knew what she looked like if I and when I would meet her somewhere. From there on that’s when all hell broke loose. She started saying how she doesn’t like sending pictures, it’s not her thing and she doesn’t like it because she has been burned before.
So I asked her why she was burned before by sending a picture and she got defensive with “I don’t send photos, I don’t like it, I been burned. Idc if you’re a visual person or not”. Also went on to say she doesn’t need to explain herself etc… I apologized to her and tried explaining that I was just trying to get to know her more and understand why she had this issue. I then asked if she was hiding something for why she started getting so defensive. She starts playing victim, calling me dude and saying I’m getting butt hurt over not asking for a picture of her so I knew what she looked like currently and so I wouldn’t get catfished.
I also told her that I respect that if she had an issue with sending pictures, I wasn’t asking for an album, was just asking for a selfie so I wouldn’t get lied to about her looks (i didn’t say that last part about the looks, that was for myself).
Anyways she went on for about 30 minutes saying how I was the butt hurt one and I didn’t respect her boundaries and I’m immature because I didn’t get what I wanted etc..
I guess my question here is, what happened ? Was I in the wrong for asking or was she hiding something?
What happened here is you dodged a bullet. No you're not in the wrong people get catfished all the time so often we have a word for it.
Just to help clarify for those who think I was trying to get “more pics as in sexual”, no I was not. I was wanting a simple picture of her so I could know what she looked like when I met her, and yes a body picture would of been the preference because I’m not into dating someone who is obese, not trying to sound mean or anything.
If she was obese when I saw her in person then I would of not had a second date. I apologize for those who thought I was going to try asking for more sexual pictures
So you wanted to see if she was fat. Don't misunderstand: I totally understand how important physical attraction is and in some ways, I cannot blame you for wanting to know.
That said, there are other women who would be onto that from the minute you asked, and she sounds like one of them, with her comment on not knowing whether you are "visually oriented." That was probably her way of saying, "I know you are looking to see if I am fat," and she probably was, given her defensiveness, so she lashed out at you.
This is why people should always put a recent full-body shot on their profiles. It doesn't have to show a lot of skin. It can be in a nice outfit or jeans and a t-shirt or sweater, like I used to do. But there needs to be one because for better or worse, people have their preferences in physical type.
"Oh, that's superficial."
Good, then you won't mind ruling "superficial" people out, either. Win-win!
Just to help clarify for those who think I was trying to get “more pics as in sexual”, no I was not. I was wanting a simple picture of her so I could know what she looked like when I met her, and yes a body picture would of been the preference because I’m not into dating someone who is obese, not trying to sound mean or anything.
If she was obese when I saw her in person then I would of not had a second date. I apologize for those who thought I was going to try asking for more sexual pictures
I know I sounded a little dismissive in my last reply, but really...I don't feel that way. It was more of me being blunt I guess.
You have a right to like what you like, and it does seem she got super defensive, and perhaps was trying to hide something. Probably her body type. Oh well.
Like someone above said...she should've just included a couple of full body, or partial body shots, so you, and anyone else going forward, would know or not if they wanted to pursue.
I wouldn't give a second thought to someone who had such an overreaction...especially if she used the expression 'butt hurt.'
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
