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+Not seeing your man for 2 whole years during the pandemic? That ain't your man, sorry.
Besides all the other stuff, I don't think you can have sex, then stop having sex until he marries you. If sex before marriage was an issue, then you already blew it by having sex before marriage. Game Over.
I have a boyfriend for a long time. He also proposed marriage to me and I had accepted it. We were planning for a marriage before the pandemic but it was temporarily stopped due to the lock down and pandemic. We also didn't see each other due to this reason. We only message or call each other. It was for about 2 years.
Now, we can see each other again in person and we can start again the planning. But I can't feel his eagerness anymore. I ask him about the planning but he answered me that he is just waiting for me to initiate the planning. So I show him my initiation. I am looking for supplier, photographer and he said that he will message them. But 2 weeks had past, he still didn't message them. I tried to open up this topic to him but he didn't answered this topic.
He also asked me sometimes to have sex after work. But I always decline. In the early stage of our relationship, we do sex but now, we don't. I said to him that I want marriage now before doing sex. It's just like I am also protecting myself because I don't know if he still want to marry me or he just only want sex.
We sometimes fight with this issue. I give in to him last time because I thought after that, we can start again the planning. But until now, I can't feel or see any advances from him with regards to the marriage. Sex is his always topic. Like why I can't give it to him. I said to him that I want marriage first then do sex. But he won't believe me. He also said he wants to break up because i can't give it to him. He will LOOK for another woman who can give it to him. He also said that his ex is much better and hope that he didn't break up with her because she is active in bed. I was really hurt on what he said. It's like, does this guy really love me or only sex is what he wants. If I can't do sex with him, he said that he will break up with me. I said that I can still do it. Then he stop being angry. I was crying infront of him while we are talking/fighting. We somehow stopped fighting after I said I can still do sex.
But I was still hurt on what he said. After the fight, he said that he really wanted to break up with me but it still didn't happened. We are still in a relationship. But he still didn't say sorry about on what he said that he will look for other woman and that his ex is much better and hope that he didn't break up with her. Every time I recalled his statement, I can't stop crying. He said do not cry to me and forget it. But how can I forget it if he won't say that he was sorry. I felt that he truly meant it. I am confused right now. Should I still continue my relationship with him? Or should I agree with the break up.
No, you should not. First of all, he is evasive about the marriage planning. He doesn't respect your feelings, and he is not being honest with you. He is stringing you along and you know in your heart that he hurt you and he is manipulating you to have sex by threatening you.
Always react from your 'gut' feeling. If you feel that dagger and the emotional pain that is associated with it, then you need to remove yourself from an unhealthy situation. I'm very sorry this has happened to you, but sometimes we have to pony up and stand up for our values, even if it means being hurt. Time will heal you of this, and if you stay with him you will always doubt his sincerity and that dagger will be constant and you will not be happy. God gave us that gut feeling as a defense mechanism that warns us of impending unhappiness. A true, loving relationship is not based on threats, confusion, hurt and unhappiness. You will find someone else, but you should heal from this before you get back into the dating scene. I hope you will go with your instincts and get out of this relationship. Good luck!
I said to him that I want marriage now before doing sex. It's just like I am also protecting myself because I don't know if he still want to marry me or he just only want sex.
Are you even listening to yourself? You're denying him sex until you get married to see if he really wants to get married or just have sex? Girl, you basically told him, "If you want sex you have to marry me." So what exactly are you proving. THINK.
Why couldn't you see each other during the pandemic? I don't know of any couples--much less engaged-to-be married couples--who took social distancing that far. Remember there was a vaccine one year into this thing. Sheer hormones alone would have had me climbing over barricades and violating every stay at home order after 2 years. Masks on clothes off!
You know what I think? I think that you don't like him very much, you don't like sex at all, and you are just desperate to get married. What are you trying to escape from?
You have sex with him regularly and then stop having sex with him because you want to wait for marriage. Uhm. That makes no sense.
I am surprised he is still with you.
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