You attract a specific type of man/woman every time, and yet that type does not work for your personality

[oh-eve]

I experience the opposite.

I am an introvert. I usually date extroverts. They need the audience and I am happy to not have to be the entertainer. I am not boring but I don't really talk a lot. I am more a person of action than words. I feel guilty for not being that talkative but extroverts don't even notice because they are happy that I am interested in what they have to say. It makes me talk a little more, too. I sometimes suffer a bit when we are somewhere and my bf starts a conversation with anyone that comes his way while I just want to get going. But oh well.

I was married to another introvert. We bored each other to death. At least he bored me. We sat on the table and had nothing to talk. Silence. He got angry about people in the restaurant who were too loud. When I started a conversation, he did not want to talk about anything "pointless" or "not happening anyway." We barely met my friends because he just wanted to be with me. He had no friends at all, I was his everything. At parties we were the ones sitting in the corner. He did not want to participate in any games, etc. etc.

[oh-eve]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

I always tell people that Mrs. Minivan married me because I was the only man on the planet unafraid of her. She can be pretty direct and opinionated. Those things don't bother me in the least. And, early on, I wasn't afraid to call her on BS. She liked that about me.

haha, that is awesome. My situation is similar and I also like guys who call me out and aren't scared of me. Which is more rare than you think.

[thinkertinker]

Originally Posted by bu2

Shy or introverted isn't the issue. Often an extrovert and introvert complement each other. An entertainer and a good listener can be a good match. Maybe that's why you have connected with those types.

I think your issue is the "strong" personality. Some people don't like conflict, especially introverts. Not liking conflict does not mean "passive-aggressive." You sound kind of like a good friend of mine. I always felt she needed someone who would "go toe to toe" as opposed to someone she would roll over.

Yes, I agree. I think it's someone that can handle me and go toe to toe. When people meet me, I am very sweet, warm, welcoming, patient and I continue like that. However, if you disappoint me or frustrate me I am very direct. I will tell you "you have disappointed me because of x,y,z" or I will tell you "I don't trust you based on your previous behavior." I am very direct in that way. Not to be mean, not start conflict, not to hurt the other person, but in order to move a relationship forward (this goes beyond romantic) people need to be transparent on how they feel. And I definitely pick and choose my battles, but when I choose my battle, I am not as sweet and warm as people think (or at least I come off that way).

And for the record, I don't yell and I don't insult, my words can just be very sharp and I get very firm and lay boundaries right away and make sure to communicate to the person the boundaries they need to respect. A lot of guys have not been able to handle that. They get scared of me.