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No 26-year-old with anything going for him would get involved with a woman ten years older with a kid unless they were desperate. He is only looking for a good time not a ready-made family.
From your posting history it seems you have a problem reading people.
It may be time to concentrate on meeting people in person in a group setting. A place where you would get to know someone in real life before you go out with them.
I know I hate it. Gives me so much anxiety. Should I wait to meet him again and ask what he is looking for ? I’m nervous to even go out again. Have a bad feeling after his contact and party style post
Date.
It was a FIRST date. And even though it went well, it doesn't sound like he is looking for a commitment. He's going out every night and not being very attentive to your messages.
He's 26 and a player and you, at 36, clearly want more, and you like him.
I wouldn't forego another date with him, but just know that this may not lead to a long term relationship, and will just be fun and good conversation. You will have to decide if that is enough for you at this point. I think it's too early to ask him what he's looking for and you should ask yourself the same question. It was one date.
Two things jump out at me. One: you are 36 years old and having angst over a date. You are too old for that. Two: It's was only one date. You have nothing invested.
You don't like his texting style. He's a party boy. Move on. You've lost nothing.
I mean I would love to hang out with him. He seems pretty awesome minus the texting issue. I just don’t know if it’s a bad idea if he is just looking for casual. Just don’t know if I should risk getting too invested or wasting my time. Should I give it a second date and ask in person or ask before what he is looking for?
It was one date. Expecting something more from ONE date is unreasonable. Why can't you just chill, go out with him again and see how it plays out. It's not a waste of time to try to really get to know someone.
I know I think this has been my major problem in dating. I’ve realized I do too much to please the other person without considering what I want. Then I just end up getting hurt. I need to set out the boundary upfront. Some guys will ask online so it’s clear. I probably should start doing that before going on a date to avoid this.
So, what are you going to do? Say "I'm looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage and a father figure for my child?" Before the date? This is why guys probably ask online. They want hookups and fun, not marriage and a step-child. Perhaps you should shoot for guys who express an interest in an LTR.
It was a FIRST date. And even though it went well, it doesn't sound like he is looking for a commitment. He's going out every night and not being very attentive to your messages.
He's 26 and a player and you, at 36, clearly want more, and you like him.
I wouldn't forego another date with him, but just know that this may not lead to a long term relationship, and will just be fun and good conversation. You will have to decide if that is enough for you at this point. I think it's too early to ask him what he's looking for and you should ask yourself the same question. It was one date.
I am not looking for him to commit after one date but I guess I just want to know if he is strictly just looking for casual and not open to anything else. He actually did ask me on the date what I was looking for but we kinda brushed over the convo. We were walking to next spot and he caught me off guard. I said eventually a relationship but open to casual in the meantime which was dumb of me to say! And I don’t think I got an answer from him. He prob just heard casual and was like cool lol.
So, what are you going to do? Say "I'm looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage and a father figure for my child?" Before the date? This is why guys probably ask online. They want hookups and fun, not marriage and a step-child. Perhaps you should shoot for guys who express an interest in an LTR.
Oy that makes it sound intense. I was thinking I would say I’m looking for something serious eventually but not in any rush. I just want to date and see where things go but I want to date with the possibility of something more than a hookup. Something along those lines ?
But what does it matter "what you should say you are looking for" to him at this point? He is not communicating with you in the manner you'd like. So you want to be looking at your phone every night wondering if he's going to text you back? That doesn't sound like it would enhance your life since it causes angst. A guy who goes out every night is living the single life. Footloose and fancy free. If you are happy being along for the ride, go for it without any expectations.
Oy that makes it sound intense. I was thinking I would say I’m looking for something serious eventually but not in any rush. I just want to date and see where things go but I want to date with the possibility of something more than a hookup. Something along those lines ?
So if that's how you really feel, then just relax and see if you have a 2nd or 3rd date. See how things progress. Perhaps you will be able to determine that he might be interested in something long-term. But be prepared for 'not.' He's only 26. Again, it's not a waste of your time if you are having a good time with him and you enjoy each other's company.
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