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Well, maybe the original poster feels like he doesn't deserve someone better, but in that case he needs to work on his self-esteem before he thinks about dating.
Drama queen, codependent. Best case scenario, she leaves him for you and leaves you for someone else after a year of complaining behind your back. Worst case scenario you stop pursuing bad news. Wait, I think I mixed up the best and worst
Not to mention "work" sounds like a gossip factory from junior high school days.
I like this girl at work. She has been seeing some guy from work over 1 year in secret or at least she thinks it's a secret. She has told other people that she doesn't like the guy she is seeing and only sees him as a friend. But she can't find a way out. The guy is 6 years older than her about to turn 40 so I guess this is his last hope for a long term relationship. The girl was hurt before in her love life so maybe she feels that breaking up with him would be the same thing she went through. They are only seeing each other, they are not boyfriend or girlfriend or at least that is what she keeps telling everyone that she is single but seeing someone. I don't know how that works but either way I told her over a card and a gift that I have feelings for her.
I am on vacation and she saw my gift while I was gone. She told one of my colleagues at work that she is really confused and doesn't know what to do because a co-worker slash maybe friend likes me but I don't like her back and maybe she feels she will betray her if she accepts me. I think the girl may like me and I want to tell her in person how I feel when I get back but I am starting to have second thoughts.
I do not want her to make a rash decision but I also don't want her to be in a relationship she feels obligated to be. She doesn't like the guy I know that for a fact. The guy treats her nice, buys her stuff, takes her on trips etc etc but she says she has a boring time when they are together. She refers to him as a friend when she mentions hanging out with him.
Would it be wrong to chase after her knowing she is seeing someone but she doesn't like/love him and they been hanging out for at least 1 year or longer? The girl is very nice and sweet and I don't think she wants to hurt the guy but I feel she is hurting herself more by being with someone you don't have feelings for. All I know is she is confused AF on what to do and what she wants in her life. any advice?
Am I in the wrong by telling her how I feel even though I know she is seeing someone but not in a serious relationship?
How is it you arranged to give her a gift while you’re away, but then find out what her reaction was and the words she used, but can’t talk to her because you’re on vacation?
I guess you’ll find out when you get back “from vacation” whether not you get to be the next guy she doesn’t really like but hangs out with for a year. Give us an update
Drama queen, codependent. Best case scenario, she leaves him for you and leaves you for someone else after a year of complaining behind your back. Worst case scenario you stop pursuing bad news. Wait, I think I mixed up the best and worst
I like this girl at work. She has been seeing some guy from work over 1 year in secret or at least she thinks it's a secret. She has told other people that she doesn't like the guy she is seeing and only sees him as a friend. But she can't find a way out.
The guy is 6 years older than her about to turn 40 so I guess this is his last hope for a long term relationship. The girl was hurt before in her love life so maybe she feels that breaking up with him would be the same thing she went through. They are only seeing each other, they are not boyfriend or girlfriend or at least that is what she keeps telling everyone that she is single but seeing someone. I don't know how that works but either way I told her over a card and a gift that I have feelings for her.
I am on vacation and she saw my gift while I was gone. She told one of my colleagues at work that she is really confused and doesn't know what to do because a co-worker slash maybe friend likes me but I don't like her back and maybe she feels she will betray her if she accepts me. I think the girl may like me and I want to tell her in person how I feel when I get back but I am starting to have second thoughts.
I do not want her to make a rash decision but I also don't want her to be in a relationship she feels obligated to be. She doesn't like the guy I know that for a fact. The guy treats her nice, buys her stuff, takes her on trips etc etc but she says she has a boring time when they are together. She refers to him as a friend when she mentions hanging out with him.
Would it be wrong to chase after her knowing she is seeing someone but she doesn't like/love him and they been hanging out for at least 1 year or longer? The girl is very nice and sweet and I don't think she wants to hurt the guy but I feel she is hurting herself more by being with someone you don't have feelings for. All I know is she is confused AF on what to do and what she wants in her life. any advice?
Am I in the wrong by telling her how I feel even though I know she is seeing someone but not in a serious relationship?
If she is telling people she can't find a way out and that they are just friends, she's not being honest with herself or her friends. He spends money on her, takes her on trips, etc. and she goes and still stays with him and talks behind his back. Are you sure you want to date this girl? They are obviously in a FWB relationship and she doesn't "want" out.
As for his age (almost 40 and last hope for LT relationship)??? Are you kidding? I was divorced at 47 and through the last 15 years I've had long term relationships and I'm still young enough at 63 to have several more. That was a judgmental statement towards someone you don't even know.
She knows you are interested so just leave the ball in her court.
I like this girl at work. She has been seeing some guy from work over 1 year in secret or at least she thinks it's a secret. She has told other people that she doesn't like the guy she is seeing and only sees him as a friend. But she can't find a way out. ...
Would it be wrong to chase after her knowing she is seeing someone but she doesn't like/love him and they been hanging out for at least 1 year or longer? The girl is very nice and sweet and I don't think she wants to hurt the guy but I feel she is hurting herself more by being with someone you don't have feelings for. All I know is she is confused AF on what to do and what she wants in her life. any advice?
Am I in the wrong by telling her how I feel even though I know she is seeing someone but not in a serious relationship?
Wrong? No. But before you make any declarations, how are you going to feel when you become that guy? It is inevitable. Cheaters always cheat, and however she justifies it, what you describe is cheating.
She does like me too. She told me. She wasn't just seeing the guy they are a couple now. She wasn't bored when they are together, she just feels empty when she gets home. She doesn't want to break up with him because she doesn't want to hurt him. The guy has been there for her when she was sick after she was cheated on etc etc. She sees him as a brother and cares for him but she doesn't see a connection with him when they are together. So my co-worker wasn't very honest with me about her conversations with her. To be honest both of them don't speak very good english. One is vietnamese and one is spanish speaking. Maybe there was some confusion in there conversations but some parts were true but others were not.
Basically, IMO she feels obligated to be with they guy based on how he has treated her. She doesn't love him as a potential partner but she is probably trapped. I told her she should not live her life like that but only she can decide how to live her life. I told her later in life she may regret denying herself an opportunity to find true love again with someone even if that isn't me by being in a relationship she isn't happy in.
They guy isn't that attractive but she said she doesn't want an attractive guy because that way she doesn't have to worry about what the guy is doing and with a less attractive guy she feels the guy would not cheat on her. She has been cheated on multiple times before she told me that and I guess with the guy she is seeing now she feels she won't get hurt again.
I told her I understand and if I had known she had a boyfriend instead of just seeing someone I would have stayed away. I still like her and care for her but I know I need to move on with my life. I hate the fact that she is in a relationship that she doesn't see a connection with but I can't help her with that. I am not saying I am the one that will give her everything she wants in life but I know there is someone out there for her that will make her happy but she is denying herself that opportunity by being in the current relationship.
I will try to forget her but it will be hard since I see her everyday at work and we get a long really well. Now that I know she likes me too which I assume she did, I sort of want to wait it out for a bit longer and see if she finally wakes up and decides that maybe she needs to end her relationship. She mention they took a break about 6 months ago because they had some issues but she decided to give him another chance when she got sick and the guy looked after her. I think that is when they finally became a couple.
So I guess part of me is hoping that will happen again soon and I can be there for her when that moment comes. I also know I can't wait for her forever and maybe that will never happen anyways. So now I am hurting knowing there could have been something between us if I could have met her sooner or if I had told her how I felt when they had that break earlier in the year.
So now I am hurting knowing there could have been something between us if I could have met her sooner or if I had told her how I felt when they had that break earlier in the year.
Shoulda, coulda, woulda, if only, etc. is not a good way to live your life. Move on.
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