Telling a girl you like her but she is seeing someone who she doesn't like for a while now

[Athair]

Is this the equivalent of yearning for a guy who beats his wife, while convincing yourself that he won’t beat you coz it’s a different, deeper connection? This cracks me up. The woman is leading her boyfriend on for the sake of simplicity and politeness of all things, and she’s doing the exact same to you, and you actually believe it’s love. I’m cracking up but also really amused by your complete lack of awareness

[K12144]

Originally Posted by rayman1427

So I guess part of me is hoping that will happen again soon and I can be there for her when that moment comes. I also know I can't wait for her forever and maybe that will never happen anyways. So now I am hurting knowing there could have been something between us if I could have met her sooner or if I had told her how I felt when they had that break earlier in the year.

Again: do you really want to be with someone like this? Why? (No, really-- why?) How will you ever know if she's being honest with you, vs. just trying to spare your feelings? For that matter, how do you know if she really likes you, vs. just saying she does so as not to make you feel bad? (And yes, I do understand this attitude in SE Asia-- in Thailand they call it เกรงใจ-- "greng jai"-- and it can be a source of frustration for Westerners who don't understand what can be a carrying of politeness to extremes. Sometimes the best of intentions to not hurt someone can actually be more damaging in the long run if taken too far.)

In the meantime, hovering like a vulture hoping someone else's relationship will end so you can move in is not exactly a good move, in so many ways and for so many reasons.