Telling a girl you like her but she is seeing someone who she doesn't like for a while now (dating, boyfriend)
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I like this girl at work. She has been seeing some guy from work over 1 year in secret or at least she thinks it's a secret. She has told other people that she doesn't like the guy she is seeing and only sees him as a friend. But she can't find a way out. The guy is 6 years older than her about to turn 40 so I guess this is his last hope for a long term relationship. The girl was hurt before in her love life so maybe she feels that breaking up with him would be the same thing she went through. They are only seeing each other, they are not boyfriend or girlfriend or at least that is what she keeps telling everyone that she is single but seeing someone. I don't know how that works but either way I told her over a card and a gift that I have feelings for her.
I am on vacation and she saw my gift while I was gone. She told one of my colleagues at work that she is really confused and doesn't know what to do because a co-worker slash maybe friend likes me but I don't like her back and maybe she feels she will betray her if she accepts me. I think the girl may like me and I want to tell her in person how I feel when I get back but I am starting to have second thoughts.
I do not want her to make a rash decision but I also don't want her to be in a relationship she feels obligated to be. She doesn't like the guy I know that for a fact. The guy treats her nice, buys her stuff, takes her on trips etc etc but she says she has a boring time when they are together. She refers to him as a friend when she mentions hanging out with him.
Would it be wrong to chase after her knowing she is seeing someone but she doesn't like/love him and they been hanging out for at least 1 year or longer? The girl is very nice and sweet and I don't think she wants to hurt the guy but I feel she is hurting herself more by being with someone you don't have feelings for. All I know is she is confused AF on what to do and what she wants in her life. any advice?
Am I in the wrong by telling her how I feel even though I know she is seeing someone but not in a serious relationship?
She's in her 30s. She is capable of making her own decisions, and unless this other girl (btw, if she's an adult she is a woman) is her best friend she's not going to let that stand in the way if she's actually interested in you. Chances are she's not interested in you.
Why do you think she doesn't care for her BF? Have you heard it from her? Otherwise it's just rumor and speculation and wishful thinking on your part.
Even if what you say is true, it's up to the woman to decide what she wants. You cannot decide for her. You'd be smart to avoid any romantic overtures to her or any of your coworkers if you like your job.
She's an adult and should be capable to make her own decisions. You can let her know how you feel, but I wouldn't continuously chase her. You'll get her answer after you've let her know you want to date her, whether she does something about it, or, carries on in her relationship.
There could be a lot more going on in her relationship that you know nothing about. Remember, she is not your responsibility.
I like this girl at work. She has been seeing some guy from work over 1 year in secret or at least she thinks it's a secret. She has told other people that she doesn't like the guy she is seeing and only sees him as a friend. But she can't find a way out. The guy is 6 years older than her about to turn 40 so I guess this is his last hope for a long term relationship. The girl was hurt before in her love life so maybe she feels that breaking up with him would be the same thing she went through. They are only seeing each other, they are not boyfriend or girlfriend or at least that is what she keeps telling everyone that she is single but seeing someone. I don't know how that works but either way I told her over a card and a gift that I have feelings for her.
I am on vacation and she saw my gift while I was gone. She told one of my colleagues at work that she is really confused and doesn't know what to do because a co-worker slash maybe friend likes me but I don't like her back and maybe she feels she will betray her if she accepts me. I think the girl may like me and I want to tell her in person how I feel when I get back but I am starting to have second thoughts.
I do not want her to make a rash decision but I also don't want her to be in a relationship she feels obligated to be. She doesn't like the guy I know that for a fact. The guy treats her nice, buys her stuff, takes her on trips etc etc but she says she has a boring time when they are together. She refers to him as a friend when she mentions hanging out with him.
Would it be wrong to chase after her knowing she is seeing someone but she doesn't like/love him and they been hanging out for at least 1 year or longer? The girl is very nice and sweet and I don't think she wants to hurt the guy but I feel she is hurting herself more by being with someone you don't have feelings for. All I know is she is confused AF on what to do and what she wants in her life. any advice?
Am I in the wrong by telling her how I feel even though I know she is seeing someone but not in a serious relationship?
I have a rule of thumb that I've used since I started dating eons ago: Unless you KNOW that someone is ABSOLUTELY single and available, HANDS OFF..
As far as I'm concerned, this woman is already showing you her character. She's been seeing someone "in secret" for a year. Would YOU want to be "that" guy? She's telling others that she doesn't like the guy. Again, would YOU like to be "that" guy? You say she only sees him as a friend, and that they're not boyfriend/girlfriend. Does HE know that?
Drama queen, codependent. Best case scenario, she leaves him for you and leaves you for someone else after a year of complaining behind your back. Worst case scenario you stop pursuing bad news. Wait, I think I mixed up the best and worst
Find someone available, not someone whose affection you're trying to buy.
Same story....different user name. And it's always someone at work.
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