My boyfriend had dinner with another woman that he met once 3 years ago. Told her she’s attractive... (married, love)

[zentropa]

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

Now they can have code words & phrases, so in case you ever go into his social media OR look in his phone or whatever, it looks like he's having harmelss talk w/ a male buddy. For ex...

- did you go to that baseball game last night? could really mean him/her saying to the other = are you glad we got to 3rd base last night

Hahahaha oh lord. You can't be serious.

[Imaginary excuse]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

That you know of, they could have been DMing each other. How long have you been with this guy?

2 years. That’s thing their communication has been over DM. “Hope is well” “how are you?” Etc doesn’t sound like people who’ve been communicating

[RubyandPearl]

Originally Posted by Imaginary excuse

But when I looked at their messages he asked her last how she’d been. I went all the way back, years, and they really haven’t spoken all this time.

But didn't he say they kept up as friends on social media after the first date?

It's important to gather information but I do urge you to stop snooping, it's just not dignified.

Personally I couldn't live like that.

People are going to do what they're going to do.
Spying won't stop them.

[Katnan]

Originally Posted by RubyandPearl

But didn't he say they kept up as friends on social media after the first date?

It's important to gather information but I do urge you to stop snooping, it's just not dignified.

Personally I couldn't live like that.

People are going to do what they're going to do.
Spying won't stop them.

Snooping in someone's phone and spying on them aren't the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.

Something has to have changed, for him to go to dinner with this woman after one date 3 years ago. But the issue is your relationship, not her.

[Forever Blue]

Originally Posted by RubyandPearl

But didn't he say they kept up as friends on social media after the first date?...

Right, she did say that, so they'd been in contact all along. & before she said they'd been dating OVER 2 yrs. Now it's just, "2 yrs", which isn't long at all.

& notice how the OP ignores my posts...probably because she fears I'm right & doesn't want to acknowlege it because that would mean, maybe I'm actually right.

OP, don't be in denial & defend him. You can probably think back & see red flags that you often wondered about. I'm on your side. Dump this piece of ___.

[duster1979]

Originally Posted by Imaginary excuse

So you’re saying if he had told me beforehand then none of this would be suspicious?

Yes. Well, all but the part about wondering if she's a freak.

[Imaginary excuse]

Originally Posted by Forever Blue

Right, she did say that, so they'd been in contact all along. & before she said they'd been dating OVER 2 yrs. Now it's just, "2 yrs", which isn't long at all.

& notice how the OP ignores my posts...probably because she fears I'm right & doesn't want to acknowlege it because that would mean, maybe I'm actually right.

OP, don't be in denial & defend him. You can probably think back & see red flags that you often wondered about. I'm on your side. Dump this piece of ___.

We’ve been together 2 years and 4 months...it’s easier to say 2 years.

.....I didn’t know months made that much of a difference?

Being friends on social media is different than being friends and communicating for years

[oh-eve]

He asked her if she is a freak in bed?

[Suburban_Guy]

Yup the OP is in denial but in an odd way.

She knows something is off, and quite a few of us think this whole thing stinks to high heaven as well.

Yet, she tries to rationalize every red flag. If that's the case, then why even ask for 'advice' when it's apparent she will continue with this 'relationship' with a deceitful person?

[Imaginary excuse]

Originally Posted by oh-eve

He asked her if she is a freak in bed?

Yes