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Yea, he paid for the dinner and the Uber. I asked him why didn’t she pay and he said she tried to pay but he declined to be nice and could get a raincheck on her paying. The [snip] part is suggestive, how so?
I came here because I was feeling annoyed but then my friend said I had nothing to worry about, so that just made me feel confused.
I have a male friend who I have lunch with 3 or 4 times a year. He almost always pays, unless I can snatch the check before him.
My husband routinely traveled with female co-workers. He obviously had dinner with them. Since I never interrogated him when he came home after these trips, I don't know if he told them he thought they were attractive. I know several of them are attractive.
But, you either trust the guy or you don't. Sounds like the OP doesn't trust him. If so, time to take a hike. Trust is the number one requirement in a relationship.
Sounds like he's being honest. It's the OP who's snooping through his phone and questioning all their friends and complete strangers. That is the most blatant dishonest thing you can do.
My husband routinely traveled with female co-workers. He obviously had dinner with them. Since I never interrogated him when he came home after these trips, I don't know if he told them he thought they were attractive. I know several of them are attractive.
But, you either trust the guy or you don't. Sounds like the OP doesn't trust him. If so, time to take a hike. Trust is the number one requirement in a relationship.
Sounds like he's being honest. It's the OP who's snooping through his phone and questioning all their friends and complete strangers. That is the most blatant dishonest thing you can do.
So I’m in the wrong for snooping and he’s telling her repeatedly how attractive she is and asking her explicit questions but he’s the honest one? Got it.
So my boyfriend told me he was having dinner with a friend, which I had no problem with. He owns a fairly large company so he is always meeting people, having dinners, and networking.
The next day, after the dinner, I asked him how it was. He said, “it was good catching up with her”. As soon as he said “her” I started asking questions. I never heard of her before and asked when and how they met. He said they had one date 3 years ago but nothing came of it. I asked him if they’d stayed in contact developing a friendship. He said yea, they’ve stayed friends on social media. This brought me to my next question - how did this dinner come up and he said he messaged her asking her how she’d been. They exchanged the perfunctory catching questions and he mentioned how they had a good time last time and asked if she wanted to get dinner. He said he brought me up at dinner. I asked in which way. He said I asked how her dating life was going, what kind of guys she’s into. She asked him how his dating life was going. He told her, “It’s going really well. I hadn’t want to get married until this relationship. I want to to address the elephant in the room. I asked you here just to see how you’d been”. Then he went into how he and I met. I was annoyed but felt relieved that he told her about us. I don’t think he’s lying because I’m plastered all over his social media and he just posted a picture of us 3 days ago where he’s kissing my forehead with the caption ‘I love you’, so it’s obvious I’m in the picture. I left it there and didn’t care about him going to dinner with her anymore because it really did seem like they were catching up.
Although I wasn’t really bothered anymore I was still just a tiny bit curious what she looked like so I asked him to show me her insta. He pulled her up and she is drop dead model gorgeous. She looks just like Halle Berry except younger with beautiful curly hair. This ended up bothering me, so this lead me to asking me more questions. I asked him if anything happen. He said no the most they did was hug and he pecked her on the cheek when he got her an Uber home and was walking her to the car. I got pretty annoyed at this. Pecked on the cheek?? So, I flat out asked him if he thought she was attractive. He paused and said, “ I mean...she’s objectively attractive”. And I asked him if she was attracted to him and he said, “I don’t know. Doubt it. She told me I was attractive but I didn’t get the vibe she’s attracted to me. We’re friends”. I asked when she told him he was attractive. She told him he was attractive when they had dinner the night before. I asked him how that even come up and he said it’s because he was making fun of her height (she’s short) and he said, “5’2 looks good on you though. You’re very attractive and she said oh you’re attractive too”. Obviously this made me pretty mad.
I talked to my best friend she said my boyfriend told her about me and he’s not trying to keep me hidden, so I have nothing to worry about. She also said the peck on the cheek was just him being a gentleman and if he wanted to go further he would’ve. Basically, she said that it’s understandable that I’m annoyed but I have nothing to worry about. What are your thoughts?
1. We’re both in our 30s
2. The place they went to wasn’t fancy. It was a tapas place and they sat at bar.
He sounds very loose and like he jumps from relationship to relationship. As he said, he can cheat on you if he wants to. If he makes you uncomfortable, maybe find another guy that only focuses on you.
Mod cut. Normal guys don’t meet up for dinner with a Haley Berry lookalike that we had one date with a while back just to catch up. There is nothing to catch up on. This is the typical [snip] post that gets good advice from everyone and then the OP rejects everyone’s advice. If she stays with him, she deserves what will be coming to her for the rest of their relationship. She will never trust him and shouldn’t. [snip]
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-05-2022 at 02:10 PM..
Reason: Rude and off-topic; personal attacks.
We’ve been together 2 years and 4 months...it’s easier to say 2 years.
.....I didn’t know months made that much of a difference?
Being friends on social media is different than being friends and communicating for years
When I personally talk about time, I'm personally pretty precise. That's just me, but that doesn't matter much. 2 yrs or a little over, which I figure is 2-3 mos past the amt of yrs isn't that long either way.
The main thing is, he's disrepecting you doing this since you're supposed to be his GF.
Dump his stupid ___ rather than writing posts on here trying to justify him to us. You don't have to sugarcoat him to us. We know he's a ____. We just wish YOU would realize it & be strong enough to get the heck out.
I've said this time & time again in numerous Relationship threads on here. If these are the only types of trash losers on this earth, I'll VERY GLADLY stay alone & be a hell of a lot more content! Smart @rse losers like these are pieces of ___!
Why the heck are you still trying to hold on? What, does he have a little money or his company's finally going to take off & you want to be there to enjoy his financial, "success"? Who cares! Like I said already, I don't care if he's a millionaire or you've been w/ him 30 yrs. YOU're the one who's living in this misery, doubt, worry, confusion, etc. while he's I'm sure already been sleeping w/ her & God knows who else &having a grand time. Life's way, way, way too short for that BS.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy
Yup the OP is in denial but in an odd way.
She knows something is off, and quite a few of us think this whole thing stinks to high heaven as well.
Yet, she tries to rationalize every red flag. If that's the case, then why even ask for 'advice' when it's apparent she will continue with this 'relationship' with a deceitful person?
Quote:
Originally Posted by trusso11783
[snip] Normal guys don’t meet up for dinner with a Haley Berry lookalike that we had one date with a while back just to catch up. There is nothing to catch up on. This is the typical [snip] post that gets good advice from everyone and then the OP rejects everyone’s advice. If she stays with him, she deserves what will be coming to her for the rest of their relationship. She will never trust him and shouldn’t. [snip]
Right! "In denial, but in an odd way". I know that's your nice way of saying she's downright...um, unwise, but I wish I could say another word. I know we ALL have some harsher words we could say, but we don't want to get banned. We need to ALL of us stop wasting our time posting here anymore! Here's another one who keeps defending him to us, but he's the one making her look like a fool each day longer she stays w/ him.
No. Even if nothing has happened and he has no intention of anything happening, he is behaving with impropriety.
I believe that he has an obligation (as do you and people in relationships) to maintain the appearance of propriety. It is not acceptable to run around doing things that look bad, if you care about your partner.
While my husband does have female friends, he would never ask something sexual like that, and if he is going to dinner with a female friend he would invite me. I may or may not attend.
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"In denial, but in an odd way". I know that's your nice way of saying she's downright...um, unwise, but I wish I could say another word. I know we ALL have some harsher words we could say, but we don't want to get banned. We need to ALL of us stop wasting our time posting here anymore! Here's another one who keeps defending him to us, but he's the one making her look like a fool each day longer she stays w/ him.
