Anyone ever dated a dealer before? (guys, young, 2014, American)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
LOL, yes, that first line feels great, and then you spend all night trying to chase that feeling and can't quite it back the same way. Waste of time and money and causes nosebleeds.
Cops will tell you that they pull someone over for speeding who looks like they're doing coke (Hint: Big dilated pupils), they will perform all the sobriety tests perfectly.
IMO, nice, kind and respectful doesn't make up for his issues. I truly don't understand why you're investing any time in someone who has "serious issues", the type you already knew right from the start are a deal-breaker for you.
I'm not really investing that much time in him. We're keeping it casual and I know this won't turn into anything serious, I'm still on the dating apps and actively looking. I just don't want to put myself in danger of getting arrested or anything.
I'm not really investing that much time in him. We're keeping it casual and I know this won't turn into anything serious, I'm still on the dating apps and actively looking. I just don't want to put myself in danger of getting arrested or anything.
All of this aside, there are people who don't deal with these issues who you can date casually. Why even get involved with a person who's a high functioning cokehead; who manages his anxiety by doing lines? Like I wrote earlier, even in my younger years (I'm forty-six, so not that much older than you) spent around a fair number of that type of person, I saw the wisdom in limiting my interactions with them--not out of fear of being arrested, but in realizing that that lifestyle gets old really quickly despite the good times that come along with people who have sufficient funds to support a cocaine habit.
It's hard to see the logic in continuing to see this guy other than getting to enjoy the material perks of dating him. I'm not saying that he's not a nice, kind, and considerate guy, but somehow, I surmise that it's doubtful that "niceness" alone combined with a cocaine habit would be enough for most women to continue seeing him without him also taking women on some stellar and pricey dates.
To be honest, thanking him for the good times that you had with him, wishing him well, and moving on sooner rather than later might be the wisest move(s).
I'm not really investing that much time in him. We're keeping it casual and I know this won't turn into anything serious, I'm still on the dating apps and actively looking. I just don't want to put myself in danger of getting arrested or anything.
If you don't plan to have a future with him, you dislike how he lives his life, and you're worried it might cause trouble for you, what is your motivation for continuing to see him? Is he buying you things? Are in some sort of financial arrangement?
Had dated for a few months a self proclaimed born again Christian. I mention this as it leads into his former life.
The gent was a drug runner in the south states. Got hauled in and did time in the federal pen.
He got his ' new' life when released .
Got a trade skill. Did a bit of time being a shared custody Dad.
He was on paper a stable chap.
When one evening he opens up about his federal pen time. He was fairly honest about his criminal history. Owned it up to a point.. He was extremely angry that the feds interrupted his drug running. He said they actually wanted me to roll on my connections. I said... You mean the drugs that would eventually go into high school and communities where kids are more apt to O.D? Okay, yeah... Shame on them for impeding on your well intentions !
Pretty sure that slap of reality didn't bring us closer.
So while he was a reformed from prison .. and staying out of drug running. He lost my respect entirely when he couldn't own up to how his money maker took lives.
I sense you will make a nice enabler for this gent. Justifying his use as.
. But he's such a nice guy!
I was a former user of that nose candy. It's not a glamour drug. It does damage the heart and liver.
I doubt he's a dealer... Just check if his kitchen has drug scales... That might be a clue..
I say keep him to yourself though... Most good women don't need him circulating out there.
I actually do know how to pick them, this is probably the first guy I've been seeing who has some serious issues. Also, this guys actually is a really nice guy despite his problem. He's very respectful and kind, and IMO knows how to treat a woman better than most other guys (and not because he wines and dines me).
Did you know he was doing coke before you started dating or was this something you figured out after you had gone out a couple of times?
I have never knowingly gone out with someone who was doing coke, but I was curious how difficult it was to tell.
LOL, yes, that first line feels great, and then you spend all night trying to chase that feeling and can't quite it back the same way. Waste of time and money and causes nosebleeds.
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I actually do know how to pick them, this is probably the first guy I've been seeing who has some serious issues. Also, this guys actually is a really nice guy despite his problem. He's very respectful and kind, and IMO knows how to treat a woman better than most other guys (and not because he wines and dines me).
Sure, aside from being a cokehead he's a real winner. Such a prize!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,037,797 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
If you don't plan to have a future with him, you dislike how he lives his life, and you're worried it might cause trouble for you, what is your motivation for continuing to see him? Is he buying you things? Are in some sort of financial arrangement?
If they have fun when out together, that's plenty for most people. Not everything needs a "future".
The only wierd thing about this is why an adult woman has to ask questions to strangers about every person they have a few dates with. That's a serious concern to me. Not knowing what is smart or dumb, or good for them or not, and not being able to make a decision for themselves time and time again, every couple of weeks.
Did you know he was doing coke before you started dating or was this something you figured out after you had gone out a couple of times?
I have never knowingly gone out with someone who was doing coke, but I was curious how difficult it was to tell.
Not difficult to tell at all. There is a slight chance that they are on medication for ADD but most of the time, it is coke if they talk a little too much, too fast, possibly sweat a bit too much, their hands are fidgety, they have dry mouth, maybe lick their teeth/lips, touch nose, ...
I can almost already tell just by looking at pictures of people. Casual, long term users are often times the kind of people who like to show off and pretend to be more than they actually are. They wear gold chains, dress fancy, want to be the center of attention, are a bit arrogant and cocky. I can meet a person and even if the person is sober at that time, I can tell you, he possibly does coke or used to. Makes me think of American Psycho - where Christian Bale freaks out because someone else's business card was more fancy than his.
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