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I'm 21, a senior in college, and an openly gay male. I started seeing this guy about 7 months ago and I really fell for him. Things were great, but now he doesn't seem interested anymore and just wants to be friends. It's been killing me, but I'm tired of hurting. How do I get over him? Any advise?
I'm 21, a senior in college, and an openly gay male. I started seeing this guy about 7 months ago and I really fell for him. Things were great, but now he doesn't seem interested anymore and just wants to be friends. It's been killing me, but I'm tired of hurting. How do I get over him? Any advise?
This is a tough one. You need to realize that he wasn't the perfect guy. Part of what would have made him the perfect guy, would be that you wouldn't have to do anything but be yourself in order for him to love you.
So you're not "missing out" on that best possible thing. You're really not. The best possible thing is coming. Keep your eyes open.
He's a sophomore. We have so many mutual friends as well. Last night I went to my friends party and he was there with a new guy, I was there with a new guy too. When I saw them hugging on each other I got physically ill, and I had to go to the bathroom and throw up. I've been in a couple long term relationships before. But I can't shake this guy.
Gay men just use each other for sex that is why you feel so terrible. You were used.
So live life. Put on a wig, a mini skirt, some high heels, and do a couple of drag shows to make youself feel more confident.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GottaHerdOn
He's a sophomore. We have so many mutual friends as well. Last night I went to my friends party and he was there with a new guy, I was there with a new guy too. When I saw them hugging on each other I got physically ill, and I had to go to the bathroom and throw up. I've been in a couple long term relationships before. But I can't shake this guy.
Well, considering we never had sex... and he's still a virgin. Somehow???
I'm not a tranny... I don't find that appealing personally.
Please understand that that particular poster has more problems keeping a relationship than probably eighty percent of this forum. With that said, the advice (unless it was a failed attempt at humor) should probably be disregarded in your case.
Again...you need to "glimpse". "Glimpsing" means trying to see past your current feelings to something very logical, very straight-up, something a friend might tell you about a relationship. What would you tell a friend who was going through what you're going through? That's the only way to see past the emotions...because when you're in love, unless you're made of iron, the emotions are very very hard to get past. And even though emotions can be a wonderful thing, in a case like yours, they trap you and keep you unhappy.
Have you dated at all since this guy? Can you stomach the idea yet? How about just one ultra-ultra super casual date? Coffee. Just to tell your own subconscious that your life is continuing on. It's a start and it's a hard step but after a breakup, it can be a tremendous help.
I feel ya...I'm happily married now but I've had sad relationships in the past. It takes time but you will start to feel better about all this. I promise. Hang in there.
What Dr. JerZ means to say is you are making a big deal out of nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Please understand that that particular poster has more problems keeping a relationship than probably eighty percent of this forum. With that said, the advice (unless it was a failed attempt at humor) should probably be disregarded in your case.
Again...you need to "glimpse". "Glimpsing" means trying to see past your current feelings to something very logical, very straight-up, something a friend might tell you about a relationship. What would you tell a friend who was going through what you're going through? That's the only way to see past the emotions...because when you're in love, unless you're made of iron, the emotions are very very hard to get past. And even though emotions can be a wonderful thing, in a case like yours, they trap you and keep you unhappy.
Have you dated at all since this guy? Can you stomach the idea yet? How about just one ultra-ultra super casual date? Coffee. Just to tell your own subconscious that your life is continuing on. It's a start and it's a hard step but after a breakup, it can be a tremendous help.
I feel ya...I'm happily married now but I've had sad relationships in the past. It takes time but you will start to feel better about all this. I promise. Hang in there.
What Dr. JerZ means to say is you are making a big deal out of nothing.
No, that's not what Dr. JerZ meant to say. A truly love-based relationship is hardly "nothing".
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