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It would be great if I, had a girlfriend but unfortunately, I don't.
I don't understand why not having a girlfriend isn't great.....
Whether you're in a relationship or single, both have their pros and cons. With a girlfriend comes the expected obligation to spend time with her. So, let's say that you enjoy working out at the gym after a long day of work. Guess what; some girlfriends have no desire to go to the gym and wants you at home on a couch watching television with them instead (and they expect this every night when you get home). And let's face it; men and women rarely agree on how a living room should be decorated and how a bathroom should be kept. I've only seen one girl in my entire life who kept a clean and uncluttered bathroom sink area (and only a handful knew how to keep their living room and the rest of their place clean).
I don't know about you, but for me being single (though I'm not currently single) comes with the freedom of having a place that is clean. It also comes with the freedom of working out as often as I please. If I want to vacation for a few days in a specific location, I can go to that location without consulting with anyone except myself (a girlfriend or a wife expects you to run any vacation plans by them first "out of respect").
Being in a relationship versus being single is definitely a trade-off, and I feel as though most people end up with an ex because they underestimated just how much of a trade-off it is. Even in the best of relationships it is hard to remain free and autonomous (without upsetting your significant other). For example; you might have an ex that you're still friends with. In the vast majority of instances your new girlfriend is going to have a problem with that friendship. You might be a person who doesn't necessarily have a pornography addiction, but from time to time you watch it for entertainment. In most cases your new girlfriend is going to have a problem with that (especially if she's the type who goes through your phone and catches it). Even your lady friends that you've never had a relationship with are going to bother a lot of girlfriends (this includes female relatives that you are close with who are attractive). Oh YES, if you hang out and talk on the phone a lot with "cousin Patrice" (the cousin that went to modeling School) most new girlfriends are going to be suspicious of that cousin. The least jealous woman on the planet is pretty damn jealous and controlling when she's in love.
I'm not saying that being in a relationship is all bad, but you've got to consider the thoughts, feelings, and reactions of your significant other in all that you do and in all that you say. For many of us this means giving up the female friends and the pornography. It means cutting back on hanging out with the fellas at the gym. It can even mean choosing not to work that extra shift on the weekends or not taking that lucrative out of town assignment in which you're gone for 3 to 4 days.
There's a reason why so many guys (that are athletically built and fit) are single. It's hard to get in that hour or two a day at the gym when there's a girlfriend at home waiting for you (and she's mad that you're not home yet).
I personally prefer being married over being single. However I'm not afraid to respectfully voice my opinion about the things within the relationship that I don't like (which are the exact same things that I would not have to deal with as a single guy). As a matter of fact I'm willing to wager that 99% of all couples disputes are people complaining about the things that they didn't have to deal with when they were single.
So my advice to anybody who is single and they think that being in a relationship is better; understand that you will need to go into a relationship with a willingness to let go of some things that you love about being single. You don't necessarily have to let all of those things go (a person who truly loves you will not expect you to let all of yourself go), but you have to be willing to let some things go in order to save the relationship. It's a trade-off.....
....and? It would be great if I had a pony (or a late-60s Camaro, or a beach house, or, hell, the ability to keep my houseplants alive), but I don't. A lot of people think it would be great if they had a lot of things they don't have... good health, enough money to live, to live not in a slum or a war zone, family or friends, etc. Life is hard and unfortunately, much of the time we will lack something we want.
Meanwhile, what are you doing to meet someone? And did your post have an actual question or topic for discussion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy
Are you 27 years of age and also a bit on the autistic spectrum?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
Dude, according to some sources, you live in one of the best parts of the country to meet someone and settle down. Get out there and network.
I promise you, North Carolina is not the greatest for dating and marriage.
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