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Maybe your husband isn’t a very emotional person and didn’t “feel” things like you did. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t into you. Best not to poke at this anymore. You got together and have been that way for awhile. The past is past.
Now, the real question is why is this bothering you now? Are you facing new challenges? Why is this relevant today?
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 1 day ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
Maybe your husband isn’t a very emotional person and didn’t “feel” things like you did. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t into you. Best not to poke at this anymore. You got together and have been that way for awhile. The past is past.
Now, the real question is why is this bothering you now? Are you facing new challenges? Why is this relevant today?
Ellie, truthfully, how would it make you feel, if your lifelong partner states he can't remember the passion of the first part of their relationship?
For me, I'm completely flattered and warmed by my husband's memories of me, and admiration and love and passion. When we remember some old times, it brings a light to his eyes, and I know he recalls the passion. As do I. One of my fondest memories is watching him in the courtyard of our college apartment complex, playing frisbee and being so in love with him. That memory still warms me.
If your partner says he can't remember those feelings, or in fact implies he never had them, that's very hurtful.
Maybe your husband isn’t a very emotional person and didn’t “feel” things like you did. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t into you. Best not to poke at this anymore. You got together and have been that way for awhile. The past is past.
Now, the real question is why is this bothering you now? Are you facing new challenges? Why is this relevant today?
I agree. Both my husband and I don't care and don't remember much about the 'feelings' when we first met.
We are way beyond the first flush... what matters is how we love and care about each other now. And that is exponentially above what our 'feelings' were 49 years ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighSchoolSweethearts
The other day he told me he doesn’t remember anything from 15 years old as far as feelings for me.
He doesn’t remember falling in love or having feelings at all, it’s too long ago he said.
OP, why dwell on emotions that may or may not have existed back when you both were 15?
Ellie, truthfully, how would it make you feel, if your lifelong partner states he can't remember the passion of the first part of their relationship?
For me, I'm completely flattered and warmed by my husband's memories of me, and admiration and love and passion. When we remember some old times, it brings a light to his eyes, and I know he recalls the passion. As do I. One of my fondest memories is watching him in the courtyard of our college apartment complex, playing frisbee and being so in love with him. That memory still warms me.
If your partner says he can't remember those feelings, or in fact implies he never had them, that's very hurtful.
You see, not everyone is alike. You’re borrowing trouble by digging into history and insisting he go someplace he may no longer feel comfortable going. Focus on now. Don’t feel hurt. You know it was true. Your husband may be dealing with issues that eclipse whatever you want from him.
People who ruminate over the past make some people feel uncomfortable. I’m not a psychologist but I’m currently living with a similar situation in my family. The best I can come up with for them is understanding “love languages.” Look it up. Not everyone expresses (or remembers) love in the same way.
I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for 28 almost 29 years. Other than a 3 year separation we’ve been together from 15 to 48 years old.
The other day he told me he doesn’t remember anything from 15 years old as far as feelings for me.
He doesn’t remember falling in love or having feelings at all, it’s too long ago he said.
I didn’t think anyone could forget how it felt when they fell in love with someone, especially not their first love. The comment hurt me pretty bad but I have blown it off
I’m wondering is this something other people forget too in this case? I remember every butterfly and how songs made me feel even during that time. I’m pretty hurt and starting to feel Like my husband isn’t even I love at all anymore and “doesn’t want to remember”.
So, is it normal to forget how you felt when you fell in love with someone?
What came to mind is that your husband is 48, an age where people look back at the first half of their life and often wonder and sometimes doubt their decisions. I don't think he doesn't want to remember how he felt, but that he's trying desperately to remember and can't. He needs to remember, but can't.
That's probably less about you or your relationship and more about him having a personal crisis. Couples counseling might be a good idea, but encouraging him to speak to someone individually may be better.
Assuming you have a good life and marriage in the today, why stir up drama about something that doesn’t really matter. Seems like your energy can be spent on more meaningful issues.
Really.
And I don't know that it would be that unusual. Its easier to remember actions and thoughts than emotions.
St 25 he might only have been thinking about sec, not romantic feelings.
It sounds as of there are current issues, tho.....
at this point he doesn’t want to Talk about anything. ESPECIALLY feelings.
That doesn't sound like s good relationship. Why was there a three year separation, and why did the two of you get back together? Change can be scary, but maybe a life without him would be better.
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