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I have this classmate whom i've known for 2 years. He used to have a girlfriend but he broke up with her last year.
When we got to know each other, he would always tease me, wanted to be friends with me. He asked me once whether i had a boyfriend, and asked me about my relationship. Then, he would always try to send me back home after class. He used to sing my name whenever he saw me, and always tried to sit near me in class. I got so embarassed i ignored him. We didn't talk for 6 months after that cos' we x see each other so often. Then, when we met again during a lunch session with other friends, he sat next to me and told one of my classmates that i thought he was in love with me. Suffice to say, i got embarassed and ignored him for quite some time.
Now, we are in the same classes. we both have started talking to each other again. He does not tease me so much and does not sing my name anymore. He still tries to send me back home (which is on the way to his place). Once, he caught me alone and talked to me for about 20 minutes(?). He knows which the name of the road to my house (which is in another state) , he has asked me whether i go out clubbing often. Once when we were eating out with friends, he took my wallet and proceeded to look through it. A few days ago, i told my friends that my ipod was spoiled, and he offered to fix it for me.
The funny thing is, he will only do all of those things when he's with me alone or around me friends. he ignores me when he is with his friends. He also has not asked me out for a date.
Is he just flirting with me, just being friends, or scared of me rejecting him if he asks me out?
I'd say he doesn't know what he's doing. It sounds like he likes you but is probably clueless about how to behave. Yes, he's probably afraid of rejection, but if you make a move that is too forward you may scare him off.
Do you want to scare him off or do you want for him to like you? Or are you happy with how things are now? The odds are good for you to keep things as they are. You're definitely friends.
If you want to find out if he likes you, flirt with him a little, give him a little gift like a cool sticker or an old shoelace and see how he reacts. A flower, twig, or leaf will work equally well. Boys don't know the difference. All they know is that you gave them something odd and it puzzles them. So they want to know more.
Also make sure you thank him for fixing your iPod, if you haven't already. That was a nice thing for him to do.
As far as how he behaves around his friends - that's because he's just a guy who doesn't want his friends to know he likes someone, in case he gets rejected. Don't worry about that part for now.
You've ignored him twice before when he made public gestures? No wonder the young man would be shy towards you in public. I think both of you are plenty old enough to be putting your feelings out there to each other and saying where you stand. You're in college, right? So, tell him that you'd like to get together and do something. From what I understand having two college age kids, it's very common to "hang out" with a girl/guy as sort of a first step showing interest. Then you "talk" which is suppose to be a bit more serious, but without comitting - you go out, you talk alot, etc. Then if you want to step it up and state that you're "going out"... you can do that. For now, you and he need to have more adult like discussions and just enjoy each other's company. But PLEASE don't "ignore" the young man again.
Well, the first time i ignored him was because he was still with his girlfriend at the time. The second time was because he also started to ignore me, and he was still with his girlfriend. I didn't like it that he was paying attention to me at that time even though he was with his girlfriend. He became single since early this year.
That's why i was unsure whether he was just majorly flirting with me from the very beginning, or whether he just wanted to be good friends with me. If he did like me a lot, he would have broken up with his girlfriend a long time ago.
If he did like me a lot, he would have broken up with his girlfriend a long time ago.
Not necessarily. He may not have broken up with his girlfriend because he was trying to be a good boyfriend. A person can like someone else while in a relationship. The fact that he didn't act on his impulse by breaking up with her might have been because he didn't want to hurt her or he wanted for the relationship to end first. Those are not bad things.
I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and just flirt with him gently. Don't embarrass yourself by being too pushy and give him opportunities to move forward if he's feeling confident enough to handle it.
the guy looked at my personal details, like identification card, friend's name cards etc. I x think he was checking for condoms....LOL.
i assumed u are a guy, and guys think about sex most of the time. hence the condom check.
Honestly it sounds like he values your friendship and has been treading water since. He has most likely weighed taking it further and is afraid to risk it, if you don't make the move it will probably die a slow death.
You've ignored him twice before when he made public gestures? No wonder the young man would be shy towards you in public. I think both of you are plenty old enough to be putting your feelings out there to each other and saying where you stand. You're in college, right? So, tell him that you'd like to get together and do something. From what I understand having two college age kids, it's very common to "hang out" with a girl/guy as sort of a first step showing interest. Then you "talk" which is suppose to be a bit more serious, but without comitting - you go out, you talk alot, etc. Then if you want to step it up and state that you're "going out"... you can do that. For now, you and he need to have more adult like discussions and just enjoy each other's company. But PLEASE don't "ignore" the young man again.
You took the words right out of my mouth. Its time for OP to stop the mouse and cat game before its too late.
Lighten up and have fun.
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