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been with my gf for almost a year. I really do love her. she's sweet, fun to be around, I enjoy being with her but at the same time when I'm in public and see a attractive girl I think to myself "damn she's hot" I never stare or say anything out loud but i do feel guilty at times because it makes me wonder if I don't find my girlfriend as hot as them
I do think my gf is very cute and pretty and I do get turned on thinking of her but I don't know
I had 2 girls approach me, at different times, about hanging out and gettign together and told both no thanks I'm seeing someone, and at times think damn I missed out on them. I feel like that's wrong as well
One year is not a lifetime. If it were me I'd cut the gf loose and date around a bit more before settling down with one person. Your behavior is normal for someone who is re-evaluating their options and choices. Better to do it now than a few more years down the road when things are more complicated.
been with my gf for almost a year. I really do love her. she's sweet, fun to be around, I enjoy being with her but at the same time when I'm in public and see a attractive girl I think to myself "damn she's hot" I never stare or say anything out loud but i do feel guilty at times because it makes me wonder if I don't find my girlfriend as hot as them
I do think my gf is very cute and pretty and I do get turned on thinking of her but I don't know
I had 2 girls approach me, at different times, about hanging out and gettign together and told both no thanks I'm seeing someone, and at times think damn I missed out on them. I feel like that's wrong as well
Is this normal behavior
This is normal and I struggled with this for years myself. In fact letting it get out of hand. Your not blind and so other attractive people will come into your life however it is important to remember why out of all those women you choose your partner and to focus on this. If you let your heart by swayed by lustful beavhour you will be enslaved by it and end up losing out to someone that will make a great wife and potential mother to your children, where you are best friends and share the most amazing and passionate moments in life
I can assure you of this. If you ended up with any of those women in particular you described as hot after a few months of being with them you would do exactly the same thing with them. We men can sometimes be taken back by how attractive a woman is. It can literally light a fire inside us, this is an advantage as such fire Is what drives us to pursue them in the first place while they tend to hold back somewhat however something happens after a period of time where somehow the veil is removed. We realize she has flaws like everyone else and so we bring them back down to earth. It's why typically in the early stages the man pursues the woman with such vigor and wants to spend as much time as possible with her and yet months later it is her who is asking the man to spend more time with her rather than his friends or anything else he has put more time into
I had a mate when I lived in New Zealand who was a womanizer. He was the typical tall, dark and handsome with a strong Irish accent in a foreign land. He loved the bachelor life throughout his 30's and what really stopped him settling for any one woman in particular was the fact that as soon as he went out he was able to pick up almost any woman of his choosing. In the end however he got sick of this and finally found someone though I'm not sure they are still together. I don't hear much from him anymore as I don't live there however my point is that one has to remember that acting upon this does not lead to happiness. It's merely short term excitement and then when it's gone, you realize you have hooked up with someone you have little connection with
Therefore while I will say do not worry about such feelings my advice to you would be to not let it get a hold of you to the point you act on it. Are you at all religious? Perhaps you could seek some guidance there as it's not going to be easy. You are going to experience ALOT of women in very provocative clothing and some may even approach you. You need to make sure you know why you are with your partner and what it is that you seeking. A life partner or a fling. I truly feel many people lose out to the potential love of their lives by giving in to a few weak moments In life. Don't let that be you. If you are truly not meant to be with your partner make sure it is because of good reasons and not caused by self destructive behavior
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonpies88
been with my gf for almost a year. I really do love her. she's sweet, fun to be around, I enjoy being with her but at the same time when I'm in public and see a attractive girl I think to myself "damn she's hot" I never stare or say anything out loud but i do feel guilty at times because it makes me wonder if I don't find my girlfriend as hot as them
I do think my gf is very cute and pretty and I do get turned on thinking of her but I don't know
I had 2 girls approach me, at different times, about hanging out and gettign together and told both no thanks I'm seeing someone, and at times think damn I missed out on them. I feel like that's wrong as well
Is this normal behavior
Yes it is normal to think this way. But brother, this is not the time to be out “in the field†if you can help it. It SUCKS out here. Your woman sounds like they are 80% of what one would want in a romantic relationship. I say again, it ain’t worth it to leave that on the table to try to get the missing 20%.
I suspect all men think like that when they see a pretty girl. Mostly, they control themselves. Consider it window shopping without any intention of buying.
Men also feel that way about hot cars, except most of them can look, admire, and pass it by while they are sensible about what they actually do as opposed to what they dream.
I'm sure you must know how difficult it is to find a partner that suits you, and how lucky you are to have a partner like that. Weigh it up. If you really prefer to chase after hot chicks, break it off and let her go on to another lucky guy who really appreciates her, knows what he has got, and who will treat her well. If you know you have a good thing and want to keep it, be discrete about looking and don't act on it.
Men like to look. Men also usually have enough self-control that they can look without touching.
Yes, I would throw holy water on yourself and pray that God does not strike you down tomorrow for (gulp) finding another woman attractive. I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure that's one of the 7 deadly sins.
There is always going to be hotter than you AND your GF, neither of you are blind, so you will notice.
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Very normal- for someone that's no longer in 'love' with another person. If you truly love someone you're not going to have such wandering thoughts to the point you seriously think of acting on them.
Things happen, as some say best to cut things off even though it's been a year.
Very normal- for someone that's no longer in 'love' with another person. If you truly love someone you're not going to have such wandering thoughts to the point you seriously think of acting on them.
Things happen, as some say best to cut things off even though it's been a year.
Oh balderdash.
I've been married over 30 years. I am still able to enjoy the sight of an attractive woman. I have never acted upon these urges, nor do I expect to.
Pretty women don't become ugly when you meet your one and only. It's just that this becomes irrelevant. Don't let the little head tell the big head what to do.
I've been married over 30 years. I am still able to enjoy the sight of an attractive woman. I have never acted upon these urges, nor do I expect to.
Pretty women don't become ugly when you meet your one and only. It's just that this becomes irrelevant. Don't let the little head tell the big head what to do.
Seriously.
OP, there will always be someone hotter than your girlfriend.
And guess what.... she will always see someone hotter than you.
Have some self-control.
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