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Then she should talk to her doctor, not her lover.
I'm fairly certain she wasn't depressed when she was getting pounded by his steaming man sausage.
A confused person suffering from depression may not realize at first what they need to do, or who they need to be talking to. They are in pain, they gravitate to ANYTHING that will allievate that pain.
, good God, this guy needs to stop being a Sad Sack and grow a pair.
And it's easy to spot the posts that simply name-call, deride, and preen from their high and mighty superiority, showing off what they like to think of as wit, at anyone's expense, especially if it is someone with a problem.
yeah, yeah, it's a forum, anything goes, use that to justify your verbal smirking and low-grade pot shots
Newsflash: It is not funny. It is not witty. Humor at someone elses expense is better known as hostility and verbal aggression.
just want to point out how offensive and juvenile this sort of name-calling and derision is.
And how respect for the person posting it goes out the window.
May you be on the receiving end of your own behaviors soon and often so that you have the opportunity to upgrade your own social skills in their formative we hope but currently invisible stage.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 06-04-2008 at 02:54 PM..
My wife and i have been married for a little over three years. We had a great marriage until after we had our baby a little over a year ago. With a baby comes alot of responsibility and there was no time to ourselves to spend together. We drifted apart and recently she said that she didnt feel like we were spouses anymore because we dont spend time together. She then started contacting an old boyfriend by email. She said that she wanted to spend a few days there just to put him out of her mind so we can try to work things out. I agreed. Thinking back it was a stupid idea because i came across some of their emails and its apparent that ive been cheated on. I'm not sure if sex was part of it but certainly cuddling and kissing. Thats cheating, too. I asked her when she came back from her trip if anything happened and she said no but these emails are to the contrary. I dont want to tell her that i read her email. What should i do? He is a 3 hour flight away so i dont really have to worry about something happening again but still.
I"m sorry this is happening to you. I have to second printing those emails before you confront her. They will be gold if you end up in divorce court.
I don't give this much hope. She's been lying to you, as you know from the emails. The combination of cheating and lying is deadly.
She dragged you into an "open relationship", talk to her, maybe she lets you go out with other women.
And ya see....if he told her he had to go get someone out of HIS mind he'd be the jerk in this relationship....he can't blame it on postpartum depression....he can only blame it on the fact that he wanted to bang her sister.
And it's easy to spot the posts that simply name-call, deride, and preen from their high and mighty superiority, showing off what they like to think of as wit, at anyone's expense, especially if it is someone with a problem.
yeah, yeah, it's a forum, anything goes, use that to justify your verbal smirking and low-grade pot shots
Newsflash: you are not funny. Humor at someone elses expense is better known as hostility.
just want to point out how offensive and juvenile this sort of name-calling and derision is. perhaps when you are on the receiving end of it soon and often you might think about upgrading your own social skills.
Oh, quit with the pious nonsense. It's time for strong medicine, not a bunch of your mealy-mouthed psychobabble.
Why? Because I speak from very fresh personal experience. In my own family, this very thing happened, and the OP is acting identically to my former brother-in-law. He just took it and took it, and was afraid to confront, or say anything, and would ask everybody on the planet what we thought he should do about my sister.
Our advice was unanimous. Do something about it NOW. Because allowing the situation to go on means her respect for him eroded by the day, created misery for their three children, and kept the marriage in a constant state of limbo for three looong years. All because he wimped out.
In the end, it was far crueler to him and his children to take the Casper Milquetoast route that you guys seem to favor. And, in the end, his children hated him for not stepping up sooner.
So yeah, if I can use strong language to figuratively slap this poor guy into actually behaving like an adult with a semblance of self-respect, I'm going to do it. If he gets angry enough, maybe he'll do something about the youknowwhat.
And ya see....if he told her he had to go get someone out of HIS mind he'd be the jerk in this relationship....he can't blame it on postpartum depression....he can only blame it on the fact that he wanted to bang her sister.
I'm not blaming all episodes of cheating on postpartum depression or clinical depression. But when these things happen there is usually some component of depresssion involved. Of course, some folks are just selfish, immoral clods with no character - but not all who cheat are. You can't just throw away a marriage and family until you at least ascertain which category your cheating spouse falls into.
I'm not blaming all episodes of cheating on postpartum depression or clinical depression. But when these things happen there is usually some component of depresssion involved. Of course, some folks are just selfish, immoral clods with no character - but not all who cheat are. You can't just throw away a marriage and family until you at least ascertain which category your cheating spouse falls into.
That's valid. She can get treatment for depression during their separation.
Oh, quit with the pious nonsense. It's time for strong medicine, not a bunch of your mealy-mouthed psychobabble.
Why? Because I speak from very fresh personal experience. In my own family, this very thing happened, and the OP is acting identically to my former brother-in-law. He just took it and took it, and was afraid to confront, or say anything, and would ask everybody on the planet what we thought he should do about my sister.
Our advice was unanimous. Do something about it NOW. Because allowing the situation to go on means her respect for him eroded by the day, created misery for their three children, and kept the marriage in a constant state of limbo for three looong years. All because he wimped out.
In the end, it was far crueler to him and his children to take the Casper Milquetoast route that you guys seem to favor. And, in the end, his children hated him for not stepping up sooner.
So yeah, if I can use strong language to figuratively slap this poor guy into actually behaving like an adult with a semblance of self-respect, I'm going to do it. If he gets angry enough, maybe he'll do something about the youknowwhat.
cpg, you are one of my favorite posters, so I hope I don't offend you by what I am trying to say here...
But this post is a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier today when I told Ivorytickler that her experience with a particular situation colored her views on the subject in a very personal way, basically tainting those views. You are basing all your advice on your family situation and what you lived thru - but to be fair, this guy needs some objectivity.
cpg, you are one of my favorite posters, so I hope I don't offend you by what I am trying to say here...
But this post is a perfect example of what I was talking about earlier today when I told Ivorytickler that her experience with a particular situation colored her views on the subject in a very personal way, basically tainting those views. You are basing all your advice on your family situation and what you lived thru - but to be fair, this guy needs some objectivity.
Why thank you for the compliment. But I would argue that I am being objective, because I've already seen the results when this kind of situation has not been dealt with decisively.
Look, I understand depression. I had a father with acute depression. It was a hellish experience for the family. We understood when he just couldn't drag himself out of bed. We understood when he didn't really engage with his family for years and years. We understood when his work suffered as a result. We understood. We understood. And we understood some more. We tiptoed around his rages at trivial offenses, we did our level best to not appear hurt when he lashed out at us for no apparent reason.
The result was endless misery, and a family that was exhausted by the ordeal of propping him up, even though he wouldn't seek treatment. In retrospect, my mother said, "I should have packed you kids and moved in with my mother. Because it ruined everybody's childhood."
Because when people use depression as a crutch, then they use it as an excuse to mete out untold misery in an unending loop. Person inflicts hurt. Person feels bad about inflicting hurt. Person feels worse about herself. It's a vicious cycle, but the man still has a responsibility to himself and his child.
Im not going to say what you should do, but if you really love her try to salvage it.
But the fact that she went to a ex boyfriend....we are not talking a going to stay with a girlfriend here,so you know what happened boggles my mind.That is a slap in the face to you.You really should stand your ground on that point,because thats bull.
And that ex boyfriend has some explaining to do also,
Im getting mad just visioning that was me she said that to.......
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