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Which is proof of the problem. Why can't the average find other average people? Because they don't want each other.
Yes!
I've known several friends who were fun, nice, good people but average looking at best. They were constantly moaning about not having a boyfriend. They had guys who were interested but the girls weren't interested in them.
And who did they want as a boyfriend? The tippy top of guys with looks, charm, money. Guys they were never going to get.
This was in our early 20s, still pretty immature, most of them probably had a reality check moment in their late 20s and married a nice young man.
It's interesting to me that men who were considered catches in their early years may become undesirable in their later years.
I had a son-in-law once who was the sort of boy not many girls wanted to date, but whom mothers adored. So my step daughter married him and 20 years later gave up on him as a fraud - he simply was not, and never was, who he presented himself to be. He did not pay his bills and did not share information with his wife. So she quit.
I knew a man whose wife died unexpectedly when she was about 50. He had become a catch, and the single women in his little town just filled his freezer with casseroles! His daughter told me every single woman from 35 to 60 had pounded on his door. His kids called him The Casserole King.
And then there was the Black friend in New Orleans. He decided to leave his wife and was so hounded by women, that he just went back home!
As he explained to me, "If you're a Black man in New Orleans who has a good job and wears a suit to work every day, it is just not SAFE for you out there!" So he put the wedding ring back on.
There is hope for nearly every man. Stick to your principles, keep yourself in shape, take care of the details of your life, learn some etiquette, polish up your conversational skills and vocabulary and don't be afraid to try.
I've known several friends who were fun, nice, good people but average looking at best. They were constantly moaning about not having a boyfriend. They had guys who were interested but the girls weren't interested in them.
And who did they want as a boyfriend? The tippy top of guys with looks, charm, money. Guys they were never going to get.
This was in our early 20s, still pretty immature, most of them probably had a reality check moment in their late 20s and married a nice young man.
Some years ago, I gave a graduation card to a young lady I knew.
I wrote: Go places you thought you'd never go; do things you thought you'd never do; wait until you are 30, and marry some guy who likes to work in the yard.
She didn't do it; she married poorly and has not done well. But I still like my own advice.
Some years ago, I gave a graduation card to a young lady I knew.
I wrote: Go places you thought you'd never go; do things you thought you'd never do; wait until you are 30, and marry some guy who likes to work in the yard.
She didn't do it; she married poorly and has not done well. But I still like my own advice.
You've got some good stories. Won't let me give you rep again.
I had an aunt, who had been married 4 times, tell me in junior high I should wait until I was 35 to get married. I would get a better one.
I didn't intend to follow that advice, but I didn't get married until 33 and I did do very well.
I think for guys, women at 21 are tending to look for the ideal man, older, suave, slick talker, tall, muscular, as good looking as Brad Pitt. At 30, they value different things. The suave slick talker in many cases was a jerk.
There was a woman in my church singles group, divorced with two kids, attractive, articulate, well educated, came from a family with money. A female friend of mine had worked with her. Said the woman wouldn't even give her the time of day when they worked together (and my friend was also attractive, well educated and had fairly well to do parents, but not old money). She told me I should go after her, that she was a good one and might be interested in me now, being in her 30s and divorced with kids. I met my future wife before I got around to approaching her.
In relation to this thread, what is high value to 21 year olds may not still be that high value to 30 or 40 year olds. And certainly 50 and 60 year olds are looking for different things.
I think for guys, women at 21 are tending to look for the ideal man, older, suave, slick talker, tall, muscular, as good looking as Brad Pitt. At 30, they value different things. The suave slick talker in many cases was a jerk.
In relation to this thread, what is high value to 21 year olds may not still be that high value to 30 or 40 year olds.
No, I think think they still value the same things at those ages. It's just that they have usually have educational/financial preferences in addition to the physical ones.
Just curious, how representative of the median millennial do you think your circle is? I ask because you post about church quite a bit and the average person today is not even going to church to say nothing of the typical 30 year-old living in large urban area.
No, I think think they still value the same things at those ages. It's just that they have usually have educational/financial preferences in addition to the physical ones.
Just curious, how representative of the median millennial do you think your circle is? I ask because you post about church quite a bit and the average person today is not even going to church to say nothing of the typical 30 year-old living in large urban area.
I never said that was the only way to meet people. You seem to have a hostility towards religion. Yes, fewer people go to church. But many people still do. Obviously if you are not religious like 25-30% of the population, a church group doesn't work. 70-75% of the population still follow some religion even if they aren't regular church goers. Other groups with common interests can have the same effect on meeting people. For example, we have a natural science museum in the area that has Friday night mixers.
I never said that was the only way to meet people. You seem to have a hostility towards religion. Yes, fewer people go to church. But many people still do. Obviously if you are not religious like 25-30% of the population, a church group doesn't work. 70-75% of the population still follow some religion even if they aren't regular church goers. Other groups with common interests can have the same effect on meeting people. For example, we have a natural science museum in the area that has Friday night mixers.
Cool your jets. It was a question. I don't have a hostility towards religion. I only asked because most young people are not religious and certainly are not part of a church group, so it made me wonder if your view of the dating scene for Millennials/Zoomers is more or less based on a more religious/conservative/small to mid size town experience.
Cool your jets. It was a question. I don't have a hostility towards religion. I only asked because most young people are not religious and certainly are not part of a church group, so it made me wonder if your view of the dating scene for Millennials/Zoomers is more or less based on a more religious/conservative/small to mid size town experience.
Anazingly enough there are people who live in big cities and attend church! Not only that, but there are churches that are not far-right fundamentalist in belief and politics!
I think for guys, women at 21 are tending to look for the ideal man, older, suave, slick talker, tall, muscular, as good looking as Brad Pitt. At 30, they value different things. The suave slick talker in many cases was a jerk.
This is a bizarre generalization. At that age, plenty of women are turned off by the suave slick talker, and aren't interested in muscular guys. Jeez. And most are looking for guys around their age. Especially those who are in college.
Anazingly enough there are people who live in big cities and attend church! Not only that, but there are churches that are not far-right fundamentalist in belief and politics!
What does that have to do with the question I asked him? There never was an assertion that people in big cities don't attend church but rather that it's not the norm for young people, especially young people in large metro areas, to attend church. So if your perception of Millennial dating is based on what you're seeing in church (most people here seem at least 15-20 years older than the oldest Millennials anyway), then you probably won't an accurate view of the dating scene.
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