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Because a lot of people 40+ know young women today as friends or children of their friends, or are parents or close relatives of young women.
I'm sorry but that's not the same. That's like a Millennial saying they are an authority on what retirees are doing because their parents, uncles and aunts are Boomers.
I am talking about Colorado, and I do not believe that one must socialize EXCLUSIVELY with a specific group to have an idea of what they are doing. I work for a large company with many younger employees, I have friends across a wide spectrum of age groups, and as I said, my kids are in that age cohort and not only have friends and girlfriends/ex-girlfriends, but one of them lives in student housing with his girlfriend.
I still disagree. Most older people couldn't even tell you what "no cap" means much less tell you what the average college-aged person is doing in their private lives. Besides, most people are not going to tell their parents or their managers at work about all the 'shrooms they did at Rolling Loud or the older dude who's been sponsoring all their trips to the Caribbean.
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Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
OK so fair, I have known some 20-somethings who were dating significantly older partners. By "older" I don't mean like 23 and 28, I mean like, coming up on 10 or more years age difference. But...I did not really bring those ladies up. Why? Because they are subs in the BDSM community. Kind of outliers. I'd argue.
An assumption that often gets made on this subforum is that most people, especially young people, are dating with an eye towards long-term commitment. I'm sure that's probably the case in Abilene, TX or any Colorado military towns, which are going to have more "conservative" and traditional young people by nature.
In larger cities (NY, LA, DC, Chi, SF, Miami, ATL, etc.), many young people are purely dating for fun, and this can extend well into their 30s. So yeah, a 23 year-old could easily meet a 35 year-old man on Hinge or Raya, date for a year or so, and then move on to the next one. Plus, why deal with a 24 year-old cute broke dude with roommates when you can deal with a good-looking older man who has his own condo in Midtown and can afford floor seats at MSG, 5-star restaurants multiple nights per week, etc? There's far more pressure on younger men in the dating game today than ever before because there are more older men in the market than ever before. But if your dating experience was 30 years ago in a mid size Midwestern metro, you're not going to see this reality.
I'm sorry but that's not the same. That's like a Millennial saying they are an authority on what retirees are doing because their parents, uncles and aunts are Boomers.
There is a saying that intelligent people learn from their mistakes , but wise people learn from the mistakes of others. The latter is the idea that many things may be learned vicariously. I did not need to go bankrupts to learn not to go bankrupt. People do this all the time , researching demographic data to see what other people are doing than to base their outlook merely on their own experience. I knew early on I can't use my own experience to decide on things that take decades to resolve themselves.
This is a bizarre generalization. At that age, plenty of women are turned off by the suave slick talker, and aren't interested in muscular guys. Jeez. And most are looking for guys around their age. Especially those who are in college.
This reminds me of Russians and Germans being known for their propaganda. They are know for it because they are bad at it with a long history of authoritarians with no need to seduce with the rhetoric of Demosthenes .Meanwhile the US is not know for propaganda, a country that has been buying and selling for centuries...That demonstrates a master of propaganda..
Likewise if you identify a "suave slick talker", he isn't one. You will find those in the ones that impressed you. And "muscular" is far too subject to skew these days( because many of them are using men as their feedback). However, generally speaking, women prefer a reasonable amount fitness.
That data is readily available, to say nothing that it conforms the fundamentals are in tact. What do you think has changed?
What data is readily available? What source can you consult to determine how many 24 year-old women have allowed a 35 year-old man to fly them to Aruba for an all expenses paid vacation?
I think in general we need to stop talking about the "market" like it's one big market and things are exactly the same in Abilene, TX as they are in Los Angeles. That's about as silly as thinking the housing markets in Abilene and Los Angeles are the same. The dating market in Los Angeles and Abilene are as different as the housing markets in those cities.
Another factor, I think, is that people seem to age more slowly today or at least don't look the way older people did 20 years ago. If you were in your early 20s back in the 70s, 80s or 90s, the typical 35 year-old almost anywhere probably looked different from the typical 35 year-old today. So there probably isn't as much as an "ick" factor with larger age gaps today since people stay single longer and generally take better care of themselves. This is at least what I see in coastal cities. I can't speak for Toledo, Ohio or Waco, TX.
I've known several friends who were fun, nice, good people but average looking at best. They were constantly moaning about not having a boyfriend. They had guys who were interested but the girls weren't interested in them.
And who did they want as a boyfriend? The tippy top of guys with looks, charm, money. Guys they were never going to get.
This was in our early 20s, still pretty immature, most of them probably had a reality check moment in their late 20s and married a nice young man.
Oh, I know plenty of 40+ people (men) who have been single many many years and do not have much to offer themselves but think they DESERVE a bikini model.
What data is readily available? What source can you consult to determine how many 24 year-old women have allowed a 35 year-old man to fly them to Aruba for an all expenses paid vacation?
I think in general we need to stop talking about the "market" like it's one big market and things are exactly the same in Abilene, TX as they are in Los Angeles. That's about as silly as thinking the housing markets in Abilene and Los Angeles are the same. The dating market in Los Angeles and Abilene are as different as the housing markets in those cities.
The dating apps have all the swipe data. And yes, it is all the same. Women generally agree on what they find attractive. And yes, there is a market. There is a demand for it , and there is a supply of it. The data suggests that there is a supply problem, especially on the desired man side( bloated expectations of men by women who equally don't want to do the math). Although, as I indicated already, average people tend to want to match with more in demand people, so the shortage is on both sides.
The more people think they are special, the more people who understand social psychology will own them. If you actually do want to free yourself from "the market" , you need to know the market. I frequently have this same discussion with economics. You can decide you don't like Ricardo, Keynes , Friedman, but it has little credibility when you are ignorant of them. When someone says I don't like Marx, cause he said this in "Das Kapital" with the chapter and page number, then I take them far more seriously. Social psychology is an actual thing.
"The dating market in Los Angeles and Abilene are as different as the housing markets in those cities."
I'm sorry but that's not the same. That's like a Millennial saying they are an authority on what retirees are doing because their parents, uncles and aunts are Boomers.
I think from the experience of divorces, broken relationships and board posts, that Millennials aren't experts on what other millennials are thinking and Boomers aren't experts on what other Boomers are thinking.
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