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Explain more... for instance.. this guy was talkin to her and pissing me off cause we were there at the bar together, but "not together" so he had green light. I went to bathroom, left my drink at bar, come back, ask for my seat back. He starts to argue with me how its not my seat, she didnt tell him to move, so I said were leaving and were trying to leave, she moves me aside really quick and looks like she lands a kiss on his check as she grabed the sides of his face. I was fukin pissed and he wanted to fight me outside after that. We went home and had "our time" but I couldnt belive it. I asked her why she kissed him that night, she said she was drunk and she wanted to.. the next moring she said "I didnt, I told him to chill in his ear"
All I can tell you is when it looks like a snake, hisses like a snake and strikes out at you like a snake - IT'S A SNAKE!
Without getting too clinical (I'm not a medical professional or anything) the women I know who are bipolar have used sex as a weapon and a means of feeling powerful. So much of their lives is out of their control and they spiral even further down when they are in the depressive phase, so they love how in control they are in sexual situations when they are manic. Everything becomes a big game to them at that point.
All I can tell you is when it looks like a snake, hisses like a snake and strikes out at you like a snake - IT'S A SNAKE!
Without getting too clinical (I'm not a medical professional or anything) the women I know who are bipolar have used sex as a weapon and a means of feeling powerful. So much of their lives is out of their control and they spiral even further down when they are in the depressive phase, so they love how in control they are in sexual situations when they are manic. Everything becomes a big game to them at that point.
You are actually describing her. She flat out says her days are SH*T everyday, and tells me "Im sad" or "Im Depressed".. just like that. She was going to school in NY and was stripping (she is a cutie-Body better then face, but my type of girl- 5'2" and 110 lbs) anyway, she tells me she likes to be premiscous (sp?) but we talk ALLLL the time.. till late. So I know she is not with anyone... and that was are agreement. Ill CUT IF OFF if I find out she did anything with anyone else. She tells me straight up about everything.. things I dont want to know abt. Like a girl slapped her a$$ at work yesterday..
Thing is, we have a lot of "fun" before the bar and after till whenever we get tired. And twice now she said we would in the morning too.. But then in the morning it never happens. The things I hear are "I dont want to be touched" or "It hurts right now""
You are actually describing her. She flat out says her days are SH*T everyday, and tells me "Im sad" or "Im Depressed".. just like that. She was going to school in NY and was stripping (she is a cutie-Body better then face, but my type of girl- 5'2" and 110 lbs) anyway, she tells me she likes to be premiscous (sp?) but we talk ALLLL the time.. till late. So I know she is not with anyone... and that was are agreement. Ill CUT IF OFF if I find out she did anything with anyone else. She tells me straight up about everything.. things I dont want to know abt. Like a girl slapped her a$$ at work yesterday..
Thing is, we have a lot of "fun" before the bar and after till whenever we get tired. And twice now she said we would in the morning too.. But then in the morning it never happens. The things I hear are "I dont want to be touched" or "It hurts right now""
Now you're reversing yourself. She either has Borderline Personality Disorder or is Bipolar. Of course, I suppose she could be both.
There is no "cure" for either. However, a personality or character disorder is just that and pills won't change it. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DPT) may help minimize the behaviors as it's behavioral modification therapy on steroids but that's all it is.
Bipolar is a chemical imbalance and pharmaceuticals can help mitigate its symptons. I "diagnosed" my wife as bipolar, primarily through anecdotal experience, after we'd been married for four years. We had it confirmed and after a couple of years of hope-and-poke medicine the right pharmaceutical "cocktail" was prescribed and she hasn't had either a manic nor a depressive episode since.
What's important is that she warned me of lifelong depressions before we married, including one that resulted in a serious suicide attempt so I went into the marriage with my eyes open. Had she not, I'd have not remained.
No offense, but what you've described doesn't sound like bipolar or manic depression. Maybe you could google the symptoms to get some clarity. If this happens to you a lot, it may be time to figure out what it is about you that is attractive or attracted to this kind of person. For example, if you find yourself being attracted to women who are super affectionate or passionate, you can pretty much expect that the day will come when they will shift moods. No one can keep that up, day in and day out. You may also need to sincerely have a look at whether or not there is something youj are doing to unwittingly initiate these mood shifts. For example, are you as affectionate in return? Are you appreciative? Respectful? Consistent? Responsible? Doing anything you can think of that might be a turn-off? It will take some doing, and some soul searching, but it may be time to start noticing women who are affectionate but in a more balanced way and/or women who will tell in a reasonable way what they want from you to keep that fire burning. Not boring women, just balanced and communicative.
I am the one who likes to be affectionate.. In and out of public. She seems to not mind arm around her and such, but doesnt like the kissing in public. I guess thats her.
Curmudgeon- I was just saying her meds (seroquel) was for bipolar, but she says she is diaganosed with BPD.
Nobody actually responded to my last post, so Ill repost it.
loveMountains: You are actually describing her. She flat out says her days are SH*T everyday, and tells me "Im sad" or "Im Depressed".. just like that. She was going to school in NY and was stripping (she is a cutie-Body better then face, but my type of girl- 5'2" and 110 lbs) anyway, she tells me she likes to be premiscous (sp?) but we talk ALLLL the time.. till late. So I know she is not with anyone... and that was are agreement. Ill CUT IF OFF if I find out she did anything with anyone else. She tells me straight up about everything.. things I dont want to know abt. Like a girl slapped her a$$ at work yesterday..
Thing is, we have a lot of "fun" before the bar and after till whenever we get tired. And twice now she said we would in the morning too.. But then in the morning it never happens. The things I hear are "I dont want to be touched" or "It hurts right now"
The BPD diagnosis does shed some light on the subject. If she has BPD then she is more than likely very genuinely seductive, exciting, and inspiring as a lover off and on. BPD usually stems from various forms of emotional abuse and negation in childhood. There is nothing you can do to heal this for her. She has to recover on her terms and in her own timing. If you choose to remain in this relationship, you will have to allow for her those times when she will flip on you and make you out to be the bad guy, or when she will need to go into her cave and not want to be bothered. It's not about you. With BPD, you could say or do one wrong thing, or make one seemingly minor mistake, and your girlfriend will take it badly and overinterpret it to the point where, once again, you get cast as the bad guy or nonexistent, instead of as a normal human being who occasionally makes mistakes, as we all do. There are some great online groups or forums for people with loved ones who have BPD. Try googling it. If you stay with her you will have to learn how to love her and accept her mood swings, without taking it personally or needing to fix it.
The BPD diagnosis does shed some light on the subject. If she has BPD then she is more than likely very genuinely seductive, exciting, and inspiring as a lover off and on. BPD usually stems from various forms of emotional abuse and negation in childhood. There is nothing you can do to heal this for her. She has to recover on her terms and in her own timing. If you choose to remain in this relationship, you will have to allow for her those times when she will flip on you and make you out to be the bad guy, or when she will need to go into her cave and not want to be bothered. It's not about you. With BPD, you could say or do one wrong thing, or make one seemingly minor mistake, and your girlfriend will take it badly and overinterpret it to the point where, once again, you get cast as the bad guy or nonexistent, instead of as a normal human being who occasionally makes mistakes, as we all do. There are some great online groups or forums for people with loved ones who have BPD. Try googling it. If you stay with her you will have to learn how to love her and accept her mood swings, without taking it personally or needing to fix it.
Good post. From my understanding you have nailed life with someone with BPD. I think Stillworkin needs to tread very carefully here. As much as he is intrigued by this girl, she sounds like one sick puppy.
I found this forum thru google. I am actually a member of another forum since 2002.
This is something I am going thru right now. This girl I am seeing is acting like this. The other night she came over, we had some time to spend ( ) and then we went to the bar we both know. She doesnt like people to know who she is "with" for some reason, HOWEVER, sitting on the couch she puts my arem around HER and her head on my shoulder and were relaxing. Not even 3 min later she takes my arm down and puts 6 inches of distance btw us. I dont even know what to say.
Now she has BPD and is perscribed seroquel, but she says it makes her SLEEP for too long so she doesnt take it. I dont know how to approach this situation so I can get what I want. Its like a big teaser. After foolin around she will either let me spoon her or cuddle to me, but other times she says "I dont want to be touched".. and were not talkin down there like I wanna go again, she is saying AT ALL.. I actually like this girl so I do want to, and other girls I didnt care to.
Suggestions?
First, start a new thread. You'll get more help that way, otherwise you just end up hijacking someone else's thread.
Second, keep her on Seroquel... For the first few weeks it will make her sleepy, but after her body adjusts to it then she'll be fine. Have her look up all the effects online - there are some negative, but the positive outweigh them 100 to 1.
Third, It isn't about what you want, it's about whats good for the relationship. If you can't handle things, then I suggest you move on. It's hard to handle someone that is Bi-Polar. But, if you are willing to stick it out, then quit focusing on you, and start focusing on the relationship. The biggest thing that you have to understand is this: People with the bi-polar disorder can and will change in the blink of an eye - they will be all lovey one second and the next they'll be unapproachable. Until they are able to get help for this, that's just the way it is.
And finally, if you reply, please do so in a new thread.. Good luck man..
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) and then we went to the bar we both know. She doesnt like people to know who she is "with" for some reason, HOWEVER, sitting on the couch she puts my arem around HER and her head on my shoulder and were relaxing. Not even 3 min later she takes my arm down and puts 6 inches of distance btw us. I dont even know what to say. 
