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As other posters have said, If she hasn't asked for them then no point going through all the trouble of giving them back. Get rid of them whatever way you see fit.
I say sell them and make some profit LOL If she gave them to him, then they are his. Seriously though, if he thinks she may want them back and they were not a gift to him, then I'd say do the mutual friend thing, call someone and ask them to contact her, and have the mutual friend pick them up or you can drop them at a neutral location for the ex.
If your husband thinks a call would be awkward, just send them to her and let her make the decision about what she wants to do with them.
Instead of him writing the note, maybe you should jot a little something down. " We are redecorating and while these paintings are beautiful, they are not the style we are trying to achieve. I thought I would offer them to you."
You get the jist...Good luck! Sort of a sticky one but very upstanding of you to want to offer them back to her.
Yikes, sounds like a really tough call. Being an artist, I would want them back... if they were my work, however, if they were done by someone else, I would not give it a second thought. Why open old wounds for her or possibly create drama for you? Na, just give them to a charity, good will come frim that, then close that door. good luck in which ever way you go.
Yes, this. If they were paintings that I had painted, I would want first refusal to have them back or choose to let them go.. If they were not created by me, I wouldn't expect to get them back, and probably wouldn't care if I didn't.
unless she is coming over for coffee, how is she going to know? I would donate them, I wouldn't stir up past emotions, its not good for anyone - somethings in the past should stay in the past, he doesn't owe her anything anymore.
We don't know anyone that she talks to anymore (she moved out of town after the breakup) so that option won't work. And we don't know her address. She painted them, they weren't store-bought.
No, she hasn't asked for them back. And I personally can't imagine why she would want them back - wouldn't they just remind her of him? But my husband, who himself is arty, almost feels like it's disrespectful to give them away.
But my husband, who himself is arty, almost feels like it's disrespectful to give them away.
I'd feel the same way since they are her paintings. Of course, you're not supposed to go out of your way to give them to her, but it would be a nice gesture and it might be appreciated.
I know, that would be the best solution! But there isn't anyone that is a connection between them.
I thought maybe he could just ship them to her? With a note, "thought you might want these?"
I don't know, the situation is weird because the relationship ended badly and she still wanted him back for years. Sigh.
I wonder if contacting her now would bring back these feelings of wanting him back?
Quote:
Originally Posted by itlchick
We don't know anyone that she talks to anymore (she moved out of town after the breakup) so that option won't work. And we don't know her address. She painted them, they weren't store-bought.
No, she hasn't asked for them back. And I personally can't imagine why she would want them back - wouldn't they just remind her of him? But my husband, who himself is arty, almost feels like it's disrespectful to give them away.
Since they are artwork she painted, I am thinking you should at least give her the option. If you want help finding her, come to the people search forum, they are pretty good at finding people who don't want to be found, nevermind people who are not hiding.
If it were anything else, like jewelry or something then I wouldn't think returning them would be a great idea but in this case maybe it will help her move on with her life and I would think as an artist she would want them if only to see the evolution of her work.
If it was an old relationship I wouldn't want to profit from it in anyway shape or form nor would I use anything from an ex. I'd donate it! That's just me. No need to contact an ex, you folks are married and have your own lives. No need to disrupt someone elses life and you folks are happy w/ your own, let by gones be by gones and move forward w/ a clean slate. Someone else could use the property and appreciate it.
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If they are.. others might not want them (but there's weirder people in the world).
