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If someone chooses to betray your trust and cheat on you are you always a victim if you choose to stay?
I say yes and heres why:
The cheating is an action of betrayal and is a constant even if it never happens again.
If you end the relationship immediately you are choosing not to be victimized, if you continue in that relationship it becomes a choice of yours so in a sence you are taking over from that point forward and victimizing yourself.
You are a victim because you have to alter something in your being to remain. Action-Reaction.
The only thing that can be argued is, is it worth it? Is it worth damaging yourself in order to hold on to something you loved.
If a cheater leaves you and starts a new relationship and never cheats again they are not a cheater in that relationship. If you move on and enter a new relationship after trying in the previous relationship you are still a victim of damage.
If someone chooses to betray your trust and cheat on you are you always a victim if you choose to stay?
I say yes and heres why:
The cheating is an action of betrayal and is a constant even if it never happens again.
If you end the relationship immediately you are choosing not to be victimized, if you continue in that relationship it becomes a choice of yours so in a sence you are taking over from that point forward and victimizing yourself.
You are a victim because you have to alter something in your being to remain. Action-Reaction.
The only thing that can be argued is, is it worth it? Is it worth damaging yourself in order to hold on to something you loved.
If a cheater leaves you and starts a new relationship and never cheats again they are not a cheater in that relationship. If you move on and enter a new relationship after trying in the previous relationship you are still a victim of damage.
Well, I tend to agree with you, but then again, there are a few who have stayed and it worked out. It takes a very special person to forgive and give another a chance like that...not only that, but the one who did the cheating, sometimes realizes just how badly they hurt others and how selfish they were, and they want to change, badly...very badly, so much so, that they do seek help. But for the most part, I do agree with you...adding, sometimes, a person is not damaged but grows much stronger for the experience....I can say, honestly, I'm a much stronger person, but was badly damaged...so much so, that I would never date again...or even consider marriage. But, to, there are a lot of other reasons...I do so like being independent for the first time in my life...it's been for me, very rewarding...but can honestly say, I do fear relationships, and therefore, would not be a good candidate for a partner any longer....and there was a time, when I did so love being married, a mother and wife.
If someone chooses to betray your trust and cheat on you are you always a victim if you choose to stay?
I say yes and heres why:
The cheating is an action of betrayal and is a constant even if it never happens again.
If you end the relationship immediately you are choosing not to be victimized, if you continue in that relationship it becomes a choice of yours so in a sence you are taking over from that point forward and victimizing yourself.
You are a victim because you have to alter something in your being to remain. Action-Reaction.
The only thing that can be argued is, is it worth it? Is it worth damaging yourself in order to hold on to something you loved.
If a cheater leaves you and starts a new relationship and never cheats again they are not a cheater in that relationship. If you move on and enter a new relationship after trying in the previous relationship you are still a victim of damage.
This is a common practice for people. By doing this we can easily start to become victums about everything..That cop pulled me over because HE WAS OUT TO GET ME! We start to ignore our part in everything and it's them out to get us. The real problem is when we start justifying everything back to feeling our being a victum.
Well now your arguing level of tolerance. I'm a victim of not getting the service I paid for, Petty maybe but I suck it up and move on. We all go through that one so it goes in the trash can but we are still capable of holding our head up. This does not require forgiveness.
I'm not validating victims of fairness, thats a childs argument.
I say a quick trip to the mall with said cheater's credit cards prior to any leaving is in order Then reevaluated your mood. When there are children, property, pets involved a cool head prevails. this is why i support Gay marriage because the legal entanglements of marriage ensure children are supported.
I think there are people who wallow in perpetual victimhood because it's just easier than picking themselves up off the floor, dusting themselves off, and acting like an adult.
I think there are people who wallow in perpetual victimhood because it's just easier than picking themselves up off the floor, dusting themselves off, and acting like an adult.
Bingo. While being victimized by any experience is traumatic an unfair, adopting the title of "VICTIM" for the rest of your life is a choice that YOU make which will alter your life in ways you are allowing it to be altered yourself. Picking yourself up and throwing that victim label off IS harder than just wearing the victim label, but your life will be so much better once you do.
The cheating is an action of betrayal and is a constant even if it never happens again.
You're proceeding from a false assumption here...
In fact, the act of cheating is over. It's only in the minds of the players that it continues, or not.
If people could learn to live more in the present instead of the past, you might see far fewer "victims".
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If you end the relationship immediately you are choosing not to be victimized, if you continue in that relationship it becomes a choice of yours so in a sence you are taking over from that point forward and victimizing yourself.
Could you not also end the relationship yet still remain a victim? Likewise, if you continue the relationship and drop the past events, you're no longer a victim.
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You are a victim because you have to alter something in your being to remain. Action-Reaction.
What are you altering? (Seriously - I'd like to know what you think is being altered - the mind? the body? emotions?)
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The only thing that can be argued is, is it worth it? Is it worth damaging yourself in order to hold on to something you loved.
Again, this assumes the "wronged" party cannot drop the past.
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If you move on and enter a new relationship after trying in the previous relationship you are still a victim of damage.
There is a cycle to this mentality and just because someone chooses to leave a cheating spouse or abusive spouse doesn't mean that they are not a victim anymore, they could and usually do repeat the same cycle with another person.
Some people have a very hard time breaking out of the victim role. It usually takes an outside influence to assist, 12 step program, sponsorship, counseling, and a complete transition to step out of the cycle.
Thats why it is so important not to date for at least a year, maybe more after getting out of a relationship like this. That's my thoughts on the situation.
Some people have a very hard time breaking out of the victim role. It usually takes an outside influence to assist, 12 step program, sponsorship, counseling, and a complete transition to step out of the cycle.
You forgot the firm slap upside the head...does wonders sometimes. Otherwise, all those other modalities often just contribute to a victim's mindset.
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Then reevaluated your mood. When there are children, property, pets involved a cool head prevails. this is why i support Gay marriage because the legal entanglements of marriage ensure children are supported.
