Do you have close personal relationships with people of the opposite sex at work? (date, wife)
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In my last job I worked very closely with a number of people who were of the opposite sex. The very nature of the work created strong personal bonds. When I could find the time, I would go out to lunch with a variety of women who were friends in the office. I never thought about it as unusual or cheating at all because our relationship was just in the office. But in some cases I would get to know the women very well (on a personal friendship basis), but never saw them outside of work.
Do you have any people at work that you are very close to that are a member of the opposite sex? Do you do lunch? What are the limits to your friendship?
of course....most of my guy co-worker friends at work a much older than me but even if they weren't.....i'm happily married so I would never think of it that way....I probably wouldn't go out to lunch with them....maybe an in office luncheon if we were having a meeting but besides that......i wouldnt want to do anything to make my hubby feel even the least bit uncomfortable.
You know, I don't believe in close personal relationships with people I work with. I have reasonably good friends who are colleagues, but at the same time they are colleagues. A friend can't throw you under the bus to a boss in a meeting, a friend can't play corporate games at your expense to get the promotion. They are people you work with. You can enjoy the occasional drink with them. You can have nice conversations with them. But don't expect the same degree of intimacy and trust that you would have with your lifelong buddies.
Think of all the confidences you share with your true friends. Embarrassing past episodes. Secret desires and personal doubts. The entire gamut of stuff you really don't want to be aired publicly. Is this really stuff you want your co-workers to know about? Heck, I have a lot less dirty laundry than most people. But what little I had, I sure didn't want to have analyzed when promotion time rolled around.
So, unless you're talking business, keep the co-ed lunches to groups of three or more. Because even if it's totally innocent, a great number of people won't see it that way.
Yes, I do have a close relationship with some of my coworkers male and female. We go out to lunch when we can, but normally we just eat together on premises each day. They are like my other family. I think as long as you keep it professional you're fine.
Co-ed lunches, sure. One on one lunches with a guy from work - not unless he was gay.
Just a silly position to put yourself in generally speaking. Being friendly and chatting within the work atmosphere - absolutely!
If I were away on business with just one person and it was a guy, I would hang out with him while away, but would be so professional it's not even funny. No drinking, no flirting, no nothing. If it was someone I found attractive then I wouldn't hang out with them at all.
Hmm... I've never actually worked with members of the opposite sex...except for my boss and that doesnt really count. But i do have close friendly relationships with guys in my normal life. : )
Do you have any people at work that you are very close to that are a member of the opposite sex? Do you do lunch? What are the limits to your friendship?
They have a term for these people. They're called work spouses. You don't date them and you never see them outside of work, but they're the person you confide in at work, usually about stuff relating to the workplace, but sometimes about your life outside of work. I think a lot of people need this type of relationship. Although they have a spouse at home, that person doesn't know what it's like to work where you work or maybe they're in a different field and can't always relate. But having a work spouse comes in handy cause you have lunch together, talk about your jobs, your boss, or your coworkers, and that person will be able to understand what you're going through, perhaps better than your partner at home. And in a way, it's good for the person at home. They're spared from having to listen to you complain about work. You dump that on your work spouse instead. As far as limits, I think they should be obvious. Keep the relationship at work and anything you say to that spouse should be things that you could still tell to your partner at home. You've crossed the line when you find yourself telling your work spouse things that you don't want to tell your partner.
Yes. There have been a few men at work that were friends. With one we would go about every fri. after work and have drinks talk about work, etc. Sometimes his wife would join us somtimes my dh would. I have also been to lunch and gone shopping with a guy a work. He might be gay tho.
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