Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'll try to make a long story short. My DH and I separated for a short time 2 years ago. He went back to PA where we are from. He got involved with a long time friend that he grew up with. It didn't work out, only lasted about 1 1/2 months and he came back home. Anyhow, my brother-in-law has to go into surgery Monday. They are not giving him a good prognosis. Then the other day, my father-in-law passed away to top it all off. My DH had to fly to PA for all of this. I feel really bad for him and keep telling him. Anyhow, I was trying to reach him a couple times this morning and couldn't. I did something I probably shouldn't have done. I checked his voice mail and low and behold the woman he was involved with said something about going to the hospital and you do what's right and I don't care if your wife is listening to this message. I usually won't do that unless I have a suspition something's not right. My DH's family grew up with her family and is still close to them. I called him at mother-in-laws house and got him right away. I told him a lie and said she called the house and said that to see his response. He said I don't get it b/c her kids are calling my moms house to see if I know where she is. (maybe to get him on the phone) He's said she's just trying to start s**t. I don't want to hear about it anymore. (He always tells me about the guilt he has to live with everyday from it and I don't bring it up either) What am I to think? I know she'll go to the hospital b/c they all grew up together and I know my DH will be there visiting his brother.
I probably shouldn't be giving you advice, because I am going through the same thing right now - an ex that won't back off. My SO and I didn't break up though - he cheated - then we got back together again.
I can't tell you the number of times I have thrown my hands up in the air. She contacts his family, practically lives up his sister's butt, and just generally is everywhere I don't want her to be. I feel it's disrespectful, but his family likes her and he's too limp to confront her on my behalf. Can I stop her? Nope. Do I think she's doing it to upset me? Yup.
My SO claims nothing's going on, but the suspicious thoughts are still there. I want to trust him, but she makes it nearly impossible. Someone else on City-Data told me she's trying to keep her foot in the door - which I believe wholeheartedly.
So, do you trust him? Is your life better with him in it? How long do you think she'll continue this assault on your feelings?
Or do you throw it away, realizing that these issues wouldn't be around if he weren't around either? And let her have him?
Let me know what you decide, because I have the same decision to make.
I checked his voice mail and low and behold the woman he was involved with said something about going to the hospital and you do what's right and I don't care if your wife is listening to this message.
I would have to wonder what she meant by this! You do whats right, and she doesn`t care if you are listening? Hhmmmmm.....
Beside the fact that he is lying to you about talking to her, I would be suspicious.
He will talk to her and ask her if she called the house, but thats neither here nor there. Thats beside the point. Point is....*heads up girl!*
I probably shouldn't be giving you advice, because I am going through the same thing right now - an ex that won't back off. My SO and I didn't break up though - he cheated - then we got back together again.
I can't tell you the number of times I have thrown my hands up in the air. She contacts his family, practically lives up his sister's butt, and just generally is everywhere I don't want her to be. I feel it's disrespectful, but his family likes her and he's too limp to confront her on my behalf. Can I stop her? Nope. Do I think she's doing it to upset me? Yup.
My SO claims nothing's going on, but the suspicious thoughts are still there. I want to trust him, but she makes it nearly impossible. Someone else on City-Data told me she's trying to keep her foot in the door - which I believe wholeheartedly.
So, do you trust him? Is your life better with him in it? How long do you think she'll continue this assault on your feelings?
Or do you throw it away, realizing that these issues wouldn't be around if he weren't around either? And let her have him?
Let me know what you decide, because I have the same decision to make.
Sorry to hear that you have to go through that! At least we are a 1000 miles away. I never was insecure and always trusted him even after what happened. I was willing to let it go and move on. I wouldn't check his voice mails or call log if I wasn't suspicious. But, that brings me back to my thread //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...i-believe.html. Although the past couple weeks, he admitted he's been wrong for the way he's been acting. He even agreed to go to marriage counseling. He said he just wants to get his life in order. My sister thinks that is an admission of guilt. I don't know what to think anymore. Have you found any evidence? How long have you been together? I hope things work out for you.
Why does this other woman know your husband's number? Seems to me this should have been changed immediately after the end of their relationship. Why didn't you travel out to PA to be at his side and support his family? Given the lack of trust, I would think that your DH would be especially sensitive to being in touch with you and assuage any concerns you may have. This sounds like a messy situation that could have been averted if a number of things had been done differently...
Why does this other woman know your husband's number? Seems to me this should have been changed immediately after the end of their relationship. Why didn't you travel out to PA to be at his side and support his family? Given the lack of trust, I would think that your DH would be especially sensitive to being in touch with you and assuage any concerns you may have. This sounds like a messy situation that could have been averted if a number of things had been done differently...
We had the number changed and my BIL gave it to her. She claimed she had a bill that was going to collections and needed to call him about it. She knew it would bother him being that he has excellent credit. That was about 6 months after the break up. We haven't heard from her since! The kids and I couldn't go to PA due to financial reasons. The way the economy is, we are strapped for cash. He's been in touch with me all along since hes's been there. It was just this AM when I couldn't reach him on his cell, but was able to get him on my MIL house phone. I don't know what to think!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
