After a DIVORCE should you change your name back to your maiden name? (wives, how to)

[Ivorytickler]

I had no intention of keeping my married name after 28 years of marriage. It's my married name. I planned on taking back my maiden name and having the children's last name changed to a hyphenated name so they'd share a last name with both parents. I am only an "M" by marriage. If the marriage ends, I take back my single identity.

Which, surprisingly, really bothered my husband at the time. He was incredulous that I'd change my name back and furious that I wanted to hyphenate the girl's last name (they were all for it as they didn't want me to have a different last name than them.). I HATED having a different last name as my mother growing up. IMO, there's no reason my children shouldn't have my name too.

[vukinjo]

I just got married for the third time and frankly changing your name is not an easy task so I kept my ex-husbands' names until I got married again. I also didn't particularly care for my maiden name but thats not why I kept them. Its just a lot to change everything. Its amazing all the places you use your name

[char65]

I kept my ex-husband's name until I left the company at which I worked because I didn't want to have the "Oh, congratulations on your new marriage" or "Oh, I'm so sorry it didn't work out" conversation with people I didn't know (but who would be curious why my name changed.)

[cmacf1]

I changed my name back to my maiden name after I got divorced and I swore I'd never get married again (or I'd never get married and change my name again.) I was really slow about changing my name on everything. Then I did meet somebody else, somebody who was recently divorced like me. His ex-wife had not changed her name to his and he said that always made him sad (kinda sexist, but he's so sweet, I don't see it that way.) So, I married him and changed my name again. When I'd call places and people would ask my name, I'd hesitate not knowing which of 3 last names they might know me as! My grocery store discount card is STILL in my first married name. My current hubby uses that card and they thank him using my FIRST hubby's name . Oooops!

[startinganew]

If you have a hypen last name can you not take off the husband last name and use the maiden name if you not with the person anymore? Since both names are still legally yours?

[JustJulia]

I choose D - Do whatever you want.

[lola8822]

Originally Posted by Refugee56

I know quite a few women who have got divorced after a terrible marriage. Even though they have no children, they tend to keep their married name after the divorce. Why in God's name would they do that. I would think their married name would remind them of the terrible marriage. What do you think?

I didn't want to change my name in the first place so YES...i'd DEFINITLY change my name back ASAP

[Ladywithafan]

Originally Posted by beckycat

It's up to you, but if I had kids, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want the kids to have a different last name. Just my 2 cents.

I was with my husband for fifteen years, married for almost 12 of those. I kept his last name as we have children together and I agree.

[coldwine]

I've discussed marriage with my brazuca-- the Brazilian guy I've been very serious with now for a while-- and the issue that keeps coming up is this name change.

I'm not changing my name. It's mine. It took a long while to become someone I could admire. To build in the minds of my friends and colleagues the emotional and professional gravity my name carries. He doesn't really understand this, because he goes for the machismo bull****, but screw that.

I'm not changing my name. And if I were to divorce, I'd still be me

[GloryB]

I think each situation is different. I kept my married name because it was the last name of my kids and I was used to signing my name that way. It's just a name and wasn't a big deal to me either way.