Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know many people who treat love like a drug. What I mean is that they are with a different person every year or two, and then seem to tire of that person, and move on to another.
I've noticed many people I know seem to fear being alone and actually seem most happy when they are first in a new relationship. I've only been in love once (it didnt work) but from what I remember, this first part of a relationship was really crazy, as both people kind of live for each other, and almost obsess over each other. However, as time goes on, no matter who the people are, this obsession fades (or its not healthy or productive in life for either) and they start noticing things about each other they may not like. Before long small problems become major, and the couple splits... After a few weeks, these kinds of people find another person, and start the process over with someone else.
Am I cynical in seeing this? Am I jaded? I truly am waiting for the one (if it is possible, but I am not going to do date anyone to keep the sheets warm til I find that person) Is that bad
Another trend I have seen is that people who are in these constant relationships never seem to handle being single and will date and even shack up with the wrong person to not be alone.. Why is this not classified as an addiction and so many other things are in our society now? Is it because movies and songs are often times about happy endings with love? Have we not evolved enough to see that the fresh feeling of love does produce a chemical in our brain we can want to feel constantly? Isnt this what an addiction is??
When I was "in love" I was in constant panic mode that she would leave me.
love brought out the worst in me, and with love I felt the total loss of control.
The funny thing was, I broke off the relationship (for reasons I won't go into here)
and have been far happier and had more satisfying relationships with guarded 'love'
I do miss it, and miss that wild unsuppressed mad passion, But i don't miss the insecurity
What you describe is called limerence - and it is one of the most addictive drugs on the market.
People become infatuated and fall in love with the 'idea' of another person, this infatuation can last several years - and generally results in marriage.
Unfortunately, you can't base a marriage off of infatuation (emotion), there needs to be some kind of practical (logical) compatibility. This misunderstanding is why so many divorces occur.
I'd never heard of this particular term and was curious to look it up.
I'd agree with this:
"What we have found is that the limerent person is capable of having healthy love relationships with other people, but for some reason, with this particular person, a limerent relationship develops," Wakin says.
Oh, just as said, there's more to it and it's right in this very article, too!
They say it's premature to ask that limerence be classified in the American Psychiatric Association's handbook of mental disorders because much more research is needed. The next publication is in 2012.
But, Wakin says, "if our research continues to go in the direction it has been going and that we expect it will go, ultimately what we want to move toward is diagnosis, prognosis and treatment."
you need to be compatible as well as attracted. People who move on from relationship to relationship too often generally fail to have a successful long term relationship. relationships shouldnt be used as some sort of drug, it should be respected and honored.
I know many people who treat love like a drug. What I mean is that they are with a different person every year or two, and then seem to tire of that person, and move on to another.
I've noticed many people I know seem to fear being alone and actually seem most happy when they are first in a new relationship. I've only been in love once (it didnt work) but from what I remember, this first part of a relationship was really crazy, as both people kind of live for each other, and almost obsess over each other. However, as time goes on, no matter who the people are, this obsession fades (or its not healthy or productive in life for either) and they start noticing things about each other they may not like. Before long small problems become major, and the couple splits... After a few weeks, these kinds of people find another person, and start the process over with someone else.
Am I cynical in seeing this? Am I jaded? I truly am waiting for the one (if it is possible, but I am not going to do date anyone to keep the sheets warm til I find that person) Is that bad
Another trend I have seen is that people who are in these constant relationships never seem to handle being single and will date and even shack up with the wrong person to not be alone.. Why is this not classified as an addiction and so many other things are in our society now? Is it because movies and songs are often times about happy endings with love? Have we not evolved enough to see that the fresh feeling of love does produce a chemical in our brain we can want to feel constantly? Isnt this what an addiction is??
I used to be addicted to relationships. Always had to have one, even with ms wrong. Finally realized how much trouble it all was and got off the treadmill. I don't think you're being jaded, just realistic. Lots of fake relationships that seem to be going through the motions. The good ones most always end up bad as well.
I go into people's homes for a living. The long time relationships get really weird. Abusive husbands. Pack rat wives who buy everything at the dollar store and walmart until you can't walk in the house. Cheating, lying, hoarding of money on both sides. I always leave wonder why they bother to stay together.
Love is addicting but not the love you share for family and friends, mostly the one u share to ur "other half". It makes you do things you never thought you would do. There is a reason that a lot of women stay with their husbands even if they are abusive etc because to them being with someone they love is worth anything and everything. Love is something that a lot of people need to learn to control.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
