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Yes I am defending him because you all don't know him. And I don't appreciate comments calling him a loser or whatever. I know what his faults are and when I am tired of dealing with it that is when I will leave. I'm not about to give up on someone just because everyone else's experience were horrible. People can change. Yes some don't. I'm not about to pretend I'm perfect or that I got my life all figured out. I'm far from it. Which is why I wouldn't want someone taking a look at my life and think she doesn't deserve for me to help her. I can't hack it now either. I think every other day about moving back with my mother but I'm a trooper and I rather suffer thru it then give up. And i obviously know what is going to happen ten years from now what will happen when I mix in kids and mortgage. Which is why I haven't gotten married or pregnant to him. And I asked for advice not peoples opinion on what type of person my boyfriend is.
The advice is given. You are posting on a public forum. You're going to get opinions in addition to advice---after all, opinions are what explain the reasoning behind advice. If you can't hack the heat of the kitchen, get out.
Yes I am defending him because you all don't know him. And I don't appreciate comments calling him a loser or whatever. I know what his faults are and when I am tired of dealing with it that is when I will leave. I'm not about to give up on someone just because everyone else's experience were horrible. People can change. Yes some don't. I'm not about to pretend I'm perfect or that I got my life all figured out. I'm far from it. Which is why I wouldn't want someone taking a look at my life and think she doesn't deserve for me to help her. I can't hack it now either. I think every other day about moving back with my mother but I'm a trooper and I rather suffer thru it then give up. And i obviously know what is going to happen ten years from now what will happen when I mix in kids and mortgage. Which is why I haven't gotten married or pregnant to him. And I asked for advice not peoples opinion on what type of person my boyfriend is.
Okay. Whatever. Just remember. Actions speak louder than words. And if you're not prepared to listen to a roomful of relationship gurus, some of whom have been through exactly what you're going through, then why are you on here in the first place?
Yes I am defending him because you all don't know him. And I don't appreciate comments calling him a loser or whatever. I know what his faults are and when I am tired of dealing with it that is when I will leave. I'm not about to give up on someone just because everyone else's experience were horrible. People can change. Yes some don't. I'm not about to pretend I'm perfect or that I got my life all figured out. I'm far from it. Which is why I wouldn't want someone taking a look at my life and think she doesn't deserve for me to help her. Justifications to what actions?? My being with him?? I don't need anyone to justify my relationship. I put up with it because I want to. Not because I'm blinded by love. I'm giving this relationship everything I have because I treat this relationship as a marriage. So that when I do get married I know I am ready. I know I'm not going to get a divorce just because things aren't working out. I can't hack it now either. I think every other day about moving back with my mother but I'm a trooper and I rather suffer thru it then give up. And i obviously know what is going to happen ten years from now when I mix in kids and mortgage with him. Which is why I haven't gotten married or pregnant to him. And I asked for advice not peoples opinion on what type of person my boyfriend is.
Honey, the problem is, you can't get the advice without identifying what type of person your boyfriend is. YOU came on and identified him, WE are giving you advice based on that identification. Again, this does not mean we think he is a bad person, okay? But he is a little boy in many ways and you are taking your chances by sticking with him that he may never grow up. Since you have already identified yourself as a "trooper" who would rather "suffer through" you don't understand that you have just doomed yourself to exactly what you are getting
okay your opinion and advice was given. And I'm going to respond. If you don't like my response then you should stop posting on the thread I created.
Like I said before...I know what type of person he is. I asked if there was a way to help him. The only thing you guys are saying is to leave him. Only one person made an actually suggestion toward helping him. Actually the people who commented on the first page did so without expressing unnecessary negative opinions.
And yes I said I was a trooper and I would rather suffer through it than move back with my mom. When his chance is up I will leave.
I asked if there was a way to help him. The only thing you guys are saying is to leave him.
Unfortunately, they ARE right. It IS the only way. Yeah, people do change... for the worse usually. And they change on their own; nobody changes them. We just have the experience you don't. I know you're not gonna listen. Neither have we. One day you'll be here telling other youngins the same thing people tell you now. It's a never-ending vicious cycle of everybody wanting to make his/her own mistakes.
okay your opinion and advice was given. And I'm going to respond. If you don't like my response then you should stop posting on the thread I created.
Like I said before...I know what type of person he is. I asked if there was a way to help him. The only thing you guys are saying is to leave him. Only one person made an actually suggestion toward helping him. Actually the people who commented on the first page did so without expressing unnecessary negative opinions.
And yes I said I was a trooper and I would rather suffer through it than move back with my mom. When his chance is up I will leave.
okay your opinion and advice was given. And I'm going to respond. If you don't like my response then you should stop posting on the thread I created.
Like I said before...I know what type of person he is. I asked if there was a way to help him. The only thing you guys are saying is to leave him. Only one person made an actually suggestion toward helping him. Actually the people who commented on the first page did so without expressing unnecessary negative opinions.
Yes. There IS one way you can help him. Leave him. Let him learn from his fianacial mistakes while the only person he can hurt is himself. When he realizes what a mess he is in he may realize that you were right. But no lessons will be learned if he is enabled to continue to not give thought to his spending. Good luck!
He says he wants to change. he doesn't want to be irresponsible anymore. How do I help this process along??
The advice you've been given is to help him "change" and become responsible is to leave him. Most of use change and become responsible over time. Its call personal growth and maturity. It happens thru guidence and life experience. The best way to "help" him to grow into a mature adult is to let him stand on his own.
Unfortunately, they ARE right. It IS the only way. Yeah, people do change... for the worse usually. And they change on their own; nobody changes them. We just have the experience you don't. I know you're not gonna listen. Neither have we. One day you'll be here telling other youngins the same thing people tell you now. It's a never-ending vicious cycle of everybody wanting to make his/her own mistakes.
Okay I understand that. Never said that wasn't an option or a bad one. But obviously it wasn't what I was looking for. But if you guys keep saying that the only way to "help" him is to leave him then fine point taken. End of discussion.
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