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Well, that's another thing that scares me about dating a girl who is younger. If a girl who is 22 or 23 says she doesn't want kids, for all I know she could change her mind in 5-10 years and decide she does. I know I won't change my mind, I can guarantee that, and when people say I will it's one of the more condescending, silly things I can imagine. It's like saying if you are religious, "Well, don't worry, one day you will understand the truth and stop believing in that rubbish." Even if I think it's rubbish, it's very rude for me to imply that someone else is going to suddenly change their basic belief structure. It's probably not likely. I've seen it happen a few times but to suggest it would be rude of me.
I don't hate kids, to be fair, I just wouldn't want any myself. I've dealt with kids at Tae-Kwon-Do, teaching some kids classes or assisting with them, and that's fine, I am good with kids. But I wouldn't want that burden for myself. No way hose. There's not just the fact that I don't want kids, but that when you have kids you rope yourself into a life that you cannot easily escape. If the girl I married starts to annoy me, or I don't find her attractive anymore, I'm pretty much stuck with her anyway, whatever may happen, and I don't want to be put into a situation like that. I want complete freedom to live my life as best I can in the long run and day to day.
Can I ask your age? (This is not a slam, but a sincere question.)
Oops I meant OLDER, haha, not old hahaha. Sorry. All I'm saying is that if I said I was 40, everyone would lay off. If I said I was 15, nobody would take me seriously at all (ok, ok, for good reason, 15-year-olds are morons). But being 25, 26 in less than one month, I know what I'm talking about by this point in my life. I hope to learn much more in my life, needless to say, and continue to grow and improve at the hobbies and professions of my choosing, but as for my world views, they aren't going to change much. They may become more refined, i.e. I'll have even more supporting evidence for what I believe, and better ways of putting it as I continue to have to defend myself, but I won't just wake up one day, "Wow god all of the sudden I just realized that instead of spending my time focusing on a great career and my big ambitions, I really would like to have a few kids and live in suburbia." I mean that's not going to happen. I may one day learn to appreciate broccoli. Maybe. But even that I doubt
I am always honest, but it's not the best for me. It's only the best for other people. If anything it gets me into trouble. On any forum the more honest you are, the more someone can attack you for that honesty because they know more about you. In real life, the more honest you are about a lot of things, the more they come back to bite you. If a girl knows early on that you're not interested in marriage or kids, she can make judgments that you are a playboy or just trying to get in her pants. Or even if she doesn't jump to that conclusion, she sees you as a waste of time because her ultimate goal is to get married and have kids. So in a way it's like tipping my hand, here, see, these are my cards. Ok now you saw them. Oh you don't want to date me because I don't want kids? Well, ok, glad I showed you my hand. Haha, it's not good for me. But I'm ok with that, I'm used to it, I enjoy being single and prefer my honesty and integrity above all else, nobody will take either from me...
Dude, do you babble as much in real life as you do on here?
Anyway, in regards to the highlighted statement, wouldn't you view a girl as a waste of time if she told you she wanted to have kids in the future or she was unsure of whether or not she wanted to start a family? It works both ways.
Most of the men I know, their views changed considerably from 25/26 to their mid-30s. I'm not saying that's going to be the case with you (I'm actually in favor of you not procreating. ), but it's not uncommon to view the world and life differently in a matter of 10-15 years, regardless of your sex.
Dude, do you babble as much in real life as you do on here?
Anyway, in regards to the highlighted statement, wouldn't you view a girl as a waste of time if she told you she wanted to have kids in the future or she was unsure of whether or not she wanted to start a family? It works both ways.
No, not at all. If she eventually wants kids that's ok with me, we can date. You don't seem to understand it doesn't work both ways. I'm fine with a girl dating me for two to three months, or two to three years, then saying, "Hey, look, I need a guy who can give me a commitment and I want to have kids." I'd just be like, ok, yeah you're right, I guess it's that time to go ahead and go find that guy. I am not going to take it personally, it's nothing personal, it's just about your life goals. I do not have a problem with dating girls who eventually want kids, probably every girl I've dated has been that way so far I think. One actually now has kids, eerie...
You should want someone like me to have kids, honestly, because if I did you know I would be able to raise a kid better than most parents. I'm a total perfectionist in all that I do, with ample financial resources, and if I did have a kid I would obviously be able to provide a path to success. But that's not really the point. The point is I believe I can do more good for the world by giving my time towards greater causes than just one kid. I would rather impact the world if I can in a greater way. I'm not saying I will be able to accomplish that, I'm only saying that's my goal and I believe I have a high enough chance at success that it's a worthy pursuit.
LOL, my dad said he was the same way. I will eat broccoli. But I am not a fan of it. If someone cooks it I will eat it because I know it's good for me, but I just don't care for it. Scientists have these few specifications for how to tell a fruit from a vegetable. I think it's pretty easy -- eat it. If it tastes pretty bad, it's a vegetable. If it tastes good, it's gotta be a fruit! Don't get me wrong I like lettuce on my sandwiches, and I like onions on it too, and green peppers, sometimes pickles even, but it's part of the whole, it's like I enjoy ketchup but not by itself, it has to be on something. Whereas fruit, no matter what it is, always seems to taste good. Like eating pineapple is essentially like eating candy, only better, because it tastes great and it's good for you, etc. This is why I don't care what they want to try to pull with reclassifying tomatoes, they are clearly a vegetable and not a fruit. If they were a fruit you could bite into it, it would be sugary tasting, and it wouldn't taste awful. It's a vegetable. Its only use in my mind is to mash it up into salsa, make it into tomato sauce for pizza, lasagna, or spaghetti, or throw them at politicians. Otherwise, ick.
I still think honesty is best. you really shouldn't want to date for 2-3 months, then it's over. what was the point? just seek out a girl who doesn't want kids, I'm sure there's plenty out there. be like George Clooney and just date several women, be clear of your intentions and it should be fine. nothing wrong with dating casually. Don't wait until that awkward point comes months into the relationship where you 2 have to sit and say "I want kids" - "I don't, so I guess we break up now". that seems so unnecessary to me. oh well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonathanLB
First to answer the other question before i forget since I didn't quote that reply. No, I want a vasectomy, but since I haven't had a girlfriend for a while I'm lazy and tend to have other priorities of more immediate concern, so I figure the next time I have a serious girlfriend, if that happens, I should get that taken care of because it'd be a lot less stress on me. My friend Erik says, not even jokingly, that we should get it done together and then sit around for the next three days playing PS3, hahaha, which would be hilarious. That'd make a great little short film, two life-long friends go get their tubes tied together, then play video games. haha, j/k
I am always honest, but it's not the best for me. It's only the best for other people. If anything it gets me into trouble. On any forum the more honest you are, the more someone can attack you for that honesty because they know more about you. In real life, the more honest you are about a lot of things, the more they come back to bite you. If a girl knows early on that you're not interested in marriage or kids, she can make judgments that you are a playboy or just trying to get in her pants. Or even if she doesn't jump to that conclusion, she sees you as a waste of time because her ultimate goal is to get married and have kids. So in a way it's like tipping my hand, here, see, these are my cards. Ok now you saw them. Oh you don't want to date me because I don't want kids? Well, ok, glad I showed you my hand. Haha, it's not good for me. But I'm ok with that, I'm used to it, I enjoy being single and prefer my honesty and integrity above all else, nobody will take either from me. If I have to lie to be with a girl, I'd rather not. None of my guy friends agree with me on this, they think I'm stupid, they think I should lie to get in a girl's pants because they can't understand why you'd be honest if it doesn't benefit you directly. But my attitude is that honesty is its own reward. Since I'm always honest about what I want and what I think, I can be loved or hated for who I am, and I'd rather everyone hate me for who I am than put on some sort of front to make people like me for that. Anyone can do that, especially me, I have plenty of experience in polite society and with high ranking politicians, celebrities, businessmen, etc. I grew up learning how to say the right things, act the right way, all of that. I don't really care to act that way anymore. I'd rather live my life on my terms. What I think is what I say, and if someone doesn't like it as far as I care they can buzz off. I have the means to live my life on my terms, nobody else's, and I would prefer to live a life without compromise than anyone else's idea of the good life. If that means being single because I won't lie to be with a girl, fine, better to be honest and single.
Yeah that's why I usually say something upfront. But since most girls do want kids, that ends things right upfront much of the time
George Clooney is awesome in that respect. When I heard that about him, that he didn't ever want kids, I gained tons of respect for him. Too many celebrities have it all, money, power, fame, and they still act ordinary in other ways, it's depressing. The last thing I want to see is gorgeous 20-something celebrities ruining their bodies with kids. Oh well I'm sure I'll be ogling their hot offspring 18 years from now anyway, so there is that.
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hahaha. Sorry. All I'm saying is that if I said I was 40, everyone would lay off. If I said I was 15, nobody would take me seriously at all (ok, ok, for good reason, 15-year-olds are morons). But being 25, 26 in less than one month, I know what I'm talking about by this point in my life. I hope to learn much more in my life, needless to say, and continue to grow and improve at the hobbies and professions of my choosing, but as for my world views, they aren't going to change much. They may become more refined, i.e. I'll have even more supporting evidence for what I believe, and better ways of putting it as I continue to have to defend myself, but I won't just wake up one day, "Wow god all of the sudden I just realized that instead of spending my time focusing on a great career and my big ambitions, I really would like to have a few kids and live in suburbia." I mean that's not going to happen. I may one day learn to appreciate broccoli. Maybe. But even that I doubt 
