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Great post. Too bad I cannot Rep you. I need to spread the love.........
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
Hey Ron!
Sometimes percieved social expectations are more of a maturity issue than anything else. Once someone has lived long enough and realized their likes/dislikes and their comfort zones, others opinions about social norms seem to dissipate.
dont find more people find a hobby and enjoy it. that will take care of social issues unless its counting polar bears at an alaskan outpost solo. dont isolate after a heavy people job esp a very negative one, bad medicine. physical fitness is critical to health. start doing it asap. getting comfortable at home can be nothing more than depression.
I like the idea of a class and think I will do that. I think I'll sign up for a cooking class. I used to volunteer but, given the nature of my job, I think I will pass on that. And Good Lord, with how the days fly so fast, the LAST thing I want is another job. Nope, 40 hours of working is more than enough for me.
I have signed up for several meetup groups. The problem is the day comes and I'd rather stay at home.
I'm a homebody by nature also. Nothing makes me happier to be at home with my dogs and cats. On the other hand, when I was working at the restaurant, I really enjoyed the social interactions I had with all of the staff.
I was very shy as a child. Moving out of my parents house and having the jobs at as a record store cashier and then a waitress really helped me to come out of my shell and gain confidence. I prefer banquet server work over a la carte because it's organized as a team effort.
And if you are comfortable being a homebody, that's fine and there is nothing wrong with that. However, humans by nature are meant to be social creatures. Don't force yourself to be a social butterfly, but you sound young and it's good to connect with a few quality people. If you do like to cook, maybe once or twice a year, volunteer at a soup kitchen type place and help serving the homeless a hot meal on the holidays.
dont find more people find a hobby and enjoy it. that will take care of social issues unless its counting polar bears at an alaskan outpost solo. dont isolate after a heavy people job esp a very negative one, bad medicine. physical fitness is critical to health. start doing it asap. getting comfortable at home can be nothing more than depression.
Very good advice. My hobbies (aside from cooking, and I am going to sign up for a class!) are solitary. I like to bead and with regards to working out - I have an elliptical cross trainer at home (gym grade) - so the gym is out for me. But you raise a very good point - it has been MONTHS since I worked out. I had a BIG loss in July that really was hard to deal with. I just haven't gotten back into the swing of things.
Here is something I came across which pretty much sums things up for me.
I'm a homebody by nature also. Nothing makes me happier to be at home with my dogs and cats. On the other hand, when I was working at the restaurant, I really enjoyed the social interactions I had with all of the staff.
I was very shy as a child. Moving out of my parents house and having the jobs at as a record store cashier and then a waitress really helped me to come out of my shell and gain confidence. I prefer banquet server work over a la carte because it's organized as a team effort.
And if you are comfortable being a homebody, that's fine and there is nothing wrong with that. However, humans by nature are meant to be social creatures. Don't force yourself to be a social butterfly, but you sound young and it's good to connect with a few quality people. If you do like to cook, maybe once or twice a year, volunteer at a soup kitchen type place and help serving the homeless a hot meal on the holidays.
Thank you for saying I sound young. That is very sweet. Truth is one is only as old as one feels, right? I mean, I am young at heart, and that's what counts.
Well, the one thing I could do would be to supervise a visit on Thanksgiving for one of my kiddos. I am reluctant to do this, but I just may do this, even though we were going to take the risk of doing an unsupervised visit. Long story there - won't go there. But see, this is work-related and I need to get a life outside of work. My entire job is one giant volunteer effort, for what I get paid.
I volunteered at a homeless shelter and I'd recommend this to anyone and everyone. It WILL change your life and is one of the BEST things I ever did.
Anyway, I really appreciate everyone's comments. Thanks!
I have signed up for several meetup groups. The problem is the day comes and I'd rather stay at home.
I'm just like you right now. I haven't always been this way. Even though I've always been more or less of an introvert and not exactly a social butterfly, I used to love going out to coffee shops, restaurants, movie theaters, bookstores, art exhibits, just for walks by the sea (different life), meeting friends, etc.
My life turned in this direction mostly because of the lifestyle here and also because of the messy state of my personal affairs. I was really, really hoping my last marriage would last. What I mean by the lifestyle... I don't care to meet friends going somewhere in our respective cars and leaving in them. You can't make any tentative plan you could if you met and were actually together for whatever duration. My social life got mainly killed by the Nazy non-smoking laws. Also, I'd rather have a few drinks when I go out, but I don't have a designated driver now and moved to the periphery of the city. I can't even begin to imagine risking a DUI considering the nearest bus stop is about 4 miles away. Frankly, when you work and you're tired you can't take much, either, and feel like you're OK driving. I used to feel perfectly fine on 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine, but not as much anymore... You know how spread-out the cities are here and how outrageous the cab fares are. It has to be an absolutely exceptional party I'd spend $80-100 on cabs for. Over here most of the "entertainment" used to be recreational shopping. Well, can't afford much of that anymore.
Online life doesn't help, either, since the majority lives online. If we all didn't have this crap, we'd get out and about!
And yeah, Huck is right about the depression... Most of the time I feel like a zombie and wonder why the hell I still cater to my stomach, but I suppose looking at the Sun and the blue sky is still somewhat better.
I'm just like you right now. I haven't always been this way. Even though I've always been more or less of an introvert and not exactly a social butterfly, I used to love going out to coffee shops, restaurants, movie theaters, bookstores, art exhibits, just for walks by the sea (different life), meeting friends, etc.
My life turned in this direction mostly because of the lifestyle here and also because of the messy state of my personal affairs. I was really, really hoping my last marriage would last. What I mean by the lifestyle... I don't care to meet friends going somewhere in our respective cars and leaving in them. You can't make any tentative plan you could if you met and were actually together for whatever duration. My social life got mainly killed by the Nazy non-smoking laws. Also, I'd rather have a few drinks when I go out, but I don't have a designated driver now and moved to the periphery of the city. I can't even begin to imagine risking a DUI considering the nearest bus stop is about 4 miles away. Frankly, when you work and you're tired you can't take much, either, and feel like you're OK driving. I used to feel perfectly fine on 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine, but not as much anymore... You know how spread-out the cities are here and how outrageous the cab fares are. It has to be an absolutely exceptional party I'd spend $80-100 on cabs for. Over here most of the "entertainment" used to be recreational shopping. Well, can't afford much of that anymore.
Online life doesn't help, either, since the majority lives online. If we all didn't have this crap, we'd get out and about!
And yeah, Huck is right about the depression... Most of the time I feel like a zombie and wonder why the hell I still cater to my stomach, but I suppose looking at the Sun and the blue sky is still somewhat better.
The clowns ARE the saddest folks - that's something many don't realize.
I'm not any better or worse than usual. Just occasionally I feel compelled to take off the mask for the sake of others in the same shoes. It's always a little bit better at least to know you're not alone.
I'm just like you right now. I haven't always been this way. Even though I've always been more or less of an introvert and not exactly a social butterfly, I used to love going out to coffee shops, restaurants, movie theaters, bookstores, art exhibits, just for walks by the sea (different life), meeting friends, etc.
My life turned in this direction mostly because of the lifestyle here and also because of the messy state of my personal affairs. I was really, really hoping my last marriage would last. What I mean by the lifestyle... I don't care to meet friends going somewhere in our respective cars and leaving in them. You can't make any tentative plan you could if you met and were actually together for whatever duration. My social life got mainly killed by the Nazy non-smoking laws. Also, I'd rather have a few drinks when I go out, but I don't have a designated driver now and moved to the periphery of the city. I can't even begin to imagine risking a DUI considering the nearest bus stop is about 4 miles away. Frankly, when you work and you're tired you can't take much, either, and feel like you're OK driving. I used to feel perfectly fine on 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine, but not as much anymore... You know how spread-out the cities are here and how outrageous the cab fares are. It has to be an absolutely exceptional party I'd spend $80-100 on cabs for. Over here most of the "entertainment" used to be recreational shopping. Well, can't afford much of that anymore.
Online life doesn't help, either, since the majority lives online. If we all didn't have this crap, we'd get out and about!
And yeah, Huck is right about the depression... Most of the time I feel like a zombie and wonder why the hell I still cater to my stomach, but I suppose looking at the Sun and the blue sky is still somewhat better.
Anywhooo... Cheers!
(((Hugs))) I can completely relate, as I live 90 miles north of you. I've been to one bar here in five years. I am not a drinker driver and Sheriff Joe's Tent City (which I drive by on a regular basis visiting one of my kiddos) is always a reminder of "reality." I also had a different life - walking by the sea. I do try to tell myself to walk around a man-made pond for fun here, but it just ain't the same.
Anyway, sorry to hear about the messiness. Stuff happens, unfortunately. I, too, was different in my former life. I am just trying to figure out a way to make due with what I have, move forward, try to get the "ertia" to go out and do it. And I just invented a new word! Ertia.
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used to be recreational shopping. Well, can't afford much of that anymore.
